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Old 10-26-2005, 10:45 PM   #1
TheTrashMan
So Fucking Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: New York City
Posts: 24
Law Suits

It seems that America's favorite pastime is no longer baseball, but rather frivolous law suits that range from entertaining to ridiculous and obscure. Such law suits number in the millions. There are too many greedy attorneys and ignorant clients to put a stop to this madness. Anyone can sue anybody over anything anytime. The doors of justice are left wide open for the vultures to prey upon their victims. This is a very frightening thought, but Americans are too busy suing each other to notice. The primal law of nature is sue or be sued!

Have you ever wondered how pickles can injure a person? Well, a convenience store employee in West Virginia won almost $ 3 million in damages because she hurt her back while opening a jar of pickles. On top of that, she received $130, 000 for compensation and $170, 000 for emotional distress. How can a pickle jar hurt her back? Maybe her wrist could have been sprained, but her back?! She certainly put the pickle manufacturer in a pickle.

McDonald's has it's own pickle-related injuries to contend with. A woman sued the fast food giant for disfigurement by an extremely hot pickle that was "defective and unreasonably dangerous." She received $110,000 for medical bills, lost wages, mental pain and anguish. Apparently she got 2nd degree burns on her chin when a scalding hot pickle fell out of her burger and landed on her chin. Her husband also sued for an additional $15,000 because he was deprived of services and companionship from his wife. She should have eaten a little slower rather than scarffing down the greasy slab of cow that was directly off the grill.

McDonald's cannot seem to get away from pesky law suits. In this particular case, a man sued the chain because a bagel damaged his teeth, along with his marriage. His entire case is based on an "implied warranty that the food sold was reasonably fit for human consumption." How can a bagel damage one's teeth? I mean, it's a bagel for goodness sake! As for damaging a marriage, his wife will just have to wait for him to heal before he attempts any shows of affection.

By far the greatest suit exists against the largest fast food chains in the US; Burger King, KFC, McDonald's, and Wendy's. Apparently there are several obese folks who are miffed about being addicted to fast food, and blame the food giants for their health problems. Eating greasy food that is high in fat, salt, sugar, and cholesterol is not good for you (how shocking!!!). The key argument surrounds the facts that the restaurants did not explain in detail what their foods contained or the risks of eating too much. Any chain that advertises foods by their weight should make a person realize that the food has got to have a lot of calories. No one holds a gun to your head and makes you eat fast-food, so save your breath for the treadmill! People have free will, so use it and stop whining about being fat. Instead, do something about it, like exercise (there's a novel idea!).
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Old 10-26-2005, 10:47 PM   #2
TheMob
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: 2006
Posts: 8,584
someone post the timeline pic
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Old 10-26-2005, 10:47 PM   #3
MikeyFingaz
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: next to the retards
Posts: 1,569
are you another fucking surfer??? wtf are you doing here??? explain yourself... who the fuck do you work for and what do you do???
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Old 10-26-2005, 11:25 PM   #4
S P A N N O W
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