Were you in the army? Share some dirty little secrets in this thread - GoFuckYourself.com

Antonio · 02-12-2006, 03:13 AM

Back then when I was in the army some folks thought that the best things to do with their dicks was to tattoo 'TAXI' on them or to make a cut in their dick's skin and insert a little ball made out of plexiglass.

Some guys had up to four balls under their dick's skin, the idea was that that drives women crazy, which of course is total bullshit but what do 19-20 year old guys know about sex...

How is this little operation done? Well since I witnessed it only once when a friend of mine decided to do that, this is what he did:

First he spent 3 or 4 days perfecting the plexiglass ball using sand paper until he got it to the desired shape and dimension.

Once that was done he had to make a cut in his skin, and because of the lack of better tools sharpened down spoon handle was used.

After the cut was made the little ball was inserted under the skin, and this is when the troubles began.

Three or four days later the little cut hadn't closed and the area was red, so the guy got scared that he might get some kind of infection, and we had to 'jump the fence' and go to a civilian doctor to get the ball removed.

.. your turn

Jakke PNG · 02-12-2006, 03:16 AM

I got off on eveningleave at 4pm. I started drinking immediately.
I puked the first time at 5:30pm. I continued drinking and got thrown out of 5 different bars. I ended up in a restaurant where there was a 'tattoo convention'. I got me a tattoo.. I went back to the barracks at 4am. I got woken up at 6am and puked on my squadron commanders pants.

Jakke PNG · 02-12-2006, 03:17 AM

.oh, and I was an MP/chauffeur thingy. Needless to say, it *was* my turn to drive the area commander that day..but they decided it wouldn't be smart.

Doctor Dre · 02-12-2006, 03:18 AM

A spoon ? you guys don't have knives in the army !?!

Jakke PNG · 02-12-2006, 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Dre

A spoon ? you guys don't have knives in the army !?!

We had sporks.

CyberHustler · 02-12-2006, 03:22 AM

Im in the army now... FORT DRUM!! 10TH MOUNTAIN!!

The BIGGEST dirty little secret that I know is that we have been continuously pumping IRAQ and AFGHANISTAN with DEPLETED URANIUM...

Thats not the good part though... It gets BETTER!

DEPLETED URANIUM IS A WEAPON OF MASS-DESTRUCTION!! AND NOT ONLY DOES IT KILL THEM AND DEFORM THEIR FUTURE KIDS FOR GENERATIONS... IT ALSO KILLS US! THE SOLDIERS..."GULF-WAR SYNDROME" AND CONTAMINATES OUR SPERM TO MUTATE OUR KIDS FOR GENERATIONS TO COME ALSO!!! ...And the icing on the cake is that !!NOBODY CARES!!

nofx · 02-12-2006, 03:22 AM

one time back in September 2001, I was on duty at this airport and all these funny looking arabic dude were all standing around this one plane...i dunno what was going on so i just found a dark spot on the side of the building and went to sleep...I got woken up by my leader yelling something about the plane I was supposed to be watching and a building...

8 Characters · 02-12-2006, 03:25 AM

I wasn't in the army, but you can still count on me contributing to the thread!

Antonio · 02-12-2006, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Dre

A spoon ? you guys don't have knives in the army !?!

This is how its done, you hold the sharp end of the spoon handle against your skin and you hit the other end hard, that way the cut is made in a split second.

If you use a knife in the same way there's a very good chance that you'll make a huge cut since the knife's blade's far too wide. Your other option is to hold your dick's skin with one hand and start slicing with the knife but somehow I don't think that'd be too pleasant ;)

CyberHustler · 02-12-2006, 03:32 AM

Man... dont be giving people instructions on how to cut they own PeePee, you sure it was your friend?.. You either did it to yourself or you kinda gay for lookin at your friends dick like that. No disrespect

Antonio · 02-12-2006, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuySexProducts

Man... dont be giving people instructions on how to cut they own PeePee, you sure it was your friend?.. You either did it to yourself or you kinda gay for lookin at your friends dick like that. No disrespect

it was my friend, and he did it in front of everybody (about 10-15 guys I guess), so no it wasn't a private show ;)

Lev · 02-12-2006, 03:47 AM

I heard in the Russian army, guys take rats, knock out their teeth and put their dicks into their mouths and masturbate like that, so they don't turn gay and fuck each other

nofx · 02-12-2006, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lev

I heard in the Russian army, guys take rats, knock out their teeth and put their dicks into their mouths and masturbate like that, so they don't turn gay and fuck each other

ROFL
bahahhahhahahhah wtfux

natures fleshlights ;]

xclusive · 02-12-2006, 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonio

it was my friend, and he did it in front of everybody (about 10-15 guys I guess), so no it wasn't a private show ;)

Glad it wasn't a one on one gay thing and that it was more of a gay orgy. Makes me feel better

j/k

xclusive · 02-12-2006, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lev

I heard in the Russian army, guys take rats, knock out their teeth and put their dicks into their mouths and masturbate like that, so they don't turn gay and fuck each other

That can't be to healthy...

Freaky_Akula · 02-12-2006, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lev

I heard in the Russian army, guys take rats, knock out their teeth and put their dicks into their mouths and masturbate like that, so they don't turn gay and fuck each other

sounds like fun

Snake Doctor · 02-12-2006, 07:46 AM

This one time, at bandcamp, we cut our dicks with spoons and put plexiglass in them......and they got infected......and it was really funny.

je_rome · 02-13-2006, 02:34 AM

never been a member of the army, but my grandpa used to be one of them. turned out that he has another family in the province where he was previously deployed.

02-12-2006, 03:13 AM	#1
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	Were you in the army? Share some dirty little secrets in this thread Back then when I was in the army some folks thought that the best things to do with their dicks was to tattoo 'TAXI' on them or to make a cut in their dick's skin and insert a little ball made out of plexiglass. Some guys had up to four balls under their dick's skin, the idea was that that drives women crazy, which of course is total bullshit but what do 19-20 year old guys know about sex... How is this little operation done? Well since I witnessed it only once when a friend of mine decided to do that, this is what he did: First he spent 3 or 4 days perfecting the plexiglass ball using sand paper until he got it to the desired shape and dimension. Once that was done he had to make a cut in his skin, and because of the lack of better tools sharpened down spoon handle was used. After the cut was made the little ball was inserted under the skin, and this is when the troubles began. Three or four days later the little cut hadn't closed and the area was red, so the guy got scared that he might get some kind of infection, and we had to 'jump the fence' and go to a civilian doctor to get the ball removed. .. your turn

02-12-2006, 03:16 AM	#2
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	I got off on eveningleave at 4pm. I started drinking immediately. I puked the first time at 5:30pm. I continued drinking and got thrown out of 5 different bars. I ended up in a restaurant where there was a 'tattoo convention'. I got me a tattoo.. I went back to the barracks at 4am. I got woken up at 6am and puked on my squadron commanders pants. __________________ ..and I'm off.

02-12-2006, 03:17 AM	#3
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	.oh, and I was an MP/chauffeur thingy. Needless to say, it was my turn to drive the area commander that day..but they decided it wouldn't be smart. __________________ ..and I'm off.

02-12-2006, 03:22 AM	#6
CyberHustler Masterbaiter Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,983	Im in the army now... FORT DRUM!! 10TH MOUNTAIN!! The BIGGEST dirty little secret that I know is that we have been continuously pumping IRAQ and AFGHANISTAN with DEPLETED URANIUM... Thats not the good part though... It gets BETTER! DEPLETED URANIUM IS A WEAPON OF MASS-DESTRUCTION!! AND NOT ONLY DOES IT KILL THEM AND DEFORM THEIR FUTURE KIDS FOR GENERATIONS... IT ALSO KILLS US! THE SOLDIERS..."GULF-WAR SYNDROME" AND CONTAMINATES OUR SPERM TO MUTATE OUR KIDS FOR GENERATIONS TO COME ALSO!!! ...And the icing on the cake is that !!NOBODY CARES!! __________________ “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

02-12-2006, 03:22 AM	#7
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	one time back in September 2001, I was on duty at this airport and all these funny looking arabic dude were all standing around this one plane...i dunno what was going on so i just found a dark spot on the side of the building and went to sleep...I got woken up by my leader yelling something about the plane I was supposed to be watching and a building... __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

02-12-2006, 03:25 AM	#8
8 Characters So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: This month's character: Dirty Franck Posts: 2,336	I wasn't in the army, but you can still count on me contributing to the thread!

02-12-2006, 03:32 AM	#10
CyberHustler Masterbaiter Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,983	Man... dont be giving people instructions on how to cut they own PeePee, you sure it was your friend?.. You either did it to yourself or you kinda gay for lookin at your friends dick like that. No disrespect __________________ “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

02-12-2006, 03:47 AM	#12
Lev Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,545	I heard in the Russian army, guys take rats, knock out their teeth and put their dicks into their mouths and masturbate like that, so they don't turn gay and fuck each other

02-12-2006, 07:46 AM	#17
Snake Doctor I'm Lenny2 Bitch Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: On top of my soapbox Posts: 13,449	This one time, at bandcamp, we cut our dicks with spoons and put plexiglass in them......and they got infected......and it was really funny.

02-13-2006, 02:34 AM	#18
je_rome Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,846	never been a member of the army, but my grandpa used to be one of them. turned out that he has another family in the province where he was previously deployed. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Join KlikRevenue.com Today!