playaing with telemarketers

[playa]

lately i been getting bombarded with telemarketing calls,,, seems like just hanging up is too boring,,, what do ya tell them?

[Amputate Your Head]

Originally posted by playa
what do ya tell them?

tell 'em "Go Fuck Yourself!"

[Brad Mitchell]

lol

I hate telemarketers.

Quickly pretend like you're interested and waste as much time as possible by having them follow up with a proposal that you're going to toss.

I do that everytime someone tries to sell me bandwidth or hosting.

Brad

[Nedder]

just keep answering their questions with "Ding Dong"

ala JerkyBoyz, works like a champ.

Nz

[-=HOAX=-]

I like to pull a Slingblade or a Gilbert Grape impression....



something along these lines....

http://www.freakfarm.com/media/media...dfuckyou2W.wav

[[Labret]]

I NEVER answer the phone if it says unknown name / unknown number on the caller id.

[playa]

Originally posted by Nedder
just keep answering their questions with "Ding Dong"

ala JerkyBoyz, works like a champ.

Nz

nice one,,,,

[Lev]

Telemarketers

[421Fill]

tell 'em you're busy now, but if they just give you their home number you will gladly call 'em back to discuss business. Not my idea, but I have done it, and it is kinda funny. ;)

[Brad Mitchell]

Oh shit I like Turbo's idea, that's funny! lol

Brad

[playa]

one time i had a stuttering telemarketer,,,,, i should of said something,,hehe

[hyper]

i simply tell them not interested

when they persist

i ask them what part of not interested didn't they understand

usually takes care of it.

[FlyingIguana]

keep them on the phone for an hour. keep saying u'll sign up or whatever then when they start to close, ask some stupid question. rinse and repeat until they hang up on u. hopefully u make them miss their break or something.

if they're on commission they'll get super pissed

[FlyingIguana]

Originally posted by turbo
tell 'em you're busy now, but if they just give you their home number you will gladly call 'em back to discuss business. Not my idea, but I have done it, and it is kinda funny. ;)

i've given my number to a smartass who watched that seinfeld show. fucker didn't call and i got in shit from my supervisor. if another person tried this i was gonna give my supervisor's phone number, but it never happened.

[421Fill]

what I hate the most is when they try to pretend like they know you...
"Hey Derek. How've you been?"
Uhh, who is this?
"It's me Mark."
Uhh, I don't know anyone named Mark, now fuck off and die!
"But wait, I just wanted to tell you about..."
CLICK

[421Fill]

Originally posted by FlyingIguana


i've given my number to a smartass who watched that seinfeld show. fucker didn't call and i got in shit from my supervisor. if another person tried this i was gonna give my supervisor's phone number, but it never happened.

so you were/are a telemarketer, then?

[Amputate Your Head]

as soon as they start in on their sales pitch, you start your own.... sell them something.

[FlyingIguana]

yup, i was.

u can always try to sell them dildos or ky jelly. for some reason they never find it funny. if someone tried to sell me a dildo when i was a telemarketer i'd fall on the floor laughing.

[Dreamman010]

another possibility is to tell "how would you feel if somebody called and bothered you during your free time/weekend ?"

never tried it, but I would like to.

[SleazyDream]

ask em if there're naked and horny. I'm always nice but I try my best to make them hang up in disgust. eg - come onto a guy, breath heavy and pretend to be wacking off while talkign to a girl, etc.....

[Lev]

as soon as they start in on their sales pitch, you start your own.... sell them something.

Thats the smartest reply I herd

Yeah sell porn to them

[proffitmaster]

When they ask you:"How are you doing" start crying about all you problems and do it non stop untill they hang up on you

[Corona]

I'm so glad you called.

Jehovah told me that you would be calling soon.

If you have an hour or two I would like to talk to you about your spiritual needs.


That usually does it.

[Pornwolf]

I normally bust their balls harder than anyone except maybe the Sin Talk dude.

If they are selling something like At&t long distance for 5 cents a minute Ill normally say "5 cents! I get my long distance for 1.9 cents a minute! You can't beat that! Awwww Dude! C'mon! You are the mighty At&t! You have to be able to beat that! Look on your list, you gotta have a plan that can match that! No?!? Then call your manager, maybe they know something that might be competitive. No!?! Aww man! Then make sure I am never on that list again unless you can beat 1.9 cents."

Normally they end up very interested in the 'company' I just made up so they can sign up themselves!


Believe it or not, that technique worked a couple of times. I actually got 4 cents a minute from a company a week after they offered a 7 cent a minute promotion!

[Dreamman010]

Originally posted by Corona
I'm so glad you called.

Jehovah told me that you would be calling soon.

If you have an hour or two I would like to talk to you about your spiritual needs.


That usually does it.

Jehovah ? lol

[volante]

The moment you realise you're talking to a telemarketer stop them and ask them thier name, which company they work for, and the address of the company. When/If they have told you, say that they are welcome to continue with their sales pitch but that you are now recording this conversation, your time is charged at $50 per minute or part thereof, with no guarantees of a sale, and that any continued conversation from them will be taken as acceptance of these terms. Then ask them to confirm the name, address etc they have just given you before allowing them to continue.

I've used this several times now, and the normal response is "click...brrrrr" or "are you serious?" to which I answer "yes".

I've never had anyone continue. Shame really, I wanna see what happens if I try billing them for my time

[HeadPimp]

Firstly I think it is a great scam that the telephone companies now sell us services and tools to weed out phone calls we get from their lines and lists. I have stopped taking calls from 4-9 at night and if I do pick up the phone there had better be someone there to say hello back, not that nice little pause while it routes you to an salesperson.
I think though I am going to start sending them to my link site and try and get some traffic that way! Gonna send them to ReverendPoon.com, that ought to be fun. Loved it Monday when we were shooting pics and some called. I'm trying to be polite and the model yells 'tell them we are shooting a porno and we are busy!'

[^R3K^]

I wish I recorded my adventures.. if people around here get telemarketers they give them my number it has become aggravating at times but I always have fun.. here are r3k's tips to having fun with telemarketers:

1) when it is a phone company, tell them you have hi-jacked you local Telco box rerouted all your neighbors lines to your own switchboard.. tell them you do not appreciate the competition calling and harassing your clients.. or ask them if they have a group package for 300+ lines..

2) if it is long distance it is always fun to tell them that you do not have a phone. You can argue for half an hour till they give up. " I'm telling you I DONT have a phone.. why would I want long distance!"

3) Normal tele-marker training tells them if a man answers ask for the man of the house, if a female answers ask for the female of the house.. when they do this if you?re a man say no when they ask for the female tell them their speaking to them.. when they say something about sounding like a man, threaten to sue for emotional pain.. and tell them a story about how it always happened and you have won 12 cases, and you will see that insensitive bastard in court!.

4) I love when people call me about a burglar alarm.. I break out in my old man voice and tell them how I wish they would have called 2 weeks earlier. because my damn son was on that crack stuff and kept breaking in to steal my shit.. then they get interested. and they try to sell you, tell them you don?t need it now then get an angry tone and say, " lets just say he wont break in anywhere else and that your basement now stinks, sticks like hell its self!!!"

5) I had one company call me and offered me a $100 toy-R-us gift certificate to sign up.. well they kept calling no matter what I said to them.. so whenever they said Toys-R... I would say, "TOYS!! like sex toys? do you like sex toys? I bet your one of those double-headed dildo type girls... you like it in your ass don?t you? I have something for you to put in your ass!! ill take my wooden leg off and ill lube it up and stick it in you ass baby!" that ended that call.. I guess they figured they would have a man call and I wouldn?t do them like that.. I did the exact fucking thing with him.. he laughed his ass of but hung up..

6) if they call about selling you one of those new boxes that stops tele-marketers ( and they do, I have had 5 of them in the last couple of days, remember when my friends get calls they give them my number) Bitch them out and say they are sell outs, because you do tele-marketing to and there hurting the industry.. give them the biggest cussing of their lives.

These are just a few of my tactics.. I might start recording them, I know everyone around here wants me to.. Hope you enjoy them and use them all the time.

[Gemini]

Easier to just look at the caller ID and forget aboudet! Let em leave voicemail. And delete it if they do.

[vegasdude]

Originally posted by [Labret]
I NEVER answer the phone if it says unknown name / unknown number on the caller id.

me2!!!!!!!!!!

[Pornwolf]

R3K, you are definitely in the running for the Frank Rizzo award for 2002!

[playa]

Originally posted by Gemini
Easier to just look at the caller ID and forget aboudet! Let em leave voicemail. And delete it if they do.

just trying to have some fun,,, its really funny making the telemarketer hang up on you,,,hehe

that is so funny