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create a jack bauer line create a jack bauer line
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Old 02-05-2006, 07:04 PM   #1
TDF
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create a jack bauer line
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".


If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.



Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.


If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.


When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.


Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.


Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's ****ing beef.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ****ing hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer. 193

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
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Old 02-05-2006, 07:21 PM   #2
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When Jack Bauer pisses in the wind, the wind changes direction.
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Old 02-05-2006, 07:24 PM   #3
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Old 02-05-2006, 07:43 PM   #4
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Chuck Norris < Jack Bauer.
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Old 02-05-2006, 07:47 PM   #5
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Chuck Norris < Jack Bauer.
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Old 02-05-2006, 07:47 PM   #6
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jack bauer/chuck norris = jackie chan
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Old 02-05-2006, 07:57 PM   #7
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When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?

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Old 02-05-2006, 08:02 PM   #8
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If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

oh my gawd we're cracking up over here
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Old 02-05-2006, 08:06 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erehwon
When Jack Bauer pisses in the wind, the wind changes direction.

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Old 02-05-2006, 08:13 PM   #10
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If Jack Bauer was God, he would have infiltrated Hell and assassinated the Devil with a paperclip and a piece of his own hair...
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Old 02-05-2006, 08:59 PM   #11
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it would be really bad for the masses
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Old 02-05-2006, 09:02 PM   #12
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ive still never seen an episode of 24
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Old 02-05-2006, 09:08 PM   #13
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Who's your daddy? Jack Bauer.
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Old 02-05-2006, 09:11 PM   #14
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When Jack Bauer wants it, and he wants it NOW!...

(He said that at least 100 times on the show.... I want it...and I want it NOW!.... I need it... and I need it NOW!...)...

haha great serie though
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Old 02-05-2006, 09:37 PM   #15
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the Jack Bauer fanaticism is going off the scale here.
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Old 02-05-2006, 10:04 PM   #16
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Jack Bauer never eats because he has evolved his body to absorb its energy from torture beatings and the constant stream of near miss explosions around him.
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Old 02-06-2006, 02:02 AM   #17
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Enough reason for you guys not o miss 24!
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Old 02-06-2006, 10:59 PM   #18
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We pay jack bauer's cell phone bill
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