Ambush Interview # 69: Tom Cruise - GoFuckYourself.com

Mako · 06-24-2005, 01:55 PM

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Ambush Interview #69

Tom Cruise

Def old school, Tom's been in the game as long as some of the dinosaurs. Starting with one of the largest movie companies (Paramount) he starred in such hits as Top Gun and Rainman, and started the largest Scientology affiliate program that still defines some of their traffic stratigies that exist today on the web and in most every other brainwashing program out there. Moving into his 40s, and in the throws of a massive mid-life crisis, Tom become a spokesperson and a public figure unlike any other for dating hot younger girls. Recently changing wives, Tom now works on programming Katie Holmes and talks to all reporters (devils) and people (self-medicators) who have any interest in learning that L Ron Hubbard is god.

1. If it fair that lesbians are allowed to use dildos? They made their choice.

Tom Cruise: Listen, I've researched dildos. You haven't. If you read some of the papers on these things, you'd understand that they simply mask the symptom, which is their partner's lack of mad finger-using skills. Do you even know where the name "dildo" came from? It's a derivative from "dildopholous" which what taken from a nazi concentration camp doctor. People don't know these things. I do.

2. Talk about your education and love of the stage and attention.

Tom Cruise: You're crossing a line now Scotty. Remember your manners and put them back in. My education consisted of some high school, in which I barely learned to read due to a problem with dyslexia. Later, after I embraced Scientology, the dyslexia was cured by "purging some bad engrams". Basically one of the BTs (aliens) living in my stomach needed glasses, and it was messing with my ability to understand text. We hooked him up with some intergalactic Lenscrafters goggles, and he's good to go.

3. What was it like being a minor and a woman in the persian gulf?

Tom Cruise: When you accept a role, you have to take hold of the character and make it your own. It was difficult getting into the mindframe of a young heroic woman who gave for our country, being that I am a clueless follower of a cult, whose idea of giving is hand-wrestling Oprah Winfrey on live television. So there were challenges. But at the end of the day, you look in the mirror and ask yourself "What would L Ron Hubbard do?" and find your way.

4. Why do you live in LA now?

Tom Cruise: LA is the focal point for the invasion. (publicist rushes forward, whispers in Cruise's ear) The invasion of fictional aliens from my upcomming movie The War of the Worlds that is...why are you smirking?

5. I'm not, just some gas. I'm down to four bacon-cheeseburgers a day on this new diet and it's wreaking havoc with my system. Talk about your passion for boats and the water and histroy therein.

Tom Cruise: At www.clambake.org there is a complete history of Scientology's incredible naval fleet, Sea Org. I learned everything about about the ocean from my time in their service. Including the island that Xenu will appear on when he returns to attempt the enslaving of Earth. And where the powerful counterforces are that will protect us. (publicist rushes forward, trips over coffee table due to ferocity of movement, whispers in Cruise's ear) The aliens from The War of the Worlds that is.

6. How did you convince the twink to spunk on Shok's bed?

Tom Cruise: For the last time, I am not gay. I support the homosexual movement, often times via unprotected anal intercourse with young gay men. Beyond that I am a straight heterosexual male. If you continue with this course of questioning, I'll be forced to forward your personal information to my attornyes.

Toms's got more love in this industry than ANYONE I know. He has this magnitism about him that everyone talks about, especially young girls who will be future wives of his. A long term veteram and a master at promoting Scientology's wonderful "vitamin" programs for hallucinating child-killing post-partum depression Moms, Tom is proud to have been snagged from traditional religions by Earth-shattering alien gods and he's someone who most expect will be in this industry for many years to come. Until the invasion.

Thank you Tom!

taibo · 06-24-2005, 01:59 PM

goddamn im tired of hearing about this guy

Pleasurepays · 06-24-2005, 02:01 PM

hahhaa nice job!

KMR Stitch · 06-24-2005, 02:07 PM

man you must have to much time on your hands.

Nismo · 06-24-2005, 02:18 PM

I can't wait for Tom to answer.

Mako · 06-24-2005, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KMR Stitch

man you must have to much time on your hands.

No doubt. I got about halfway through it and thought "why the fuck did I start this??" lol.

One of those great ideas that seems like a two minute job that quickly turned into a 15 minute job.

natas · 06-24-2005, 02:39 PM

nice one

cherrylula · 06-24-2005, 04:02 PM

now all we need is a photoshop of Tom at the players ball.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 06-24-2005, 04:14 PM

Good Interview!

ADG Webmaster

aimeesweet · 06-24-2005, 04:19 PM

That is so funny...lol

nofx · 06-24-2005, 04:29 PM

anyone who looks up to celebrities is a moron

Aly · 06-24-2005, 04:34 PM

That's great!

Mako · 06-24-2005, 05:16 PM

Holy christ that pic of Rosie O'Donnel is frightening...

Spunky · 06-24-2005, 05:18 PM

Lol..that was differant..surprised nothing about Katie

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 06-24-2005, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mako

Holy christ that pic of Rosie O'Donnel is frightening...

From that make-up job, it looks like she's been studying Kabuki:

BTW, the Cruise-Rosie photo was shot at the gay awards - Tom is so in denial.

ADG Webmaster

Fletch XXX · 06-24-2005, 05:24 PM

good one

nico-t · 06-24-2005, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Good Interview!

ADG Webmaster

holy shit when i saw this pic i know a guy that looks EXACtly like him

Pleasurepays · 06-24-2005, 10:20 PM

I dont know what it is you guys don't get.

didn't you guys know that once you make a sucessful movie on the very believable premise that the last samurai in Japan was actually a white, alcoholic major in the US Union Army, that you are then qualified to dispense medical and psychiatric advice????

Abyss_Vee · 06-24-2005, 10:23 PM

SleazyDream · 06-24-2005, 10:26 PM

lol!!!!!!

sniperwolf · 06-24-2005, 10:28 PM

rofl... awesome shit...!

xfalmp · 07-25-2005, 01:13 PM

LMAO, just accidentally found this one and had to bump it...

tristan_D · 07-25-2005, 05:35 PM

after jumping up and down on Oprah's couch and saying he believed in aliens...THAT'S IT!

sonofsam · 07-25-2005, 05:37 PM

you should have icqd this to me

Icon · 07-25-2005, 05:40 PM

:LOLOLOL nice!

Napolean · 07-25-2005, 05:46 PM

hahahaa, good stuff

nico-t · 07-25-2005, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tristan_D

after jumping up and down on Oprah's couch and saying he believed in aliens...THAT'S IT!

same thing as believing in god......

JJ Gold · 07-25-2005, 06:20 PM

Hysterical!
True talent!

PixeLs · 07-25-2005, 10:09 PM

BRavooo! NIce Ambush interview there MaKo! ;)

The Ghost · 07-26-2005, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Tom Cruise said....
"Basically one of the BTs (aliens) living in my stomach needed glasses, and it was messing with my ability to understand text. We hooked him up with some intergalactic Lenscrafters goggles, and he's good to go.

. Priceless

reynold · 07-26-2005, 04:22 AM

you guys are not tired of this tom cruise issues.

Tom Cruise · 08-12-2005, 02:27 PM

Was I supposed to reply to this?!?!?!?

06-24-2005, 01:55 PM	#1
Mako Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The OC baby! Posts: 1,986	Ambush Interview # 69: Tom Cruise Ambush Interview is an information biography interview service giving webmasters profiles on the characters behind the scenes in Online Adult from a variety of backgrounds. Please visit our archive for other interviews on GFY with major Adult Industry Players. Advertise with Ambush interview by contacting Cybercat Ambush Interview #69 Tom Cruise Def old school, Tom's been in the game as long as some of the dinosaurs. Starting with one of the largest movie companies (Paramount) he starred in such hits as Top Gun and Rainman, and started the largest Scientology affiliate program that still defines some of their traffic stratigies that exist today on the web and in most every other brainwashing program out there. Moving into his 40s, and in the throws of a massive mid-life crisis, Tom become a spokesperson and a public figure unlike any other for dating hot younger girls. Recently changing wives, Tom now works on programming Katie Holmes and talks to all reporters (devils) and people (self-medicators) who have any interest in learning that L Ron Hubbard is god. 1. If it fair that lesbians are allowed to use dildos? They made their choice. Tom Cruise: Listen, I've researched dildos. You haven't. If you read some of the papers on these things, you'd understand that they simply mask the symptom, which is their partner's lack of mad finger-using skills. Do you even know where the name "dildo" came from? It's a derivative from "dildopholous" which what taken from a nazi concentration camp doctor. People don't know these things. I do. 2. Talk about your education and love of the stage and attention. Tom Cruise: You're crossing a line now Scotty. Remember your manners and put them back in. My education consisted of some high school, in which I barely learned to read due to a problem with dyslexia. Later, after I embraced Scientology, the dyslexia was cured by "purging some bad engrams". Basically one of the BTs (aliens) living in my stomach needed glasses, and it was messing with my ability to understand text. We hooked him up with some intergalactic Lenscrafters goggles, and he's good to go. 3. What was it like being a minor and a woman in the persian gulf? Tom Cruise: When you accept a role, you have to take hold of the character and make it your own. It was difficult getting into the mindframe of a young heroic woman who gave for our country, being that I am a clueless follower of a cult, whose idea of giving is hand-wrestling Oprah Winfrey on live television. So there were challenges. But at the end of the day, you look in the mirror and ask yourself "What would L Ron Hubbard do?" and find your way. 4. Why do you live in LA now? Tom Cruise: LA is the focal point for the invasion. (publicist rushes forward, whispers in Cruise's ear) The invasion of fictional aliens from my upcomming movie The War of the Worlds that is...why are you smirking? 5. I'm not, just some gas. I'm down to four bacon-cheeseburgers a day on this new diet and it's wreaking havoc with my system. Talk about your passion for boats and the water and histroy therein. Tom Cruise: At www.clambake.org there is a complete history of Scientology's incredible naval fleet, Sea Org. I learned everything about about the ocean from my time in their service. Including the island that Xenu will appear on when he returns to attempt the enslaving of Earth. And where the powerful counterforces are that will protect us. (publicist rushes forward, trips over coffee table due to ferocity of movement, whispers in Cruise's ear) The aliens from The War of the Worlds that is. 6. How did you convince the twink to spunk on Shok's bed? Tom Cruise: For the last time, I am not gay. I support the homosexual movement, often times via unprotected anal intercourse with young gay men. Beyond that I am a straight heterosexual male. If you continue with this course of questioning, I'll be forced to forward your personal information to my attornyes. Toms's got more love in this industry than ANYONE I know. He has this magnitism about him that everyone talks about, especially young girls who will be future wives of his. A long term veteram and a master at promoting Scientology's wonderful "vitamin" programs for hallucinating child-killing post-partum depression Moms, Tom is proud to have been snagged from traditional religions by Earth-shattering alien gods and he's someone who most expect will be in this industry for many years to come. Until the invasion. Thank you Tom! __________________

06-24-2005, 02:18 PM	#5
Nismo Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: FLORIDA Posts: 4,977	I can't wait for Tom to answer. __________________ i buy massive xxx dating traffic.

06-24-2005, 04:14 PM	#9
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Good Interview! ADG Webmaster __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

06-24-2005, 04:29 PM	#11
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	anyone who looks up to celebrities is a moron __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

06-24-2005, 04:34 PM	#12
Aly President, ePufferProfits Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,881	That's great! __________________ . . Aly's ICQ: 51504163 . Aly's Email: [email protected]

06-24-2005, 01:59 PM	#2
taibo Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,720	goddamn im tired of hearing about this guy

06-24-2005, 02:01 PM	#3
Pleasurepays BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I live in a pile of boogers Posts: 11,913	hahhaa nice job!

06-24-2005, 02:07 PM	#4
KMR Stitch I am cool Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 14,494	man you must have to much time on your hands.

06-24-2005, 02:39 PM	#7
natas Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: : unknown Posts: 3,377	nice one

06-24-2005, 04:02 PM	#8
cherrylula lol Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 15,969	now all we need is a photoshop of Tom at the players ball.

06-24-2005, 04:19 PM	#10
aimeesweet Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 2,917	That is so funny...lol

06-24-2005, 05:16 PM	#13
Mako Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The OC baby! Posts: 1,986	Holy christ that pic of Rosie O'Donnel is frightening... __________________

06-24-2005, 05:18 PM	#14
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	Lol..that was differant..surprised nothing about Katie __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

06-24-2005, 05:24 PM	#16
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06-24-2005, 10:20 PM	#18
Pleasurepays BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I live in a pile of boogers Posts: 11,913	I dont know what it is you guys don't get. didn't you guys know that once you make a sucessful movie on the very believable premise that the last samurai in Japan was actually a white, alcoholic major in the US Union Army, that you are then qualified to dispense medical and psychiatric advice????

06-24-2005, 10:23 PM	#19
Abyss_Vee Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 5,208

06-24-2005, 10:26 PM	#20
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	lol!!!!!! __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

06-24-2005, 10:28 PM	#21
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07-25-2005, 01:13 PM	#22
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07-25-2005, 05:35 PM	#23
tristan_D Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 7,865	after jumping up and down on Oprah's couch and saying he believed in aliens...THAT'S IT! __________________ Increase your sales. Up to $4 per click.

07-25-2005, 05:37 PM	#24
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07-25-2005, 05:40 PM	#25
Icon Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: The watercooler of life tripping balls with NPH Posts: 1,757	:LOLOLOL nice! __________________ Icon Professional Shark Wrestler ICQ: 214 674 095 "I see Brown people"

07-25-2005, 05:46 PM	#26
Napolean Old school Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Kettering, OH Posts: 4,327	hahahaa, good stuff __________________ Need a programmer? (Desktop/Web Applications) --- Skype: napoleande

07-25-2005, 06:20 PM	#28
JJ Gold Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1,969	Hysterical! True talent!

07-25-2005, 10:09 PM	#29
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	BRavooo! NIce Ambush interview there MaKo! ;) __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

07-26-2005, 04:22 AM	#31
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	you guys are not tired of this tom cruise issues.

08-12-2005, 02:27 PM	#32
Tom Cruise My Sig was too Big! :( Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 203	Was I supposed to reply to this?!?!?!? __________________