Shocking Tom Cruise and Lensman rumours..... - GoFuckYourself.com

JFK · 06-30-2005, 12:52 PM

Independent Sources

Bureaucrats?Independent Sources Confirms Existence of Tom Cruise/Lensman lieason. Independent Sources announced today that it has uncovered a new,previously undiscovered Tom Cruise rumor:
Tom Cruise and GFY's Lensman are lovers!

Independent Sources has hesitated writing about Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes for many reasons. First, there are other things going on in the world that, believe it or not, rank higher on the importance scale. Second, pretty much everything that can be said is being said.

However, someone (I'll call her Mistress of the Hollywood Rumor) just
walked into Insider's office with the following dish that I feel compelled to pass on. I did a quick check of ********** and it wasn't there. So even if it is not true, it is at least original.

No doubt that anyone with an Internet connection has read about Tom Cruise being gay. According to rumor lore, he has had a long-time boyfriend in Chicago who is an Asian pilot for American Airlines. This is an accusation that Cruise and more importantly Cruise's many attorneys vehemently deny.

There have been many stories that supposedly corroborate his sexuality but never a smoking gun. Rumor mongers attribute this to the fact that Cruise goes to great lengths to cover his tracks. We are told that everyone around him signs extensive confidentiality contracts with enormous penalties for indiscretion. (Exhibit A: the 8-page confidentiality contract Cruise's housekeeper was forced to sign).

Such stories have been around for years and Cruise has evidently attempted to counter them with a series of high-profile heteronormative relationships.

First, Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruz, and most recently Katie Holmes. In each instance, the "relationship" is actually a contract that gives the women a boost to their careers, a lot of money, and an elegant lifestyle.

Here is where this particular rumor gets interesting. Not long ago,
Eric aka Red Eyes (who has had to contend with his own rumors of bi-sexuality) found his boss in bed with Tom Cruise causing Cruise's people to shift into high gear.

First, Eric aka Red Eyes was bought off for an undetermined sum. Second, Cruise and his handlers set out to immediately find Cruise a girlfriend. Second-tier actresses were targeted. A list was drawn up with Jessica Alba (#1 pick) and three other girls who fell out for various reasons. Originally targeted (#3 I think) but later rejected as "undesirable" was rumor queen Lindsay Lohan. Way down at #5 on the list was Katie Holmes, but that was the one with whom they were able to strike a deal.

Once the contact was signed, photo ops were set up, leaks were made to the right places, and we've had celebrity relationship on steroids ever since.

One thing I will credit this rumor for is how it nicely explains Tom's behavior this past few months-including the couch jumping episode on Oprah. Cruise simply didn't have time for the Holmes rumors to circulate at its normal speed and he couldn't allow it to be second page news while the tabloids focused on Brad, Jennifer and Angelina. No, this relationship had to immediately become the "it" topic.

Well, that's how we hear it.

with apologies to videoxpix

Manowar · 06-30-2005, 12:54 PM

candyflip · 06-30-2005, 12:55 PM

This thread is useless without pics.

There's got a be one or two out there.

flirty · 06-30-2005, 12:58 PM

video would be better

Juicy D. Links · 06-30-2005, 12:59 PM

JFK · 06-30-2005, 01:29 PM

It is said that Mr Juicy D. Links is devestated by the news. After this public Display in San Diego

He thought Lens was here to stay. Calls To Mr Juicy D. Links office were not returned, he is said to be under heavy sedation

Juicy D. Links · 06-30-2005, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFK

It is said that Mr Juicy D. Links is devestated by the news. After this public Display in San Diego

He thought Lens was here to stay. Calls To Mr Juicy D. Links office were not returned, he is said to be under heavy sedation

JFK · 06-30-2005, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

that does not seem like devestation to me ...........maybee its delirium ?? Could he have gone mad with grief ??

sweetME · 06-30-2005, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFK

It is said that Mr Juicy D. Links is devestated by the news. After this public Display in San Diego

He thought Lens was here to stay. Calls To Mr Juicy D. Links office were not returned, he is said to be under heavy sedation

JFK · 06-30-2005, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetME

Lens is not laughing

tony286 · 06-30-2005, 07:45 PM

Whats Tom worth 100 mil Lensman would gladly be Mrs Cruise lol

sniperwolf · 06-30-2005, 07:53 PM

wtf...hahahahahahaha

Spunky · 06-30-2005, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

Whats Tom worth 100 mil Lensman would gladly be Mrs Cruise lol

I'm sure Lens isn't hurting

tony286 · 06-30-2005, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunky

I'm sure Lens isn't hurting

I m sure lens does well but not Tom cruise well lol

JFK · 06-30-2005, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunky

I'm sure Lens isn't hurting

I dont know about that, heard the KY was running low

Juilan · 06-30-2005, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candyflip

This thread is useless without pics.

There's got a be one or two out there.

06-30-2005, 01:29 PM	#6
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	It is said that Mr Juicy D. Links is devestated by the news. After this public Display in San Diego He thought Lens was here to stay. Calls To Mr Juicy D. Links office were not returned, he is said to be under heavy sedation __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

06-30-2005, 07:53 PM	#12
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	wtf...hahahahahahaha __________________ ~Accepting design works~

06-30-2005, 12:52 PM	#1
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	Shocking Tom Cruise and Lensman rumours..... Independent Sources Bureaucrats?Independent Sources Confirms Existence of Tom Cruise/Lensman lieason. Independent Sources announced today that it has uncovered a new,previously undiscovered Tom Cruise rumor: Tom Cruise and GFY's Lensman are lovers! Independent Sources has hesitated writing about Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes for many reasons. First, there are other things going on in the world that, believe it or not, rank higher on the importance scale. Second, pretty much everything that can be said is being said. However, someone (I'll call her Mistress of the Hollywood Rumor) just walked into Insider's office with the following dish that I feel compelled to pass on. I did a quick check of ******** and it wasn't there. So even if it is not true, it is at least original. No doubt that anyone with an Internet connection has read about Tom Cruise being gay. According to rumor lore, he has had a long-time boyfriend in Chicago who is an Asian pilot for American Airlines. This is an accusation that Cruise and more importantly Cruise's many attorneys vehemently deny. There have been many stories that supposedly corroborate his sexuality but never a smoking gun. Rumor mongers attribute this to the fact that Cruise goes to great lengths to cover his tracks. We are told that everyone around him signs extensive confidentiality contracts with enormous penalties for indiscretion. (Exhibit A: the 8-page confidentiality contract Cruise's housekeeper was forced to sign). Such stories have been around for years and Cruise has evidently attempted to counter them with a series of high-profile heteronormative relationships. First, Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruz, and most recently Katie Holmes. In each instance, the "relationship" is actually a contract that gives the women a boost to their careers, a lot of money, and an elegant lifestyle. Here is where this particular rumor gets interesting. Not long ago, Eric aka Red Eyes (who has had to contend with his own rumors of bi-sexuality) found his boss in bed with Tom Cruise causing Cruise's people to shift into high gear. First, Eric aka Red Eyes was bought off for an undetermined sum. Second, Cruise and his handlers set out to immediately find Cruise a girlfriend. Second-tier actresses were targeted. A list was drawn up with Jessica Alba (#1 pick) and three other girls who fell out for various reasons. Originally targeted (#3 I think) but later rejected as "undesirable" was rumor queen Lindsay Lohan. Way down at #5 on the list was Katie Holmes, but that was the one with whom they were able to strike a deal. Once the contact was signed, photo ops were set up, leaks were made to the right places, and we've had celebrity relationship on steroids ever since. One thing I will credit this rumor for is how it nicely explains Tom's behavior this past few months-including the couch jumping episode on Oprah. Cruise simply didn't have time for the Holmes rumors to circulate at its normal speed and he couldn't allow it to be second page news while the tabloids focused on Brad, Jennifer and Angelina. No, this relationship had to immediately become the "it" topic. Well, that's how we hear it. with apologies to videoxpix __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times** - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

06-30-2005, 12:54 PM	#2
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

06-30-2005, 12:55 PM	#3
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,067	This thread is useless without pics. There's got a be one or two out there. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

06-30-2005, 12:58 PM	#4
flirty Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,840	video would be better

06-30-2005, 12:59 PM	#5
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992

06-30-2005, 07:45 PM	#11
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	Whats Tom worth 100 mil Lensman would gladly be Mrs Cruise lol