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11-07-2005, 12:38 PM
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Quagmire quotes "Giggity giggity!"
Post your favorite quotes from Family Guy's Glen Quagmire
Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did. Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on. (They all drink.) Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife. (Quagmire and Cleveland drink.) Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom. (Only Quagmire drinks.) ****About 33 drinks later**** Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence. Quagmire: Oh God. (Quagmire takes a drink.) Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself. Quagmire: Oh come on! (Quagmire drinks again.) Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics. Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
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Abra-cadabra! |
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11-07-2005, 12:39 PM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks. Auctioner: She had nine STDs. Quagmire: Forty-five bucks. Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself. Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
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Abra-cadabra! |
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11-07-2005, 12:40 PM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson. Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy. Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire." Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire. Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. [Pause] Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.
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Abra-cadabra! |
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11-07-2005, 12:41 PM
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#4 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period! Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning! Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?! Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep! Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea! Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
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Abra-cadabra! |
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11-07-2005, 12:44 PM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Quagmire on a date with the Bachelorette, in his mother's trailer. A mangy cat whines.
Quagmire's mom: (shouting off-screen): Glenn, would you feed mittens? Quagmire: Mittens has food in his bowl! Quagmires' mom: That's old food! (cat meows) Quagmire: Mittens, shut up! Mittens shut up! Quagmire's Mom: Don't you talk to Mittens that way. Mittens is a member of this family. Quagmire: Mom if you want this three-way to happen, you're gonna have to change your tone.
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Abra-cadabra! |
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11-07-2005, 12:45 PM
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#6 |
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No Refunds Issued.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 14,809
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Quagmire is awesome.
"Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you? Connie: 16. Quagmire: 18? You're first. Connie: Mom! Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!" |
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11-07-2005, 12:46 PM
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#7 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Icy Hellish Tundra
Posts: 2,534
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Hahahahaha......Peter's good, but the ultimate genius behind "Family Guy" is Stewie....
ahhhh Stewie....my football-head shaped, alter-ego 
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ICQ: 114549321 |
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11-07-2005, 12:46 PM
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#8 |
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BACON BACON BACON
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet
Posts: 35,462
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Hey Meg..you 18 yet?
allllright |
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11-07-2005, 12:47 PM
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#9 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: scottsdale
Posts: 7,880
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dear diary
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If you need a good company for check writing services, then check out checkissuing, and for webhosting, check out Phoenix NAP |
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11-07-2005, 12:49 PM
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#10 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Vast Desert Wasteland aka Phoenix Arizona
Posts: 2,372
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Funny stuff!!!
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11-07-2005, 12:50 PM
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#11 |
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No Refunds Issued.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 14,809
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Quagmire: "Hey there little lady. Why don't you turn around and show me your Lower East Side."
Woman (man voice) : "Sure." Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off! Wait a minute...pre-op or post-op?" Woman: "Pre-op." Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off!" |
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11-07-2005, 12:52 PM
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#12 |
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No Refunds Issued.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 14,809
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(Quagmire to girl)
Quagmire: You must be a parking ticket, cuz you got fine written all over you. |
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11-07-2005, 12:53 PM
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#13 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lightspeedworld
Posts: 7,940
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Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.
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Abra-cadabra! |
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11-07-2005, 12:54 PM
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#14 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brasil
Posts: 15,778
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thx for sharing!!!
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11-07-2005, 01:01 PM
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#15 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: th3 1nt3Rwebz
Posts: 3,153
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Giggiddy Giggidy
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"Unhappy with the riches 'cause you're piss poor morally." Trade traffic? - Highdef Blog |
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11-07-2005, 01:09 PM
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#16 |
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I can change this!!!!!
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 18,972
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LOL that guy is a riot.
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11-07-2005, 01:12 PM
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#17 |
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I'd rather be on my boat.
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 9,748
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Joe Swanson It looks like that's it, except for the flight crew.
Quagmire Hey, Brian. What's with the Johnny Law routine? Joe Swanson Say hello to our newest narc. He's a natural. Quagmire Yeah? How good are you? Brian Griffin You're back from Manila. You had lumpia for dinner. Brian Griffin Then you made love to two Filipino women and a man. Quagmire You mean three Filipino women! Quagmire No!
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Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber |
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11-07-2005, 01:13 PM
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#18 |
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I'd rather be on my boat.
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 9,748
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and the always classic
Quagmire Hey, Meg. 18 yet? Meg Griffin No.
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Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber |
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11-07-2005, 01:15 PM
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#19 |
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Meow Meow!!!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 10,226
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milk milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made!
I love that one, Family guy Rocks!
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Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected] |
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11-07-2005, 01:24 PM
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#20 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: South Florida
Posts: 5,086
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I never actually read what he said... that's some funny shit
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11-07-2005, 02:10 PM
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#21 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 19,631
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well helloooo there lips, legs, breasts and ass
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you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day.. |
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11-07-2005, 02:16 PM
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#22 |
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Vidi Vici Veni
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 6,308
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Stewie: "Hey, we need to get back on the road."
Quagmire (walking into cheap hotel room with a prostitute: "Hold on there little buddy, I'll be finished in a jiff." Stewie: "Well fine, if I've got a few minutes I guess I'll pump the chemical toilet...it looks like you'll be doing the same." Stewie's my brother from another Mother... |
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11-07-2005, 02:17 PM
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#23 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Montreal
Posts: 1,569
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heh, that show is great..
but this new season, they've tried to be too shocking... I still love it.. |
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11-07-2005, 02:30 PM
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#24 |
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Vidi Vici Veni
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 6,308
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I couldn't help myself -
(On a reality TV show) Brooke: Quagmire, will you accept this rose? Quagmire: Really? After I drugged you and had sex with your unconscious body? Brooke: What? Quagmire: Yes. Stewie: Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know. A pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that. Chris: Hey little dude, how about some ice cream? Stewie: Yes I could go for a frozen treat right about now. But no sprinkles. And for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you. Stewie (speaking to house servants): You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall Street Journal. You two, fight to the death. Chris: Hey, dad, look! I covered my back with honey and now the ants are taking me home. Peter: He does the same thing at home with Velveeta and cockroaches. If you turn the light on really fast they slam him right into the fridge. Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway? Chris: Dad, can you help me with my math homework? Peter: Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby. Stewie: What did you just say? Lois: Stewie, stop fussing. Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch. Lois: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these new sheets, huh? Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl. Lois: Hehehe...that's me. Peter: You dirty hustler. Lois: Hehehehe... Peter: You filthy, stinky prostitute. Lois: Aha, ok I get it... Peter: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking whore. Lois: Alright, that's enough! |
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11-07-2005, 02:31 PM
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#25 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Lost in the mountains
Posts: 2,088
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Quagmire (running through mall and accidentally into the camera room): Where am I, am I dead?
Security Guard: No, this is where we monitor all the dressing rooms in the mall so we can keep an eye out for shoplifters. (Woman on Monitor has heart attack) Quagmire: Oh my God! That one's having a heart attack! (Runs to womans dressing room.) Quagmire: (Rubs womans chest and breathes in her mouth. Woman becomes conscious.) Woman#2: That was amazing! Woman#3: You saved her life! Woman#4: Thank God you know CPR! Quagmire: What the hell is CPR?
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11-07-2005, 02:35 PM
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#26 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
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Andy Capp and his wife get into a brawl. The fight turns into one of those "cartoon fight-clouds" all the way out the door, and just as Quagmire walks in he gets sucked into the frey. A few seconds later the Capp's fight heads out the door, leaving Quagmire laying in a heap on the floor.
He looks up and says: "What the hell-did I just get laid?"
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11-07-2005, 02:36 PM
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#27 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Lost in the mountains
Posts: 2,088
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Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did giggittygiggiydoo that girl. I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus. And I am sorry.
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