If there's a funnier and more perceptive comedian than Chris Rock, I've not seen them - GoFuckYourself.com

ronaldo · 09-20-2005, 11:10 AM

-Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.

-You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

-Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

-You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.

-A man is only as faithful as his options.

-If you've been dating a man for four months and you haven't met any of his friends, you are not his girlfriend.

-Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.

-Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

-Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

-Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

-Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

-Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

-I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

-If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

-Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

-Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

-Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

-You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. That's not a payment. That's a jack.

RuthB · 09-20-2005, 11:14 AM

yeah, he's good

his new show Everybody hates Chris looks like it'll be pretty funny too

http://www.upn.com/shows/everybody_hates_chris/

CybermedAndy · 09-20-2005, 11:15 AM

Listen to Dane Cook, just as good

Manowar · 09-20-2005, 11:16 AM

Fresh · 09-20-2005, 11:32 AM

yea hes hillarious

je_rome · 09-20-2005, 06:47 PM

that's what I love most about Chris Rock. he really rocks!

Spunky · 09-20-2005, 07:16 PM

Chris is hilarious..one of the best out there

PGR · 09-20-2005, 07:21 PM

My faves are Richard Pryor and Billy Connolly.

xlogger · 09-20-2005, 07:25 PM

Lisa Lampanelli!! Holy shit, i almost crapped my pants when i saw her uncensored set on comedy central!!

jollyperv · 09-20-2005, 07:26 PM

Pryor is fucking classic, but old Cosby stuff paved the way for him and the fucking ridiculously funny Eddie Murphy Delirious and Raw. It's cool how back in the 70s and 80s they used to release stand up routines as movies.

As far as modern comedians, Brian Regan makes me laugh pretty fucking hard...and he doesn't use any kind of profanity, which is really an amazing thing nowadays.

And of course Carlin, who could forget.

gornyhuy · 09-20-2005, 07:28 PM

come on - a female comedian? by definition she must suck... any links?

xlogger · 09-20-2005, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gornyhuy

come on - a female comedian? by definition she must suck... any links?

No way dude, she was so fucking funny. She made fun of every race imaginable. I dont have a link but i saw a special of it on comedy central. They had to air it like @ 12pm because it was just so nasty.

Here is one joke i remember.

"My cunt has seen more back cock that all the uninals at the apollo."

PixeLs · 09-20-2005, 07:36 PM

He has taken the number one spot of Jim Carrey on my list now. Chrisk really Rocks!

Ray Nagin · 09-20-2005, 07:49 PM

anyone got some vids for me ,

Downtime · 09-20-2005, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngelDollarsAndy

Listen to Dane Cook, just as good

Yeah I agree, I just interviewed him a month or so ago. Read it here! Don't know who Dane Cook is?

Dane Cook Videos!

09-20-2005, 11:10 AM	#1
ronaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ#: 272000271 Posts: 5,475	If there's a funnier and more perceptive comedian than Chris Rock, I've not seen them -Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one. -You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. -Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else. -You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. -A man is only as faithful as his options. -If you've been dating a man for four months and you haven't met any of his friends, you are not his girlfriend. -Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council. -Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. -Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. -Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95. -Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. -Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing. -I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. -If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty. -Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. -Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest! -Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? -You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. That's not a payment. That's a jack.

09-20-2005, 11:14 AM	#2
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,248	yeah, he's good his new show Everybody hates Chris looks like it'll be pretty funny too http://www.upn.com/shows/everybody_hates_chris/ __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

09-20-2005, 11:15 AM	#3
CybermedAndy Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 4,170	Listen to Dane Cook, just as good __________________ Add some upsell items to your pages here!

09-20-2005, 11:32 AM	#5
Fresh TubeClicks.com - First Tube Affiliate Program Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: LA Posts: 4,920	yea hes hillarious __________________ Promote ONE Legal Tube Site, Collect Checks from 19 Sponsors Fresh Dave \| Email: [email protected] \| ICQ: 317160390

09-20-2005, 06:47 PM	#6
je_rome Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,846	that's what I love most about Chris Rock. he really rocks! __________________ Make money on any traffic. Join KlikRevenue.com Today!

09-20-2005, 11:16 AM	#4
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

09-20-2005, 07:16 PM	#7
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,982	Chris is hilarious..one of the best out there __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

09-20-2005, 07:21 PM	#8
PGR Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Ontario Posts: 1,753	My faves are Richard Pryor and Billy Connolly. __________________ DomainRaider - PGRDomains sales AT pgrdomains DOT com

09-20-2005, 07:25 PM	#9
xlogger Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: NY Posts: 9,507	Lisa Lampanelli!! Holy shit, i almost crapped my pants when i saw her uncensored set on comedy central!! __________________ ---------- XLOGGER [REFLECTED] [OH]

09-20-2005, 07:26 PM	#10
jollyperv Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: NYC Posts: 3,927	Pryor is fucking classic, but old Cosby stuff paved the way for him and the fucking ridiculously funny Eddie Murphy Delirious and Raw. It's cool how back in the 70s and 80s they used to release stand up routines as movies. As far as modern comedians, Brian Regan makes me laugh pretty fucking hard...and he doesn't use any kind of profanity, which is really an amazing thing nowadays. And of course Carlin, who could forget. Last edited by jollyperv; 09-20-2005 at 07:27 PM..

09-20-2005, 07:28 PM	#11
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	come on - a female comedian? by definition she must suck... any links? __________________ icq:159548293

09-20-2005, 07:36 PM	#13
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	He has taken the number one spot of Jim Carrey on my list now. Chrisk really Rocks! __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

09-20-2005, 07:49 PM	#14
Ray Nagin Will everyone please review my newest site? Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the Mayor's Office Posts: 820	anyone got some vids for me , __________________ this is not a FAKE NICK