Reason # 5,268 Why We Love The Internets - GoFuckYourself.com

CIVMatt · 10-28-2005, 11:05 AM

Reason # 5,268 Why We Love The Internets

Reason # 5,268 Why We Love The Internets
Just got the e-mail exchange below from my boy Nice. Do yourself a favor and read the whole thing. Priceless.

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say that all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing.

I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I
don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't.

I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you
hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not.

I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it
was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.

I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck
him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been
most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run
of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand and b-job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is
that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,
Brad

mikie mike · 10-28-2005, 11:11 AM

tranza · 10-28-2005, 11:21 AM

OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!

Hahahahahahahaha

JD · 10-28-2005, 11:24 AM

Lmao!!!!!!!

tranza · 10-28-2005, 11:48 AM

The only reason why this thread was not so popular is that nobody wants to read such a huge text...

bringer · 10-28-2005, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza

The only reason why this thread was not so popular is that nobody wants to read such a huge text...

it was worth it

Dalai lama · 10-28-2005, 11:56 AM

4 out the 5 people above me did not read this post.

NickPapageorgio · 10-28-2005, 11:57 AM

Best fucking response email fucking ever!!!

"I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand and b-job in the men's room."

OMFG I am fuckin dying here

Pilforgod · 10-28-2005, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bringer

it was worth it

x2!

jawanda · 10-28-2005, 12:04 PM

OMG best reply EVERRRRRRRRRRR ...

Holy shit that was awesome.

lol ...

-Phil

emthree · 10-28-2005, 12:20 PM

ahahahah good shit

Corona · 10-28-2005, 12:26 PM

I bet she wan't expecting that

CIVMatt · 10-28-2005, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza

The only reason why this thread was not so popular is that nobody wants to read such a huge text...

lol, yeah I knew that going in

Aly · 10-28-2005, 01:02 PM

CTRL-C / CTRL-V

10-28-2005, 11:05 AM	#1
CIVMatt Amateur Pimpin Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 13,075	Reason # 5,268 Why We Love The Internets Reason # 5,268 Why We Love The Internets Reason # 5,268 Why We Love The Internets Just got the e-mail exchange below from my boy Nice. Do yourself a favor and read the whole thing. Priceless. Brad, It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say that all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it. I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that. I am so sorry. Elizabeth Dear Elizabeth, Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about". You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand and b-job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened. By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know. PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email. Talk to you never, Brad __________________ Make easy money with Webcams

10-28-2005, 11:11 AM	#2
mikie mike Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Puddle Town Posts: 459	__________________

10-28-2005, 11:21 AM	#3
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!! Hahahahahahahaha __________________ I'm just a newbie.

10-28-2005, 11:48 AM	#5
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	The only reason why this thread was not so popular is that nobody wants to read such a huge text... __________________ I'm just a newbie.

10-28-2005, 11:56 AM	#7
Dalai lama Strength and Honor Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Europe Posts: 16,540	4 out the 5 people above me did not read this post. __________________ A program you can trust. Gallerybooster Run multiply TGPs of 1 script

10-28-2005, 11:24 AM	#4
JD Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 22,651	Lmao!!!!!!!

10-28-2005, 11:57 AM	#8
NickPapageorgio Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NC Posts: 8,323	Best fucking response email fucking ever!!! "I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand and b-job in the men's room." OMFG I am fuckin dying here __________________

10-28-2005, 12:04 PM	#10
jawanda Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,040	OMG best reply EVERRRRRRRRRRR ... Holy shit that was awesome. lol ... -Phil

10-28-2005, 12:20 PM	#11
emthree Dialer Kingpin Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: New York Posts: 10,816	ahahahah good shit __________________ • Sell Patches & Pills •

10-28-2005, 12:26 PM	#12
Corona Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Third mall from the sun Posts: 2,185	I bet she wan't expecting that __________________ I was looking for a job, and then I found a job And heaven knows I'm miserable now

10-28-2005, 01:02 PM	#14
Aly President, ePufferProfits Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,881	CTRL-C / CTRL-V __________________ . . Aly's ICQ: 51504163 . Aly's Email: [email protected]