If Microsoft was Jewish... - GoFuckYourself.com

drunken ninja · 03-05-2006, 03:45 PM

(#12) If Microsoft were Jewish:
1. Your PC would shut down automatically on Friday evenings.
2. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go. I'm not getting any younger." button.
3. RETRY would be replaced with "You vant I should try again?"
4. When disconnecting external devices from your PC, instructions would say "Remove from your PC's tuchis the cable ".
5. Your CD player would be labelled "Nu, so play my music already.".
6. You would hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
7. SCANDISK prompts you with, "You vant I should fix?" message.
8. When your PC is mult-tasking, you would occasionally hear an "Oy Gevult."
9. Manischewitz would advertise that its "monitor cleaning solution" gets rid of the "schmutz" on your screen.
10. After 20 minutes in an idle state, your PC would go "Schloffen."
11. All computer viruses would be cured with chicken soup.
12. After your computer dies, you would have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
13. Internet Explorer would have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
14. A screen saver for channukah will be "Flying Draidles".
15. High capacity DVB's (digital video bagels) would supercede CD-ROM's

MosesTheTool · 03-05-2006, 03:48 PM

Clever :D

sfera · 03-05-2006, 03:52 PM

where is the hate

drunken ninja · 03-05-2006, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drunken ninja

6. You would hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.

hey, that would be kind of cool

EdgeXXX · 03-05-2006, 03:53 PM

#3 made me laugh out loud

MosesTheTool · 03-05-2006, 03:53 PM

Quote:

where is the hate

this is all love my friend
keep the hate in a box where no one can see it

drunken ninja · 03-05-2006, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sfera

where is the hate

no hate here...I grew up around Jews...they're great people

kaktuz · 03-05-2006, 03:58 PM

not funny imo ;/

MosesTheTool · 03-05-2006, 04:01 PM

kaktuz
ze stam shtuyot, hem lo rotzim lehaaliv..

2HousePlague · 03-05-2006, 04:38 PM

The CEO would dress like this -- http://www.insearchofjesus.org/graph...nycolorslg.jpg --

Pornwolf · 03-05-2006, 04:41 PM

Schmutz on the screen! LOL

woj · 03-05-2006, 05:23 PM

I don't get it :-/

drunken ninja · 03-05-2006, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by woj

I don't get it :-/

It's just goofing on sterotypes, for example:

Quote:

Your CD player would be labelled "Nu, so play my music already.".

would be a classic thing a certain type of older jew would say.

PixeLs · 03-05-2006, 06:58 PM

Quote:

11. All computer viruses would be cured with chicken soup.

Cute list there dude.

KRL · 03-05-2006, 07:17 PM

tungsten · 03-05-2006, 07:18 PM

nice one

bary · 03-05-2006, 08:32 PM

03-05-2006, 03:53 PM	#5
EdgeXXX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Secretely plotting a hostile takeover Posts: 5,816	#3 made me laugh out loud __________________ . . . . I have a sig

03-05-2006, 03:58 PM	#8
kaktuz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dream Land Posts: 2,422	not funny imo ;/ __________________ EMAIL: admin [AT] kaktuz.com Need Loads of Traffic? Lets Make Business Today!

03-05-2006, 04:38 PM	#10
2HousePlague CURATOR Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: the attic Posts: 14,572	The CEO would dress like this -- http://www.insearchofjesus.org/graph...nycolorslg.jpg -- __________________ tada!

03-05-2006, 04:41 PM	#11
Pornwolf Drunk and Unruly Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 22,712	Schmutz on the screen! LOL __________________ I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches.

03-05-2006, 07:17 PM	#15
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	__________________ If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor from the leaders in the field at iWebmasters.com TO LOWER YOUR COSTS AND INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTION! * * * * * * * * * * * * Domains Adult News KRL's Newsletter Biz Tips Just Listed Domains

03-05-2006, 03:45 PM	#1
drunken ninja Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: 320970274 Posts: 717	If Microsoft was Jewish... (#12) If Microsoft were Jewish: 1. Your PC would shut down automatically on Friday evenings. 2. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go. I'm not getting any younger." button. 3. RETRY would be replaced with "You vant I should try again?" 4. When disconnecting external devices from your PC, instructions would say "Remove from your PC's tuchis the cable ". 5. Your CD player would be labelled "Nu, so play my music already.". 6. You would hear "Hava Nagila" during startup. 7. SCANDISK prompts you with, "You vant I should fix?" message. 8. When your PC is mult-tasking, you would occasionally hear an "Oy Gevult." 9. Manischewitz would advertise that its "monitor cleaning solution" gets rid of the "schmutz" on your screen. 10. After 20 minutes in an idle state, your PC would go "Schloffen." 11. All computer viruses would be cured with chicken soup. 12. After your computer dies, you would have to dispose of it within 24 hours. 13. Internet Explorer would have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner. 14. A screen saver for channukah will be "Flying Draidles". 15. High capacity DVB's (digital video bagels) would supercede CD-ROM's

03-05-2006, 03:48 PM	#2
MosesTheTool My name is Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 615	Clever :D

03-05-2006, 03:52 PM	#3
sfera Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: ICQ: 248877409 Posts: 8,597	where is the hate

03-05-2006, 04:01 PM	#9
MosesTheTool My name is Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 615	kaktuz ze stam shtuyot, hem lo rotzim lehaaliv..

03-05-2006, 05:23 PM	#12
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	I don't get it :-/ __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

03-05-2006, 07:18 PM	#16
tungsten Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 10,579	nice one __________________ VOYEUR /HOMEMADE, HENTAI / CARTOON, Reality, Amateur, Shemale, Hardcore, Cuckold, Celebrity, Retro/Vintage, ect...ALL OUR SITES >> Unbelievable Ratio \| High % of Rebills \| Bi-Monthly Payments (also to E-Passporte) Ton's of EXCLUSIVE Free content & FHG's \|=> GREAT REVENUE $$$ GUARANTEED!

03-05-2006, 08:32 PM	#17
bary Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 306	__________________ ICQ:568904030