Great Joke...I have to Share... - GoFuckYourself.com

Semi-Retired-Dave · 01-28-2006, 07:43 PM

Subject: Wal-Mart Diagnostic Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,

"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen you don't have to spend that kind of money." Mike replies,

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars.....a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for a urine sample. ! He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and waits for the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softner. (Aisle 9)

2. You dog has ringworm. Bath him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart

baddog · 01-28-2006, 07:46 PM

hahahahahahahaha

JoeMeca · 01-28-2006, 07:57 PM

rofl funny shit

Spunky · 01-28-2006, 07:59 PM

That was kinda funny

Doctor Dre · 01-28-2006, 08:09 PM

lol
I expected something like that but that was funny

tony286 · 01-28-2006, 08:10 PM

very funny good one

Ice · 01-28-2006, 08:15 PM

sickbeatz · 01-28-2006, 08:21 PM

that made me laugh

Semi-Retired-Dave · 01-28-2006, 11:40 PM

Thanks, I thought so too.

Fah King · 01-28-2006, 11:43 PM

Hope they dont get a computer like that where I work lol

reynold · 01-30-2006, 05:33 AM

such a long narrative but it is worth a laugh!

RayBonga · 01-30-2006, 05:35 AM

I had heard that one before, still got a laugh

01-28-2006, 07:43 PM	#1
Semi-Retired-Dave Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: LA Posts: 11,190	Great Joke...I have to Share... Subject: Wal-Mart Diagnostic Computer One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen you don't have to spend that kind of money." Mike replies, "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars.....a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for a urine sample. ! He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and waits for the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softner. (Aisle 9) 2. You dog has ringworm. Bath him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart __________________ Support a Good Cause

01-28-2006, 07:59 PM	#4
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	That was kinda funny __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

01-28-2006, 08:15 PM	#7
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	__________________ icq 1904905

01-28-2006, 08:21 PM	#8
sickbeatz The Hustler Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,993	that made me laugh __________________ GalleryFeeder.com

01-28-2006, 11:40 PM	#9
Semi-Retired-Dave Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: LA Posts: 11,190	Thanks, I thought so too. __________________ Support a Good Cause

01-28-2006, 07:46 PM	#2
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	hahahahahahahaha

01-28-2006, 07:57 PM	#3
JoeMeca So Fucking Banned Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Juicy's House! Icq: 265529404 Posts: 2,266	rofl funny shit

01-28-2006, 08:10 PM	#6
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	very funny good one

01-28-2006, 11:43 PM	#10
Fah King Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: MTL Posts: 676	Hope they dont get a computer like that where I work lol __________________ "I use SplitInfinity Web Hosting and VOIP services" and its Great!

01-30-2006, 05:33 AM	#11
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	such a long narrative but it is worth a laugh!

01-30-2006, 05:35 AM	#12
RayBonga too cool for highschool Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: East side, West side, Worldwide! Posts: 12,164	I had heard that one before, still got a laugh