I can distract the locals.

hire some local guerilas
http://www.terra.es/personal6/agonizer2/jolly.gif

Hey bone, bring me back a zebra while your'e there.

This is the Congo, not the Zoo.
ITs Jungle dude. No Zebra's in the fucking Jungles!!

The ignorance is Bliss.

Get him a monkey then

It seems Niteline Media is following in our footstep.
Our mission has given them ideas! \

Accroding to a niteline broker, they are sending Attorneys to Congo to get thier Money from what I hear! This is the truth!
Unreal.

Maybe we will see them on the plane!

UPDATE FROM SOUTH AFRICA


We landed in northern Africa and went to find the damaged lines in the Congo. Once we got there and ran some tests, we discovered that the problem with the lines was actually in the wetlands of Southern Africa along the Zambezi River. Most if our gear has been held up in customs but we were allowed a few basic essentials.

We had to take a fucking train for god knows how many miles (seemed like thousands) then a chopper picked us up and flew us to the newly found spot. Because of all the trees, we had to land about 20 miles away and hike in through a bunch of swamp crap. This part of Africa sucks ass. In the Congo we mostly had to deal with the dangers of Gorillas but here in the wetlands, it is more of a swampy, high plains kinda thing and there are lions, hippos, rhinos, and a lot of other dangerous animals that seem to be following us. On the flight in we did see some zebras though so Lev may still get his wish.

Hey DarkJedi, I just noticed your flag and the funny thing is we did hire an american who is now living along the Zambezi River, to be our guide. The dude kinda looks like a pirate. I will post his picture below.

With the help of Nyght (the pirate guide) and our GPS, we were able to locate the bad section of wire. There is a lot of rhino activity in the area and it looks like the animals may have severed the underwater lines. The rhinos are very protective of the area and they sure as hell did not like us there. One of them actually tried to charge us. Thank god he was on the other side of the river. Once the line was repaired we discovered that there was another line down in the area. We hope to find it tomorrow.

Well, that about does it for the amount of time I have before this shitty satellite connection is out of range so I gotta go. Rest well knowing that we are working 24/7 to restore the Jesus Dialer lines. We have been video taping some of the events and hope to broadcast a feed of them in a day or two.

Please wish us luck on the rest of our journey.

Peace

http://www.aaron-matthews.com/pics/rhinoswamp.jpg
http://www.aaron-matthews.com/pics/tourguide.jpg

Looks like a very dangerous mission! If it werent for my dam herpes outbreak, id be there with you.

Thank God we have people like you guys working to get those lines back up. My dialer minutes are suffering. As a matter of fact, my friends E. European husband was complaining to me how he couldnt access his favorite .exe porn site.

Thanks guys :)

Damn. What a fucking trip.

Ive never been to Africa. The culture, the food, the people, the animals all a nice change.

We have been out all day fixing the Dialer Lines wioth our tools, and scouting out the area..

What was once a team of 12 has diminshed to a team of 5.
And currently only 3 of us are back in the host faily home.

2 Family members are still out.

But loosing 7 members of the family back in the Congo has me worried. If any of you hear anything let them know we have moved to wetlands of Southern Africa along the Zambezi River.

Other than that our host family is very nice, and we have lots of pics we will post monday when we finish here.

Hey Aaron, post a pic of our host family!

Hey Boneprone,
Good to see you're us lucky one's that got out. Did you hear that Charlie was eaten by lions? Too damn sad really. The natives are putting a group of warriors together to go hunt the beast. We should be feasting on that damn lion tomorrow night.

Yum lion, its the other white meat.

We did good today Men... We Did Good.

I cant wait to get back to the States Monday and share with everyone all our footage of fixing the Jesus Dialer Lines!

ok, Here is the host family pic. I am not sure about the video thing though. I have a feeling that customs may give us some shit about it so I will upload it from here. I hope the connection lasts and does not fuck up the feed. That sat. shit in the field sucks but at least Pirate Nyght has this dial up account we can use for now.

I saw the lion attack on Charlie. It was not pretty but I learned that it is true that you only have to outrun one guy when being chased by a lion. Good thing that guy was fatter than me or I would be the one on a slab tonite. :( You have no idea how close Nyght and Boneprone were to being a meal today. I even got a pic of the lion checking you two out.

http://www.aaron-matthews.com/pics/hostfamily.jpg
http://www.aaron-matthews.com/pics/lion.jpg

Indeed. That was some scarry shit today.
Ive never been so fucking close to lions like that and they were fucking everwhere.

Everywhere we looked we could see one in the distance eyeing us.

I fucking swear those damn Lions were the ones that chewed up our dialer lines out there.

Notice our HATS!

Our trip was partially funded by the phone company Q WEST!

As many of you know, the phone companies make a big chunk of change off these dialers! More than the resellers!

When they heard we were goin into the Congo to fix the lines, they helped sponsor our trip down there!

Haa! They thought we were with niteline, going down there to fix that Niteline dialer and their Congo Fuckups..

Wait till they find out we could care less about niteline and we were there ONLY to fix the Jesus Dialer lines!

stay tuned people. On monday we will have more pics and VIDEO of us in Africa fixing these lines.

20/20 and dateline have both emailed me intrested in this story.

I told em to GFY.
Only you people here will be able to see this footage!

I can honestly say that I haven't laughed this hard in months...... I am 100% your freaks have gone South alright, but more in your damn heads than physically. rotflmfao

This was seriously the most fun I have had reading a board in 6 months. LMAO

I have to pee.............. later.

rotfl

I wonder how pissed they will be when they find out we stole their phone lines?

shhh. Dont let that out yet bro! Wait till monday.

And Tam, why dont you come back to the family?

The door is open and Boneprone Fmaily is 4-Life ya know?
puls you are still on the bp4l site.

Let me know, and we'll fly you out to the congo tonight! We are down a few men, and could use your help?

enough!
No more about this!

It will only JINX our mission.
We are only half way done out here now, and a long way from being done.

We are celebrating prematurley.

(plus Britney Spears is on SNL right now out here in the Congo, and I just found some good Congo Lube)

Aaron, I could have given you a better deal, right now we are offering a special:



THIS JUST IN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clearence SALE!!!
For a limited time only!!
ALL USA LINES 100% OFF!!

You'd have saved yourself by coming to see me first Aaron!!!!

I met Brian Fellows from "The Safari Planet" African TV show!

He's a nice guy! I think we will be on his show after tomorrow's day of work! He's very intrested in what we are doing down here with the dialers! I guess the Niteline Attorney's down here have been anything but nice to the locals.

Its up to us to show the Natives here we are on a mission of peace. A mission in the name of Jesus!

I will introdce the public to 12 clicks instinctive gambling for dummies book then.

A great way to reach the Congo's mass media!

OH SHIT! I almost forgot to give Dank another round of thanx. When all the Congo shit turned out to be the wrong area, Dank again stepped up to the plate and hooked us up with tranportation. We even got a bunch of the locals involved.

http://www.aaron-matthews.com/pics/train.jpg

that train smelled like a mixture of Doritos, and Onions.

Fucking local tain people smell HORRIBLE!

I thought France was bad!

Britney's song on SNL "Going Down South" should be the theme song for our mission in the Congo...

Indeed!

What a fucking lil hottie!

Holy shit you guys fixed the lines.. My min are increasing..

2 of the 3 Jesus Dialer lines are working but we still have to find the problem with the last line. We ran out of daylight.

get some sleep aaron. We have a lot to do in the morning.

AH! There is NOTHING like a warm African morning. I woke up and was enjoying a nice hot cup of joe...er.. make that a nice cup of coffee, and then I stepped outside to get some fresh air. Pirate Nyght's house smells pretty bad. Along with a bunch of our equipment, our clothes are held up in customs so even with the shower, we are still developing bad body odor. Anyway... as I stepped outside, I heard a strange noise around the side of the house and I went to investigate. As always, I had my trusty camera with me and was able to catch the following picture before harvesting breakfast for the rest of the crew. Good thing I brought my trusty K-Bar knife along. The lion never even saw me coming before I jumped on his back. These locals use spears and guns. WTF? Act like a real man and wrestle the big pussy to the ground then slit it's throat!

http://www.aaron-matthews.com/pics/lionzebra.jpg
http://www.aaron-matthews.com/pics/deadlion.jpg

Hey Aaron its not a good idea to feed the lions!

Is your hand going to be ok... that looks really bad. If you like I can Hook you up with a second hand hook from the local pirate prosthesis shop. Just let me know.

Um, that is nice of you to offer but as you know.... that lion is dead. How was your breakfast this morning?

Phone lines in the congo...hehe..
You guys fucking crack me up...lol

Gotta make sure those people way out in the jungle can access jesus dialer..lol

I had no idea it was so cold in Africa. I noticed in the pics of you guys repairing the lines, that you are dressed warmly, and the trees have all lost their leaves. Hmmm, and all these years I thought Africa was hot.

It is hot here but these are also the Wetlands and not the Congo as originally thought. Have you ever seen how the farm workers dress in Texas and Arizona? They wear sweat clothes and bundle up. We are doing the same thing here. It traps the pirspiration in the clothing and helps to keep us cool. As for the leaves, believe it or not, fall and winter occur all over the world.

This place sucks and the dead zebra is starting to stink worse than Boneprone.

thats because bone keeps trying to hook up with it.. i overheard it on the sound feed.. he tryed the popcorn trick on it.. Damn boneprone!! when something is dead dont try your anal hobbit techniques!!!!

Just got back from the Congo.
My crew and me are a bit sick or food poisoned.

We will psot the pics and the Movie clips later tonight!

Bprone,

You should know better than to drink any water that AaronM offers you.

Rasalon:winkwink:

Bone where are the Vegas pics?

Glad to see things are back to normal.

http://www.xfrnetworks.com/other/geektent.jpg

It was from your canteen man.

Just so everybody knows... Rasalon was one of the brave crew members who took the journey with us. After we all recover from the food poisoning, we will post our adventures.


Welcome to GFY Rasalon and GO FUCK YOURSELF!