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^R3K^ · 04-04-2002, 01:15 AM

I wish I recorded my adventures.. if people around here get telemarketers they give them my number it has become aggravating at times but I always have fun.. here are r3k's tips to having fun with telemarketers:

1) when it is a phone company, tell them you have hi-jacked you local Telco box rerouted all your neighbors lines to your own switchboard.. tell them you do not appreciate the competition calling and harassing your clients.. or ask them if they have a group package for 300+ lines..

2) if it is long distance it is always fun to tell them that you do not have a phone. You can argue for half an hour till they give up. " I'm telling you I DONT have a phone.. why would I want long distance!"

3) Normal tele-marker training tells them if a man answers ask for the man of the house, if a female answers ask for the female of the house.. when they do this if you?re a man say no when they ask for the female tell them their speaking to them.. when they say something about sounding like a man, threaten to sue for emotional pain.. and tell them a story about how it always happened and you have won 12 cases, and you will see that insensitive bastard in court!.

4) I love when people call me about a burglar alarm.. I break out in my old man voice and tell them how I wish they would have called 2 weeks earlier. because my damn son was on that crack stuff and kept breaking in to steal my shit.. then they get interested. and they try to sell you, tell them you don?t need it now then get an angry tone and say, " lets just say he wont break in anywhere else and that your basement now stinks, sticks like hell its self!!!"

5) I had one company call me and offered me a $100 toy-R-us gift certificate to sign up.. well they kept calling no matter what I said to them.. so whenever they said Toys-R... I would say, "TOYS!! like sex toys? do you like sex toys? I bet your one of those double-headed dildo type girls... you like it in your ass don?t you? I have something for you to put in your ass!! ill take my wooden leg off and ill lube it up and stick it in you ass baby!" that ended that call.. I guess they figured they would have a man call and I wouldn?t do them like that.. I did the exact fucking thing with him.. he laughed his ass of but hung up..

6) if they call about selling you one of those new boxes that stops tele-marketers ( and they do, I have had 5 of them in the last couple of days, remember when my friends get calls they give them my number) Bitch them out and say they are sell outs, because you do tele-marketing to and there hurting the industry.. give them the biggest cussing of their lives.

These are just a few of my tactics.. I might start recording them, I know everyone around here wants me to.. Hope you enjoy them and use them all the time.

04-04-2002, 01:15 AM
^R3K^ Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Posts: 2,815	I wish I recorded my adventures.. if people around here get telemarketers they give them my number it has become aggravating at times but I always have fun.. here are r3k's tips to having fun with telemarketers: 1) when it is a phone company, tell them you have hi-jacked you local Telco box rerouted all your neighbors lines to your own switchboard.. tell them you do not appreciate the competition calling and harassing your clients.. or ask them if they have a group package for 300+ lines.. 2) if it is long distance it is always fun to tell them that you do not have a phone. You can argue for half an hour till they give up. " I'm telling you I DONT have a phone.. why would I want long distance!" 3) Normal tele-marker training tells them if a man answers ask for the man of the house, if a female answers ask for the female of the house.. when they do this if you?re a man say no when they ask for the female tell them their speaking to them.. when they say something about sounding like a man, threaten to sue for emotional pain.. and tell them a story about how it always happened and you have won 12 cases, and you will see that insensitive bastard in court!. 4) I love when people call me about a burglar alarm.. I break out in my old man voice and tell them how I wish they would have called 2 weeks earlier. because my damn son was on that crack stuff and kept breaking in to steal my shit.. then they get interested. and they try to sell you, tell them you don?t need it now then get an angry tone and say, " lets just say he wont break in anywhere else and that your basement now stinks, sticks like hell its self!!!" 5) I had one company call me and offered me a $100 toy-R-us gift certificate to sign up.. well they kept calling no matter what I said to them.. so whenever they said Toys-R... I would say, "TOYS!! like sex toys? do you like sex toys? I bet your one of those double-headed dildo type girls... you like it in your ass don?t you? I have something for you to put in your ass!! ill take my wooden leg off and ill lube it up and stick it in you ass baby!" that ended that call.. I guess they figured they would have a man call and I wouldn?t do them like that.. I did the exact fucking thing with him.. he laughed his ass of but hung up.. 6) if they call about selling you one of those new boxes that stops tele-marketers ( and they do, I have had 5 of them in the last couple of days, remember when my friends get calls they give them my number) Bitch them out and say they are sell outs, because you do tele-marketing to and there hurting the industry.. give them the biggest cussing of their lives. These are just a few of my tactics.. I might start recording them, I know everyone around here wants me to.. Hope you enjoy them and use them all the time.