If Microsoft was Jewish...

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  • drunken ninja
    Registered User
    • Mar 2006
    • 717

    #1

    If Microsoft was Jewish...

    (#12) If Microsoft were Jewish:
    1. Your PC would shut down automatically on Friday evenings.
    2. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go. I'm not getting any younger." button.
    3. RETRY would be replaced with "You vant I should try again?"
    4. When disconnecting external devices from your PC, instructions would say "Remove from your PC's tuchis the cable ".
    5. Your CD player would be labelled "Nu, so play my music already.".
    6. You would hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
    7. SCANDISK prompts you with, "You vant I should fix?" message.
    8. When your PC is mult-tasking, you would occasionally hear an "Oy Gevult."
    9. Manischewitz would advertise that its "monitor cleaning solution" gets rid of the "schmutz" on your screen.
    10. After 20 minutes in an idle state, your PC would go "Schloffen."
    11. All computer viruses would be cured with chicken soup.
    12. After your computer dies, you would have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
    13. Internet Explorer would have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
    14. A screen saver for channukah will be "Flying Draidles".
    15. High capacity DVB's (digital video bagels) would supercede CD-ROM's
  • MosesTheTool
    My name is
    • Jan 2006
    • 615

    #2
    Clever :D

    Comment

    • sfera
      Confirmed User
      • Aug 2005
      • 8597

      #3
      where is the hate

      Comment

      • drunken ninja
        Registered User
        • Mar 2006
        • 717

        #4
        Originally posted by drunken ninja
        6. You would hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
        hey, that would be kind of cool

        Comment

        • EdgeXXX
          Confirmed User
          • Oct 2005
          • 5816

          #5
          #3 made me laugh out loud
          .
          .
          .
          .

          I have a sig

          Comment

          • MosesTheTool
            My name is
            • Jan 2006
            • 615

            #6
            where is the hate
            this is all love my friend
            keep the hate in a box where no one can see it
            Last edited by MosesTheTool; 03-05-2006, 01:54 PM.

            Comment

            • drunken ninja
              Registered User
              • Mar 2006
              • 717

              #7
              Originally posted by sfera
              where is the hate
              no hate here...I grew up around Jews...they're great people

              Comment

              • kaktuz
                Confirmed User
                • Sep 2004
                • 2422

                #8
                not funny imo ;/
                EMAIL: admin [AT] kaktuz.com
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                Comment

                • MosesTheTool
                  My name is
                  • Jan 2006
                  • 615

                  #9
                  kaktuz
                  ze stam shtuyot, hem lo rotzim lehaaliv..

                  Comment

                  • 2HousePlague
                    CURATOR
                    • Jul 2004
                    • 14572

                    #10
                    The CEO would dress like this -- http://www.insearchofjesus.org/graph...nycolorslg.jpg --
                    tada!

                    Comment

                    • Pornwolf
                      Drunk and Unruly
                      • Jan 2002
                      • 22712

                      #11
                      Schmutz on the screen! LOL
                      I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade...

                      Webair, bitches.

                      Comment

                      • woj
                        <&(©¿©)&>
                        • Jul 2002
                        • 47880

                        #12
                        I don't get it :-/
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                        • drunken ninja
                          Registered User
                          • Mar 2006
                          • 717

                          #13
                          Originally posted by woj
                          I don't get it :-/
                          It's just goofing on sterotypes, for example:

                          Your CD player would be labelled "Nu, so play my music already.".
                          would be a classic thing a certain type of older jew would say.

                          Comment

                          • PixeLs
                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                            • Jul 2005
                            • 11922

                            #14
                            11. All computer viruses would be cured with chicken soup.
                            Cute list there dude.

                            Make money on any traffic.
                            Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

                            Comment

                            • KRL
                              Entrepreneur
                              • Oct 2002
                              • 31429

                              #15
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                              • tungsten
                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                • Mar 2004
                                • 10579

                                #16
                                nice one
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                                • bary
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Jan 2005
                                  • 306

                                  #17
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