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Old 08-19-2005, 11:08 AM   #1
Donny
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I Prayed A Lot Last Night. God Answered.

God wants me to help clean up this industry. He doesn't mind porn as long as it's not too extreme. And he wants us all to start tithing, paying him 10% as mentioned in this thread:

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=505754

You can go along voluntarily or God and I will have to gaffle ya.
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Old 08-19-2005, 11:16 AM   #2
Donny
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18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, 19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, 20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; 21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. 22 He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy. 23 Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the LORD do sanctify them.

- Leviticus 21: 18-23
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Old 08-19-2005, 11:17 AM   #3
HarrytheNazi
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so jah seh....
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Old 08-19-2005, 11:43 AM   #4
Furious_Female
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How come the government wants more than God?
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Old 08-19-2005, 11:54 AM   #5
Donny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Furious_Female
How come the government wants more than God?

God told me to tell you that's because he gets 10% of the money from every one in the world, regardless of which nation they're from. He needs less 'cause he has more peeps, yo.
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Old 08-19-2005, 06:37 PM   #6
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hellaluhjaaaaah,,, praise me.. uhm him ;)
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Old 08-19-2005, 06:40 PM   #7
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You're starting to scare me Donny.
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:02 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by DonovanPhillips
He needs less 'cause he has more peeps, yo.
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:08 PM   #9
Malicious Biz
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Send money to the churches so they can fund their crusades against the porn industry!
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:10 PM   #10
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far out man









weird movie
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:19 PM   #11
Donny
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Originally Posted by pussyluver
You're starting to scare me Donny.

Better that I scare you on earth than God has to scare you by sending you to eternal hellfire. You'll be cast into outer darkness, where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

OR... you can turn to Jesus. And be saved from your wicked ways.
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:29 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonovanPhillips
Better that I scare you on earth than God has to scare you by sending you to eternal hellfire. You'll be cast into outer darkness, where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

OR... you can turn to Jesus. And be saved from your wicked ways.
Did your mom and dad call you today Don? Must be feeling that Pastoral, parental guilt.

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Old 08-19-2005, 07:31 PM   #13
Donny
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Originally Posted by Shooting_Manic
Did your mom and dad call you today Don? Must be feeling that Pastoral, parental guilt.


I turned my life over to Jesus. God is my co-pilot now.
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:39 PM   #14
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so you dont believe in pre marital sex anymore right?

Belinda... you still got the number for a big sausage delivery right?
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:41 PM   #15
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Ding Ding....order up.....
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:44 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by sicone
so you dont believe in pre marital sex anymore right?

Belinda... you still got the number for a big sausage delivery right?
Actually I do believe that I have some coupons that I need to redeem. I think I will give them a call.
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Old 08-19-2005, 07:59 PM   #17
davecummings
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SHE (god, that is) told me recently that what we do is GOOD for mankind, and that sex between consenting adults, or with oneself, is a natural/normal/healthy aspect of life on Earth; and, that we help people handle stress, tension, and lack of available nookie; and that we help people be more productive and happy.

Dave
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Old 08-20-2005, 05:23 AM   #18
SquireMD
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does circumcision count as "giving 10% to God" if it was done in a religous ceremony?
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Old 08-20-2005, 05:31 AM   #19
TheWylders
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does circumcision count as "giving 10% to God" if it was done in a religous ceremony?
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Old 08-20-2005, 06:46 AM   #20
Buzz
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last time I've been praying God, he 'd striked me with a lightning bolt
way too dangerous to try to repeat the procedure
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Old 08-20-2005, 11:58 PM   #21
Donny
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God doesn't like all the threads about his existence today...
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Old 08-21-2005, 02:08 AM   #22
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This thread is sponsored by Satan Cash!
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