What's Your Best Joke? - GoFuckYourself.com

BrettJ · 05-18-2002, 07:05 PM

Hanging out with friends - I like to drop a new joke that makes them wet themselves. Yeh, I'm a sick fuck =)

So what's your best joke? (doesn't need to be graphic... just funny)

I'll start - this happens to be one of mine that gets the most laughs. (guess it tells you the type of people I hang around)

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bath tub?

A: You can't Fuck a bath tub.

Amputate Your Head · 05-18-2002, 07:08 PM

Q. What's the difference between an

never mind.... I'll just end up answering for this all night.

Rod · 05-18-2002, 07:09 PM

My best one is in french...

Pet pis repete sen vont en bateau.
Pet tombe a leau...
Qui est-ce quil reste?

REPETE!

Thats damn funny uh?

And sorry, my keyboard is installed in english so I cannot type any accents

TaDoW · 05-18-2002, 09:25 PM

Q: What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

A: With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside!

Dreamman010 · 05-18-2002, 09:48 PM

Top 10 Ways to Tell if a Redneck is Using Your Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
2. The keyboard is painted in camoflague.

And the number #1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on your computer is....

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".....

Earl Pitts - Native Uhmericun Redneck.

I like #7 for some reason. Just sounds funny.

Jimbo · 05-18-2002, 10:17 PM

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get hit by a car.

Daymare · 05-18-2002, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dreamman010
Top 10 Ways to Tell if a Redneck is Using Your Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
2. The keyboard is painted in camoflague.

And the number #1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on your computer is....

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".....

Earl Pitts - Native Uhmericun Redneck.

I like #7 for some reason. Just sounds funny.

That is about the funniest god damn thing I have read it WEEKS!!! ROFLOL!!

Keep 'em coming...

I guess I could add one of my own.

Q: What don't witches wear underwear?

A: Better grip on the broom.

CDSmith · 05-18-2002, 11:18 PM

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom

How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed

What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick"

Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A Bingo Machine

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong

How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say Fuck?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo"

BrettJ · 05-19-2002, 04:03 AM

Q: how did helen keller burn her hand?

A: she tried to read the waffle iron.

Q: how did she burn the right side of her face?

A: the phone rang, and she answered the Iron.

Q: How did she burn the Left side of her face?

A: They called back !

Q: How does Hellen Keller's mom get back at her daughter?

A: Re-arranges the furniture on her.

Lord Assmore · 05-19-2002, 05:21 AM

A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69."
She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care."
They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.
She says, "Answer the door."
He says, "But my face is a mess."
She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything,
just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich."
He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a
jam sandwich."
The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was
looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."

ServerGenius · 05-19-2002, 07:02 AM

When out with your friends ask one of them:

you: Yo have you ever seen a HUGE black guy fucking a bitch real hard?
he: No
you: Go home fast!

Q: what does your GF say after 10 divine orgasms?
A: Thanks < your name here >

DynaMite

05-18-2002, 07:09 PM	#3
Rod Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: MTL, QC, CAN Posts: 1,243	My best one is in french... Pet pis repete sen vont en bateau. Pet tombe a leau... Qui est-ce quil reste? REPETE! Thats damn funny uh? And sorry, my keyboard is installed in english so I cannot type any accents __________________ woohoo!

05-18-2002, 09:25 PM	#4
TaDoW Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Where It Rains Posts: 3,875	Q: What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A: With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside! __________________ -TaDoW I've Upped My Standards, Up Yours!

05-18-2002, 09:48 PM	#5
Dreamman010 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 1,081	Top 10 Ways to Tell if a Redneck is Using Your Computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Bubba". 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is painted in camoflague. And the number #1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on your computer is.... 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter"..... Earl Pitts - Native Uhmericun Redneck. I like #7 for some reason. Just sounds funny. __________________ <a href="http://www2.famoushost.com/home.php" target="_blank"><b><FONT COLOR="FFFF00">www.FamousHost.com</font></b></a><br>Free Hosting With No Headers, Real FTP, <u>Get listed on the biggest TGP's with us!</u>

05-18-2002, 10:17 PM	#6
Jimbo Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Montreal Posts: 3,989	Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a car. __________________ free sex videos

05-18-2002, 11:18 PM	#8
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom How do you know when you're really ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? Say, "Nice Dick" Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have? Palm Sunday What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A Bingo Machine What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say Fuck? Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo" __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

05-18-2002, 07:05 PM	#1
BrettJ ol' timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Seattle WA Posts: 4,715	What's Your Best Joke? Hanging out with friends - I like to drop a new joke that makes them wet themselves. Yeh, I'm a sick fuck =) So what's your best joke? (doesn't need to be graphic... just funny) I'll start - this happens to be one of mine that gets the most laughs. (guess it tells you the type of people I hang around) Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bath tub? A: You can't Fuck a bath tub.

05-18-2002, 07:08 PM	#2
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Q. What's the difference between an never mind.... I'll just end up answering for this all night.

05-19-2002, 04:03 AM	#9
BrettJ ol' timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Seattle WA Posts: 4,715	Q: how did helen keller burn her hand? A: she tried to read the waffle iron. Q: how did she burn the right side of her face? A: the phone rang, and she answered the Iron. Q: How did she burn the Left side of her face? A: They called back ! Q: How does Hellen Keller's mom get back at her daughter? A: Re-arranges the furniture on her.

05-19-2002, 05:21 AM	#10
Lord Assmore Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The Periphery Posts: 588	A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69." She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care." They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings. She says, "Answer the door." He says, "But my face is a mess." She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything, just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich." He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a jam sandwich." The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."

05-19-2002, 07:02 AM	#11
ServerGenius Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Amsterdam Posts: 9,377	When out with your friends ask one of them: you: Yo have you ever seen a HUGE black guy fucking a bitch real hard? he: No you: Go home fast! Q: what does your GF say after 10 divine orgasms? A: Thanks < your name here > DynaMite __________________ \| http://www.sinnerscash.com/ \| ICQ: 370820 \| Skype: SinnersCash \| AdultWhosWho \|