I think this is funny joke - GoFuckYourself.com

jimmyf · 05-20-2002, 05:09 PM

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees
about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

"Is your Daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy
there?"

"Yes," came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again, the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked the child, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the firemen," came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked,

"What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little
frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied (along with a muffled
giggle),

"Me."

Dreamman010 · 05-20-2002, 05:23 PM

I'll give it a 4/5

DigitalPimpShit · 05-20-2002, 05:30 PM

kenny · 05-20-2002, 05:34 PM

That was a good one

Here is one a buddy sent me, I'm lazy and just copied it from the email and pasted it here,

> > > > BE STRONG, HONEY!

> > > > A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15
>years.
> > > > As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a
>young
> > > > couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair,
>ties
> > > > up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses
>her
> > > > on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
> > > >
> > > > While he is there, the husband tells his wife:
> > > >
> > > > "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably
>spent
> > > > a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. If he
>wants
> > > > sex don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him
> > > > satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will
> > kill
> > > > us. Be strong, honey. I love you"
> > > >
> > > > To which the wife responds, "I am glad you think that way. Sure, he
>has
> > > > not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck. He was
> > > > whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and
>asked
> > > > if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.
> > > >
> > > > Be strong, honey. I love you too......

chodadog · 05-20-2002, 06:24 PM

lol, that was cute.

Funbrunette · 05-20-2002, 07:02 PM

Not bad...Got a chuckle out of me!

KRosh · 05-20-2002, 07:04 PM

My favorite at this time:

The Importance of Using Correct E-Mail Addresses:

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday and his wife would follow him the next day. upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived! I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow . Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

marty · 05-21-2002, 12:00 AM

A man goes into a bar and orders two shots of scotch.

The bartender says:
"What's the occasion?"

The man replies:
"I just had my first blowjob!"

The bartender:
"Congratulations! Here, ... a shot on the house."

The man:
"No thanks, two should be enough to kill the taste!"

tayloryum · 05-22-2002, 01:58 PM

> A Guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes
> > it's a gay bar. But what the heck," he
> > says, "I really want a drink."
> > When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the
> > customer, "What's the name of your penis?".
> >
> > The guy says "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I
> > want is a drink."
> > The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you
> > until you tell me the name of your penis.
> > Mine for example is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just do
> > it.' That guy at the end of the bar calls
> > his Snickers, because 'It really satisfies!"
> > The customer looked dumbfounded, so the bartender
> > tells him he will give him a second to
> > think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to
> > his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey
> > bud, what's the name of your penis?"
> > The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."
> > The thirsty customer asks "Why TIMEX?"
> > "Because, it takes a lickin', and keeps on tickin'."
> > A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on
> > his right, who is sipping a margarita and
> > says, "So, what do you call your penis?"
> > The man turns to him and proudly says, "FORD,
> > because 'Quality is job one."
> > Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"
> > Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a
> > moment before he comes up with a name
> > for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and
> > exclaims, "The name of my penis is
> > 'Secret'. Now give me my beer."
> > The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but
> > with a puzzled look asks, "Why
> > Secret?"
> > The customer says, "Because IT'S STRONG ENOUGH FOR A
> > MAN, BUT MADE FOR A
> > WOMAN!"
>

05-20-2002, 05:09 PM	#1
jimmyf OU812 Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: California Posts: 12,651	I think this is funny joke The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" "Is your Daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again, the small voice whispered, "No." Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked the child, "Is anybody else there?" "Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the firemen," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied (along with a muffled giggle), "Me." __________________ Epic CashEpic Cash works for me Solar Cash Paysite Plugin Gallery of the day freesites,POTD,Gallery generator with free hosting

05-20-2002, 05:23 PM	#2
Dreamman010 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 1,081	I'll give it a 4/5 __________________ <a href="http://www2.famoushost.com/home.php" target="_blank"><b><FONT COLOR="FFFF00">www.FamousHost.com</font></b></a><br>Free Hosting With No Headers, Real FTP, <u>Get listed on the biggest TGP's with us!</u>

05-20-2002, 07:02 PM	#6
Funbrunette Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 4,834	Not bad...Got a chuckle out of me! __________________ Stephanie (Funbrunette) [email protected] ICQ: 155-713-409

05-20-2002, 05:30 PM	#3
DigitalPimpShit Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: In your future Posts: 783

05-20-2002, 05:34 PM	#4
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	That was a good one Here is one a buddy sent me, I'm lazy and just copied it from the email and pasted it here, > > > > BE STRONG, HONEY! > > > > A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 >years. > > > > As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a >young > > > > couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, >ties > > > > up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses >her > > > > on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. > > > > > > > > While he is there, the husband tells his wife: > > > > > > > > "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably >spent > > > > a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. If he >wants > > > > sex don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him > > > > satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will > > kill > > > > us. Be strong, honey. I love you" > > > > > > > > To which the wife responds, "I am glad you think that way. Sure, he >has > > > > not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck. He was > > > > whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and >asked > > > > if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. > > > > > > > > Be strong, honey. I love you too......

05-20-2002, 06:24 PM	#5
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	lol, that was cute.

05-20-2002, 07:04 PM	#7
KRosh So Fucking Outlawed Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 5,114	My favorite at this time: The Importance of Using Correct E-Mail Addresses: A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday and his wife would follow him the next day. upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived! I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow . Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

05-21-2002, 12:00 AM	#8
marty Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 1,656	A man goes into a bar and orders two shots of scotch. The bartender says: "What's the occasion?" The man replies: "I just had my first blowjob!" The bartender: "Congratulations! Here, ... a shot on the house." The man: "No thanks, two should be enough to kill the taste!"

05-22-2002, 01:58 PM	#9
tayloryum Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Chicago, IL, USA Posts: 423	> A Guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes > > it's a gay bar. But what the heck," he > > says, "I really want a drink." > > When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the > > customer, "What's the name of your penis?". > > > > The guy says "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I > > want is a drink." > > The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you > > until you tell me the name of your penis. > > Mine for example is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just do > > it.' That guy at the end of the bar calls > > his Snickers, because 'It really satisfies!" > > The customer looked dumbfounded, so the bartender > > tells him he will give him a second to > > think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to > > his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey > > bud, what's the name of your penis?" > > The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." > > The thirsty customer asks "Why TIMEX?" > > "Because, it takes a lickin', and keeps on tickin'." > > A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on > > his right, who is sipping a margarita and > > says, "So, what do you call your penis?" > > The man turns to him and proudly says, "FORD, > > because 'Quality is job one." > > Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" > > Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a > > moment before he comes up with a name > > for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and > > exclaims, "The name of my penis is > > 'Secret'. Now give me my beer." > > The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but > > with a puzzled look asks, "Why > > Secret?" > > The customer says, "Because IT'S STRONG ENOUGH FOR A > > MAN, BUT MADE FOR A > > WOMAN!" >