Letters to Santa - GoFuckYourself.com

EroticySteve · 12-13-2005, 03:58 PM

Standard discalaimer:

This is not new, I'm sure you've read it before, but it's a good read each and every year.

It's funny, I don't care who you are.

Git R Done

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give
them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas,
where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table.
Santa
P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.
"Long Dong" Claus

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,
like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

BigRod · 12-13-2005, 04:05 PM

Every year I see it, every year it cracks me up ....Love the last one!!!

reynold · 12-13-2005, 06:43 PM

I think he's just bored.. I hope I'll still finish my 10th request before christmas..

FreakinWebmaster · 12-13-2005, 06:45 PM

I love that Santa!

I hope he gives me a new laptop

Marshal · 12-13-2005, 09:26 PM

I hope too! :D

PixeLs · 12-14-2005, 12:44 AM

Looks like he turned to the dark side as well..

Bluewire Ross · 12-14-2005, 12:47 AM

Santa goes evil...watch out kids!

12-13-2005, 03:58 PM	#1
EroticySteve Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Sunshine State Posts: 4,365	Letters to Santa Standard discalaimer: This is not new, I'm sure you've read it before, but it's a good read each and every year. It's funny, I don't care who you are. Git R Done Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Santa P.S. Tell your mom she got the part. "Long Dong" Claus Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. Santa Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa __________________ You deserve to make more money. I'll help you do that. Our affiliates earn up to $3/email or $107/sale email steve <at> eroticy.com - icq 290153464

12-13-2005, 04:05 PM	#2
BigRod Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 3,685	Every year I see it, every year it cracks me up ....Love the last one!!! __________________ Rod Macdonald Mainstream Ad Agency Owner ICQ: 607306

12-13-2005, 09:26 PM	#5
Marshal Biz Dev and SEO Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 15,180	I hope too! :D __________________ --- Busy ranking websites on Google...

12-14-2005, 12:44 AM	#6
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	Looks like he turned to the dark side as well.. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

12-14-2005, 12:47 AM	#7
Bluewire Ross Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 2,169	Santa goes evil...watch out kids! __________________ Cam2CamLive! Feature Rich Flash-Based Cam Site Script MAINSTREAM WEB DESIGN CUSTOM ILLUSTRATIONS [email protected] ICQ:259-582-973YahooIM: ross_collado1975

12-13-2005, 06:43 PM	#3
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	I think he's just bored.. I hope I'll still finish my 10th request before christmas..

12-13-2005, 06:45 PM	#4
FreakinWebmaster Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Mile High State Posts: 935	I love that Santa! I hope he gives me a new laptop