Originally Posted by BVF

get a number IMMEDIATELY...There was no way I would have ended that conversation without either offering my number or asking for hers.

Originally Posted by xxxjay

Last night me and my friends, Chris and Joel, went out to this local dive bar for a few thousand shots of Jagermeister. We were sitting at this table in the front of the place and I was already so fucked up I was stuffing various objects up into my hat in one of my patented comedy routines.

One of my buddies notices that it?s Ashley Olsen sitting at the table next to us. A few minutes later, I notice Mary Kate is sitting right behind me (like 6 inches away). This annoying standup comedian walks up to our table trying to sell his DVD or something and being really obnoxious.

He says, ?If you don?t laugh, you will get your money back.?

So I come back with, ?Let?s hear some of your best shit??

So he starts telling these jokes and I can finish the punch lines to all of them. These jokes are Lame ? that?s right Lame with a capitol ?L? ? they sounded like they came straight out of Maxim. I tore the guy to shreds and everybody was cracking up ? they loved it.

So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation.

A while later -- they left. Oh well, to be honest, they really didn?t look that good anyway. Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes.

The last thing I was thinking today is: Ok, these girls just got out of jailbait status and everybody knows who they are and how old they are, so what kind of fake ID got those bitches in the bar?

Hollywood, you gotta? love it.

Originally Posted by xxxjay

So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation.

Originally Posted by xxxjay

Last night me and my friends, Chris and Joel, went out to this local dive bar for a few thousand shots of Jagermeister. We were sitting at this table in the front of the place and I was already so fucked up I was stuffing various objects up into my hat in one of my patented comedy routines.

One of my buddies notices that it?s Ashley Olsen sitting at the table next to us. A few minutes later, I notice Mary Kate is sitting right behind me (like 6 inches away). This annoying standup comedian walks up to our table trying to sell his DVD or something and being really obnoxious.

He says, ?If you don?t laugh, you will get your money back.?

So I come back with, ?Let?s hear some of your best shit??

So he starts telling these jokes and I can finish the punch lines to all of them. These jokes are Lame ? that?s right Lame with a capitol ?L? ? they sounded like they came straight out of Maxim. I tore the guy to shreds and everybody was cracking up ? they loved it.

So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation.

A while later -- they left. Oh well, to be honest, they really didn?t look that good anyway. Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes.

The last thing I was thinking today is: Ok, these girls just got out of jailbait status and everybody knows who they are and how old they are, so what kind of fake ID got those bitches in the bar?

Hollywood, you gotta? love it.

Originally Posted by animal mother

where do you get "almost hooked up" out of that?

Originally Posted by xxxjay

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

???

I didn't think so.

Stop the hate.

Originally Posted by xxxjay

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

Originally Posted by xxxjay

Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat hahaha8211; kind of a square fat

Originally Posted by Young

I've fucked Trechelle and Tina from the Real World. That is my claim to reality fame.

Originally Posted by BVF

Hell, they can pat a puppy on the head and say "Oh look at the cute little doggie" but that doesn't mean that the puppy is any closer to getting laid. :1orglaugh

Originally Posted by xxxjay

The Dime on Fairfax.

Originally Posted by xxxjay

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

???


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???

I didn't think so.