Noobs: How to succeed on GFY (and thus in the Adult industry). 10 easy rules. - GoFuckYourself.com

jimthefiend · 03-22-2006, 04:53 AM

1: Most important rule: Pucker up. Kiss as MUCH ass as you can. Be sure and post a "

" or "lol" in EVERY thread started by someone who either has a post count of 5k or higher, or joined before 2003. Although you're certain that "Super Uber Pimp Daddy Pants" is actually a 19 year old surfer named "Ethan" you must treat him as though he is Hugh Hefner. It's all about sucking on that post count titty. Be sure and act like every word that comes out of his mouth is pure genius, even though he is drunk and discussing the merits of the new "Rancid" cd.

2: This relates intimately to rule #1. Under NO circumstances should you EVER disagree with, or god forbid "call out" someone who meets the post count or join date criteria I just gave you; or who has the name of a "program" in front of their nick. Example: BukkakeBucksDave, or BloodyRectumCashBob. Remember: These people are by nature, cooler than you, try to ignore that fact that the AVERAGE affiliate manager is just a failed webmaster who kissed the right ass at a show once.

3: Never be the FIRST to tell a model that she looks like a low rent crack whore or tranny. Let one of the "top posters" initiate that. Once he or she does, by all means, jump on that bandwagon both feet first. The "Top poster" will love you for it, since most of them require constant stroking of their fragile egos. In fact, ANY "bandwagon" made available to you should be taken advantage of. See rule #1.

4: You MUST attend at least one show a year. Mortage your home if you have to, sell your children, whatever it takes. You simply are NOT "cool" until you've spent 10 grand on an open bar to get 47 idiots drunk. This also presents the opportunity to get those ALL IMPORTANT "event pics". Again, you aren't cool OR successful until you've made an appearance on FUBAR. Plus, this gives you a real life chance to follow rule #1. Make sure to remember some names. Dropping them in a thread will make you look fucking AWESOME. Example: "Hey Marvin, remember when I puked on you in that elevator at the Venetian?" etc.

5: Once a week, start each of these threads:

"Would you hit it? (pic)"
"Klik Whores suck!"
"Right now I am listening to:"
"George Bush is evil."
"Spam me with single girl sites."
"Good morning GFY."
"Epassporte fucked me again!!!11111"

Etc, etc. You get the point. Thread topics like these will allow you to post, while not offending the Elite with your temerity in starting a "business thread".

6: If you purchase a new tv or car IMMEDIATELY start a thread with a picture of it. If you can't afford a new tv or car, rent one for a day.

7: Everytime theres a new skin, start a thread with your opinion of it. I think theres a contest going on or something.

8: For obvious reasons; wether your a sig whore or not, try to get a post in on the first page of the following sorts of threads:

Every thread started by Lensman.
Any drama involving a major program.
Fansign request threads started by anyone whos ever been in Penthouse.
Threads started by Juicy or Ramos when they're hopped up.
Any thread started by Tassy.
Any thread started by Pimpdog with the word "Lensman" in the title.
Any thread started by Jimthefiend with the words "Arika" or "Mob Bucks" in the title.

These are some suggestions, I'm sure you can think of others.

9: Sell your sig as soon as you can. You aren't anywhere NEAR cool unless you have one, and you might as well make a few bucks.

10: Go back, read rule #1. Print it out. Stick it on your 'frig. It is the gospel you must live by if you are to succeed.

Thank you, I hope I've helped.

the Shemp · 03-22-2006, 05:00 AM

6a: If you purchase anything, IMMEDIATELY start a thread with a picture of it.

cranki · 03-22-2006, 05:01 AM

hahahhahahaaa awesome

dissipate · 03-22-2006, 05:03 AM

Jim, .01% of your threads are business related. Pot, this is the kettle, you're black.

jimthefiend · 03-22-2006, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dissipate

Jim, .01% of your threads are business related. Pot, this is the kettle, you're black.

Stfu jackass, when I want your opinion I'll give you one.

dissipate · 03-22-2006, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimthefiend

Stfu jackass, when I want your opinion I'll give you one.

Sorry, I don't feed the trolls. Have a great night Jim

Wilbo · 03-22-2006, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dissipate

Jim, .01% of your threads are business related. Pot, this is the kettle, you're black.

OK, I think I have got the hang of this. Would it be OK for me to jump on this bashing bandwagon cuz someone else has already bashed someone? If so consider yourself bashed. I wish I could be more to the point, but I forgot who we're bashing already.

BOSS1 · 03-22-2006, 05:13 AM

You forgot about starting a thread with "Noobs: How to succeed on GFY (and thus in the Adult industry). 10 easy rules. "

jimthefiend · 03-22-2006, 05:14 AM

Wow I ruffled feathers. Good on me.

Off to do some boarding now. Fresh powder and all that. Carry on.

StuartD · 03-22-2006, 05:18 AM

This thread seems familiar somehow

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=311237

broke · 03-22-2006, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wilbo

OK, I think I have got the hang of this. Would it be OK for me to jump on this bashing bandwagon cuz someone else has already bashed someone? If so consider yourself bashed. I wish I could be more to the point, but I forgot who we're bashing already.

As you can clearly see via the PPC (post count coolness) Theorem, Jim is 376.5% ((9,383/2,492)*100) cooler than dissipate therefore I hope you bashed the correct person.

jimthefiend · 03-22-2006, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD

This thread seems familiar somehow

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=311237

HA HA didnt see that. Well facts are facts.

Great minds think alike.

jimthefiend · 03-22-2006, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by broke

As you can clearly see via the PPC (post count coolness) Theorem, Jim is 376.5% ((9,383/2,492)*100) cooler than dissipate therefore I hope you bashed the correct person.

Ok I'm off to break a limb now.

Manowar · 03-22-2006, 05:28 AM

hahaha thats awesome

polish_aristocrat · 03-22-2006, 08:09 AM

CDSmith · 03-22-2006, 08:30 AM

Everyone, come suck on my postcount titty.

ooooo.....AAAAAAAH......OOOOOooooH

PaulB IYP · 03-22-2006, 08:32 AM

Nicky · 03-22-2006, 08:40 AM

I dont want any ass kissed, wouldnt mind a blowjob though

lickmymonster · 03-22-2006, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

Everyone, come suck on my postcount titty.

ooooo.....AAAAAAAH......OOOOOooooH

mmmmh postcount titty

AmateurFlix · 03-22-2006, 08:43 AM

lolololol

Sexsitesurfer · 03-22-2006, 08:43 AM

I'd better do some ass kissing.....

Jim, Polish, Manowar, Shemp, Stuart and all you 5,000+ers, you guys rock, I totally agree with you!

How am I doing?

polish_aristocrat · 03-22-2006, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sexsitesurfer

I'd better do some ass kissing.....

Jim, Polish, Manowar, Shemp, Stuart and all you 5,000+ers, you guys rock, I totally agree with you!

How am I doing?

you forgot about platinumfeedspaul, see rule no 2

Sexsitesurfer · 03-22-2006, 08:50 AM

So sub 5,000 but program before name still equals ass kiss?

I need to polish up on my board manners.

Sorry platinumfeedspaul, no disrespect intended. You also rock, and I agree!

Lord Nelson · 03-22-2006, 08:58 AM

looks like someone needs a hug.

dig420 · 03-22-2006, 09:15 AM

who the fuck cares about post count? Nobody except people with high post counts, and those are usually nobodies anyway.

Juicy et al are GFY fabulous because they're funny, there are people with higher post counts who nobody pays any attention to. There are a lot of GFY posters who post outrageous or offensive shit in a desperate bid to get attention, and they get it. The problem with that is that people like me remember who these people are and go out of our way to NEVER do anything to help them succeed, in fact we'll fuck them over if we get the opportunity. It doesn't really pay to be a professional asshole.

ddfGandalf · 03-22-2006, 09:22 AM

Sexsitesurfer, get back to work, will you?:p

seeric · 03-22-2006, 09:25 AM

you forgot to tell them to post the GFY official mascot

THE EMU

Sexsitesurfer · 03-22-2006, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddfGandalf

Sexsitesurfer, get back to work, will you?:p

Sorry Gandalf, I have to respect you as you have DDF before your name!

Consider me gone!

Ycaza · 03-22-2006, 09:53 AM

funny shit man

Young · 03-22-2006, 09:54 AM

So making it on GFY = making it in the Adult webmaster world?

highly doubt it.

Quagmire · 03-22-2006, 09:56 AM

i'D HIT IT.

Oh wait... wrong thread.

KingK7 · 03-22-2006, 09:59 AM

Hahaha thats funny, I cant believe you wrote all that though

SilentKnight · 03-22-2006, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Young

So making it on GFY = making it in the Adult webmaster world?

highly doubt it.

Was thinkin' the exact same thing.

robfantasy · 03-22-2006, 10:07 AM

lol great post to start the morning haha

Cyber Fucker · 03-22-2006, 10:08 AM

hehehe....

Platinumpimp · 03-22-2006, 10:11 AM

That basically sums it up.

Rebecca Love · 03-22-2006, 10:42 AM

I love you jimthefiend. May I blow you now?

TheWylders · 03-22-2006, 10:55 AM

Good stuff!

V_RocKs · 03-22-2006, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dissipate

Sorry, I don't feed the trolls. Have a great night Jim

You missed #1...

loverboy · 03-22-2006, 11:46 AM

you crack me up dude, bookmarked!

BlingDaddy · 03-22-2006, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp

6a: If you purchase anything, IMMEDIATELY start a thread with a picture of it.

LMAO

KGB_dreams · 03-22-2006, 11:54 AM

Sig for sale. LOL

Platinum Mike · 03-22-2006, 11:57 AM

Great post...missed the first like this one so this one does the trick.

MaddCaz · 03-22-2006, 12:06 PM

I'm sorry...that shit is absolutely hilarious. I can't stop frigging laughing because it's ALL SO TRUE!!!!

Brujah · 03-22-2006, 12:13 PM

Jim, this is one of the best threads ever.

Ramos · 03-22-2006, 12:23 PM

lmfao.............

Deej · 03-22-2006, 12:28 PM

scribbling this gold down

James-AR · 03-22-2006, 12:29 PM

Just following the rules and trying to get on the first page....

VicD · 03-22-2006, 12:30 PM

nice one!

Beaver Bob · 03-22-2006, 12:31 PM

thats fuckin great!

03-22-2006, 05:00 AM	#2
the Shemp congrats to the winners Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Echo Beach Posts: 10,891	6a: If you purchase anything, IMMEDIATELY start a thread with a picture of it. __________________ i use Vacares...so should you Submit your picture galleries to my site...Outlaw TGP

03-22-2006, 05:18 AM	#10
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	This thread seems familiar somehow http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=311237 __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

03-22-2006, 08:09 AM	#15
polish_aristocrat Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 40,377	__________________ I don't use ICQ anymore.

03-22-2006, 08:30 AM	#16
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Everyone, come suck on my postcount titty. ooooo.....AAAAAAAH......OOOOOooooH __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-22-2006, 08:32 AM	#17
PaulB IYP Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: tdot Posts: 2,164	__________________ paulb@itsyourporn icq 292627919

03-22-2006, 04:53 AM	#1
jimthefiend So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: icq: 121189 Posts: 18,889	Noobs: How to succeed on GFY (and thus in the Adult industry). 10 easy rules. 1: Most important rule: Pucker up. Kiss as MUCH ass as you can. Be sure and post a "" or "lol" in EVERY thread started by someone who either has a post count of 5k or higher, or joined before 2003. Although you're certain that "Super Uber Pimp Daddy Pants" is actually a 19 year old surfer named "Ethan" you must treat him as though he is Hugh Hefner. It's all about sucking on that post count titty. Be sure and act like every word that comes out of his mouth is pure genius, even though he is drunk and discussing the merits of the new "Rancid" cd. 2: This relates intimately to rule #1. Under NO circumstances should you EVER disagree with, or god forbid "call out" someone who meets the post count or join date criteria I just gave you; or who has the name of a "program" in front of their nick. Example: BukkakeBucksDave, or BloodyRectumCashBob. Remember: These people are by nature, cooler than you, try to ignore that fact that the AVERAGE affiliate manager is just a failed webmaster who kissed the right ass at a show once. 3: Never be the FIRST to tell a model that she looks like a low rent crack whore or tranny. Let one of the "top posters" initiate that. Once he or she does, by all means, jump on that bandwagon both feet first. The "Top poster" will love you for it, since most of them require constant stroking of their fragile egos. In fact, ANY "bandwagon" made available to you should be taken advantage of. See rule #1. 4: You MUST attend at least one show a year. Mortage your home if you have to, sell your children, whatever it takes. You simply are NOT "cool" until you've spent 10 grand on an open bar to get 47 idiots drunk. This also presents the opportunity to get those ALL IMPORTANT "event pics". Again, you aren't cool OR successful until you've made an appearance on FUBAR. Plus, this gives you a real life chance to follow rule #1. Make sure to remember some names. Dropping them in a thread will make you look fucking AWESOME. Example: "Hey Marvin, remember when I puked on you in that elevator at the Venetian?" etc. 5: Once a week, start each of these threads: "Would you hit it? (pic)" "Klik Whores suck!" "Right now I am listening to:" "George Bush is evil." "Spam me with single girl sites." "Good morning GFY." "Epassporte fucked me again!!!11111" Etc, etc. You get the point. Thread topics like these will allow you to post, while not offending the Elite with your temerity in starting a "business thread". 6: If you purchase a new tv or car IMMEDIATELY start a thread with a picture of it. If you can't afford a new tv or car, rent one for a day. 7: Everytime theres a new skin, start a thread with your opinion of it. I think theres a contest going on or something. 8: For obvious reasons; wether your a sig whore or not, try to get a post in on the first page of the following sorts of threads: Every thread started by Lensman. Any drama involving a major program. Fansign request threads started by anyone whos ever been in Penthouse. Threads started by Juicy or Ramos when they're hopped up. Any thread started by Tassy. Any thread started by Pimpdog with the word "Lensman" in the title. Any thread started by Jimthefiend with the words "Arika" or "Mob Bucks" in the title. These are some suggestions, I'm sure you can think of others. 9: Sell your sig as soon as you can. You aren't anywhere NEAR cool unless you have one, and you might as well make a few bucks. 10: Go back, read rule #1. Print it out. Stick it on your 'frig. It is the gospel you must live by if you are to succeed. Thank you, I hope I've helped. Last edited by jimthefiend; 03-22-2006 at 04:55 AM..

03-22-2006, 05:01 AM	#3
cranki Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Café del Mar Posts: 5,162	hahahhahahaaa awesome

03-22-2006, 05:03 AM	#4
dissipate The Dirty Frenchman Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Lost Angeles Posts: 8,904	Jim, .01% of your threads are business related. Pot, this is the kettle, you're black.

03-22-2006, 05:13 AM	#8
BOSS1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Montreal / Sparta Posts: 4,331	You forgot about starting a thread with "Noobs: How to succeed on GFY (and thus in the Adult industry). 10 easy rules. "

03-22-2006, 05:14 AM	#9
jimthefiend So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: icq: 121189 Posts: 18,889	Wow I ruffled feathers. Good on me. Off to do some boarding now. Fresh powder and all that. Carry on.

03-22-2006, 05:28 AM	#14
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	hahaha thats awesome

03-22-2006, 08:40 AM	#18
Nicky Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,069	I dont want any ass kissed, wouldnt mind a blowjob though __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com

03-22-2006, 08:43 AM	#20
AmateurFlix Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 7,762	lolololol __________________

03-22-2006, 08:43 AM	#21
Sexsitesurfer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Porn land Posts: 3,157	I'd better do some ass kissing..... Jim, Polish, Manowar, Shemp, Stuart and all you 5,000+ers, you guys rock, I totally agree with you! How am I doing? __________________ Paul DDF Productions Marketing manager Skype: Marketing.DDF ICQ: 316302313 Cell: +36 30 732 6076 [email protected]

03-22-2006, 08:50 AM	#23
Sexsitesurfer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Porn land Posts: 3,157	So sub 5,000 but program before name still equals ass kiss? I need to polish up on my board manners. Sorry platinumfeedspaul, no disrespect intended. You also rock, and I agree! __________________ Paul DDF Productions Marketing manager Skype: Marketing.DDF ICQ: 316302313 Cell: +36 30 732 6076 [email protected]

03-22-2006, 08:58 AM	#24
Lord Nelson So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 715	looks like someone needs a hug.

03-22-2006, 09:15 AM	#25
dig420 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 9,240	who the fuck cares about post count? Nobody except people with high post counts, and those are usually nobodies anyway. Juicy et al are GFY fabulous because they're funny, there are people with higher post counts who nobody pays any attention to. There are a lot of GFY posters who post outrageous or offensive shit in a desperate bid to get attention, and they get it. The problem with that is that people like me remember who these people are and go out of our way to NEVER do anything to help them succeed, in fact we'll fuck them over if we get the opportunity. It doesn't really pay to be a professional asshole.

03-22-2006, 09:22 AM	#26
ddfGandalf Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Budapest, Hungary Posts: 534	Sexsitesurfer, get back to work, will you?:p __________________

03-22-2006, 09:25 AM	#27
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	you forgot to tell them to post the GFY official mascot THE EMU

03-22-2006, 09:53 AM	#29
Ycaza Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: the 805 Posts: 4,290	funny shit man __________________ Caz Thrush Head Honcho [email protected] http://thrushtech.com ICQ: 304883574 do people still icq?

03-22-2006, 09:54 AM	#30
Young Bland for life Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 10,468	So making it on GFY = making it in the Adult webmaster world? highly doubt it. __________________ ★★★

03-22-2006, 09:56 AM	#31
Quagmire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Stinkin' up your bathroom Posts: 6,490	i'D HIT IT. Oh wait... wrong thread. __________________

03-22-2006, 09:59 AM	#32
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	Hahaha thats funny, I cant believe you wrote all that though

03-22-2006, 10:07 AM	#34
robfantasy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Medellin, Colombia Posts: 6,445	lol great post to start the morning haha __________________ Looking to speak w/ high volume nutra CPA affiliates or networks... msg me

03-22-2006, 10:08 AM	#35
Cyber Fucker Hmm Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: On an endless road around the world for rock and roll. Posts: 12,642	hehehe....

03-22-2006, 10:11 AM	#36
Platinumpimp Logos and such. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Kingdom of the Netherlands Posts: 10,214	That basically sums it up. __________________ I design logo's.

03-22-2006, 10:42 AM	#37
Rebecca Love Skinemax BQueen Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Las Vegas NV Posts: 2,145	I love you jimthefiend. May I blow you now? __________________ Kisses, Rebecca Love "Skinemax BQueen of Late-Nite" www.RebeccaLove.com

03-22-2006, 10:55 AM	#38
TheWylders Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Memphis, TN Posts: 623	Good stuff!

03-22-2006, 11:46 AM	#40
loverboy When it rains, it pours Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 20,609	you crack me up dude, bookmarked!

03-22-2006, 11:54 AM	#42
KGB_dreams Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 24	Sig for sale. LOL

03-22-2006, 11:57 AM	#43
Platinum Mike Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Toronto Posts: 343	Great post...missed the first like this one so this one does the trick. __________________ Platinum MIke [email protected] ICQ: 271-246-266 Platinum Bucks Adult Rental Cash Platinum Feeds

03-22-2006, 12:06 PM	#44
MaddCaz Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,483	I'm sorry...that shit is absolutely hilarious. I can't stop frigging laughing because it's ALL SO TRUE!!!! __________________ BigCocks.com - MatureWomen.com - Tranny.com - DrunkGirls.com - TeenGirls.com - MonsterCock.com and many more... Click here to see them all!

03-22-2006, 12:13 PM	#45
Brujah Beer Money Baron Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: brujah / gmail Posts: 22,157	Jim, this is one of the best threads ever. __________________ Free Premium Domain Lists and Tools at Clickmojo.com For Sale: Obscenity.com

03-22-2006, 12:23 PM	#46
Ramos Custom User Title Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 11,927	lmfao............. __________________ blewit.com - Performance & Pleasure Training For Men.

03-22-2006, 12:28 PM	#47
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	scribbling this gold down __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880