Guy's rules for women - GoFuckYourself.com

Tanker · 10-05-2005, 12:28 PM

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don 't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

gornyhuy · 10-05-2005, 12:31 PM

I need to cut and paste about 75% of that and email it to my wife.

WiredGuy · 10-05-2005, 12:33 PM

Ellisa see this thread yet?

WG

Zeina-Heart · 10-05-2005, 12:33 PM

Shoehorn! · 10-05-2005, 12:38 PM

iwantchixx · 10-05-2005, 02:32 PM

sssso true. especially the asking for advice one.

slapass · 10-05-2005, 02:35 PM

"1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down."

seeric · 10-05-2005, 02:36 PM

so true man.

axelcat · 10-05-2005, 02:38 PM

hmmwv · 10-05-2005, 02:48 PM

amen brother!

Princess Ellisa · 10-05-2005, 02:48 PM

Yes Charles Ellisa saw this thread just now... you will all note that my husband didn't dare share this with me and had hoped it would fall of the front page before I noticed.

ronaldo · 10-05-2005, 02:49 PM

Printing now.

ssp · 10-05-2005, 02:50 PM

Yep, that's men for you. Every single one is true.

Icon · 10-05-2005, 03:10 PM

I ummm I always leave the seat up

tristan_D · 10-05-2005, 05:08 PM

my favorite points

Quote:

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

Spunky · 10-05-2005, 05:13 PM

All I ask for is this one during the game
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

PlugRush Sascha · 10-05-2005, 05:14 PM

A true classic amongst lists.

NickRac · 10-05-2005, 05:19 PM

beautiful!

PixeLs · 10-05-2005, 07:31 PM

Nice one Tanker. Spreading the good news to my friends now!

CherryLipsRosa · 10-05-2005, 08:30 PM

No comment!

Doctor Dre · 10-05-2005, 08:50 PM

Old but true

10-05-2005, 12:28 PM	#1
Tanker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,287	Guy's rules for women The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don 't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping __________________ Tanker ICQ 3427575 CCBTools Now featured in the CCBill.com APP STORE

10-05-2005, 12:31 PM	#2
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	I need to cut and paste about 75% of that and email it to my wife. __________________ icq:159548293

10-05-2005, 12:33 PM	#3
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,497	Ellisa see this thread yet? WG __________________ I play with Google.

10-05-2005, 12:33 PM	#4
Zeina-Heart Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 670	__________________ Eromodelcash Zeina Heart

10-05-2005, 12:38 PM	#5
Shoehorn! Die With Your Boots On Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Hawaii Posts: 22,872	__________________

10-05-2005, 02:32 PM	#6
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	sssso true. especially the asking for advice one.

10-05-2005, 02:35 PM	#7
slapass Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Earth Posts: 14,625	"1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down."

10-05-2005, 02:36 PM	#8
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	so true man.

10-05-2005, 02:38 PM	#9
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450

10-05-2005, 02:48 PM	#10
hmmwv Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 293	amen brother!

10-05-2005, 02:48 PM	#11
Princess Ellisa Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: In my own lil' bubble. Posts: 1,883	Yes Charles Ellisa saw this thread just now... you will all note that my husband didn't dare share this with me and had hoped it would fall of the front page before I noticed. __________________ Skype: PrincessEllisa1 ellisa at pink label dot .com Princess of Everything, Pink Label

10-05-2005, 02:49 PM	#12
ronaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ#: 272000271 Posts: 5,475	Printing now.

10-05-2005, 02:50 PM	#13
ssp Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 7,990	Yep, that's men for you. Every single one is true.

10-05-2005, 03:10 PM	#14
Icon Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: The watercooler of life tripping balls with NPH Posts: 1,757	I ummm I always leave the seat up __________________ Icon Professional Shark Wrestler ICQ: 214 674 095 "I see Brown people"

10-05-2005, 05:13 PM	#16
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	All I ask for is this one during the game Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

10-05-2005, 05:14 PM	#17
PlugRush Sascha Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 2,772	A true classic amongst lists. __________________ Plugrush - Push ads, native ads, banners & pops. Buy & sell adult and mainstream traffic. Skype plugrushsascha

10-05-2005, 05:19 PM	#18
NickRac Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 584	beautiful!

10-05-2005, 07:31 PM	#19
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	Nice one Tanker. Spreading the good news to my friends now! __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

10-05-2005, 08:30 PM	#20
CherryLipsRosa Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Costa Rica Posts: 3,603	No comment! __________________ Rosalia M. ICQ.12150439 Skype. cherrylipsrosa