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Old 11-05-2005, 01:07 PM   #1
Libertine
sex dwarf
 
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 17,860
My Miserable Life

http://www.mymiserablelife.com/

Best site ever
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:16 PM   #2
SilentKnight
Megan Fox's fluffer
 
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Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: shooting pool in Elysium
Posts: 24,818
Quote:
Originally Posted by punkworld
That's a real peach of a site

(fandom sample)

"For some reason, they smell like clams (2/15/00) - Anonymous, FL, Age 47

I'm a 4'2", balding, port-a-let cleaner with dirty fingernails that lives with his step-mother. My dad died in an controversial felching accident when I was 5. Now they call me turd-gerbil. Instead of an asshole, I now have a nice cluster of hemorrhoidal "grapes" gently tucked between my butt cheeks and for some reason, they smell like clams. My last bowel movement was 9 days ago. They hurt so bad that every time I try to shit, I cry. Speaking of shit, a hooker shit diarrhea in my eyes four months ago... I still can't see.

I have something resembling lava temperature pumpkin pie filling spilling from my cock and my right nut has swollen to at least 3 times the size of the other. I have a large, angry lump in my armpit that I swear makes noise, my cat shit in my bed, my sister is fucking all my friends, and someone keeps leaving little Cornish game hens stuffed with used condoms on my doorstep."
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:21 PM   #3
kmanrox
aka K-Man
 
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Gutter
Posts: 29,292
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentKnight
That's a real peach of a site

(fandom sample)

"For some reason, they smell like clams (2/15/00) - Anonymous, FL, Age 47

I'm a 4'2", balding, port-a-let cleaner with dirty fingernails that lives with his step-mother. My dad died in an controversial felching accident when I was 5. Now they call me turd-gerbil. Instead of an asshole, I now have a nice cluster of hemorrhoidal "grapes" gently tucked between my butt cheeks and for some reason, they smell like clams. My last bowel movement was 9 days ago. They hurt so bad that every time I try to shit, I cry. Speaking of shit, a hooker shit diarrhea in my eyes four months ago... I still can't see.

I have something resembling lava temperature pumpkin pie filling spilling from my cock and my right nut has swollen to at least 3 times the size of the other. I have a large, angry lump in my armpit that I swear makes noise, my cat shit in my bed, my sister is fucking all my friends, and someone keeps leaving little Cornish game hens stuffed with used condoms on my doorstep."

hahahahahahaa now that's my kind of creative writer!! we could conjur up some sick ass stories together...
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:23 PM   #4
Libertine
sex dwarf
 
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I like this one:

Quote:
I'm 23, shy and I don't make friends very easily. A few years ago I dated a girl who wouldn't put out, and I was fine with that. We broke up after a year and went our separate ways. Last year she shows up with a two year old and says it's mine. Problem is I never slept with her. She sues me and then gets her lawyer gets the blood test thrown out of court. So I'm a 23 year old virgin paying child support for a kid that isn't mine. Oh yeah, I just filed for bankruptcy. Bye bye law school.
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:26 PM   #5
Doctor Dre
Too lazy to set a custom title
 
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I have porno on the web - Laura, Age 20

I am 20 years old and have porno on the web. I was lured in by the money factor and never got paid. I got fired from my real job. I am too poor to afford a lawyer and have to just deal with it, because that's what you do. I hate myself and I don't like people very much anymore. I see no point in existing, and I am a fucked-up loser. It sucks being attractive. All you get are men wanting to cum in your mouth and women wanting to kill you. Life is fun and reproducing is very important so we can continue this beautiful positive thing.1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayadp05 View Post
I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:26 PM   #6
Spunky
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Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
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Quote:
Originally Posted by punkworld
I like this one:
Doh...man that would fuckin suck
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:30 PM   #7
Doctor Dre
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Jeez this site is kinda depressing...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayadp05 View Post
I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:31 PM   #8
Rui
web
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: On icq: 85-483-060
Posts: 9,533
wierd shit, I was just browsing that site 10mins ago (haven't been there for like a year)...eh
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:33 PM   #9
Libertine
sex dwarf
 
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 17,860
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Dre
Jeez this site is kinda depressing...
Sure is.

Quote:
For the past two years I've worked various jobs, prostitution being one of them, to support my drug habit. I no longer care if I live or die. I'm secretly hoping that one of my "clients" turns out to be a psychopathic serial killer who will end my miserable life in a gruesome, yet public way. At least that way my name will occasionally appear on cheesy documentaries and true crime books instead of sinking into total oblivion.
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Old 11-06-2005, 06:13 PM   #10
tristan_D
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perfect reading before committing suicide.
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Old 11-06-2005, 08:36 PM   #11
PixeLs
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I just found a perfect sunctuary to share all these emotional constipation I feel inside. Thanks punkworld.
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Old 11-06-2005, 08:39 PM   #12
nofx
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Virgin Mary's womb
Posts: 16,826
its true because life fucking sucks
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Often times I wonder why
There's love and hate, theres live or die.
When sickness comes I must decide:
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