Pentagon Urges School Bake Sales To Pay For Iraqi War! - GoFuckYourself.com

kenny · 06-19-2005, 05:23 AM

IN an attempt to help pay for the $147 billion cost of the war in Iraq, the Pentagon is encouraging schools to hold bake sales and donate the profits to the armed forces!

"Every little bit helps," explains Pentagon spokesperson Tom Hagen. "Any school interested should contact the Pentagon for our Sweets For Soldiers Kit, which contains everything a school needs to put on a successful bake sale." Included in the kit are hallway banners that read, "Buy A Cookie & Help Our Soldiers Slaughter Terrorist Slime!" and "Your Pie Purchase Today Brings Us That Much Closer to Sending Osama to Hell!" The kit contains recipes for such patriotic treats as Bunker-Buster Brownies, Tomahawk Missile Turnover, and Humvee Honeycake.

"This is an outrage," complains a Massachusetts Board of Education insider. "Shame on the Pentagon for enlisting innocent children in a war half the country believes is wrong!" Still, over 17,000 orders for the Sweets for Soldiers Kits have been filled and the Pentagon is hard-pressed to keep up with the demand. Due to this program's success, the White House is suggesting that the Department of the Interior encourage schools to hold wrapping paper sales and donate the profits to help cut down trees and drill for oil throughout America.

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61691

Corleone · 06-19-2005, 05:33 AM

america is going down..

David! · 06-19-2005, 05:44 AM

You forgot to mention that Nazi UFO'S are supposed to attack the US according to the Weekly World News

bringer · 06-19-2005, 05:44 AM

this article is better!
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61692

bringer · 06-19-2005, 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PussyMan

You forgot to mention that Nazi UFO'S are supposed to attack the US according to the Weekly World News

bah!

kenny · 06-19-2005, 05:46 AM

shhh...

I wanted to see how many people would jump on this

jollyperv · 06-19-2005, 05:50 AM

So god damn fucking pathetic.

rickholio · 06-19-2005, 05:54 AM

I wonder... is that stuff still funny when it gets that close to reality?

For example, here's a story about a marine from Mesa, Arizona who's dad had to foot the bill to buy body armour and other basic supplies, on the direct advice of his superiors.

50% of the worlds military expenditure is done by the US, yet soldiers gotta buy their own shit before shipping out?

Wacky shit.

David! · 06-19-2005, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kenny

shhh...

I wanted to see how many people would jump on this

Don't worry, most will only read the first post anyways

Machete_ · 06-19-2005, 05:58 AM

love this one
"FAT TEEN FIGHTS OFF GATOR WITH HER BARE HANDS!"
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/chamber/61598

Alex · 06-19-2005, 06:09 AM

I only read the first post and already called bullshit.

You guys are fucking idiots for even trying to pull this bullshit, i bet you beleived it at first too huh?

kenny · 06-19-2005, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

I only read the first post and already called bullshit.

You guys are fucking idiots for even trying to pull this bullshit, i bet you beleived it at first too huh?

No actually I got the idea from this thread:

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=469269

and no.. I didn't believe it

Matt_WildCash · 06-19-2005, 06:36 AM

Soldiers need hummers, donate money now LOL

swedguy · 06-19-2005, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PussyMan

You forgot to mention that Nazi UFO'S are supposed to attack the US according to the Weekly World News

hahahaha, I saw that one too. Seems like a reliable source

Manowar · 06-19-2005, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt_WC

Soldiers need hummers

BuggyG · 06-19-2005, 12:29 PM

only $147 billion??
or is that the per week/month total??

woj · 06-19-2005, 01:02 PM

funny, but I wouldn't be THAT surprised if it was real, heh

Relish XXX · 06-19-2005, 01:03 PM

I love it how that everyone on this board is richer than America thanks to Bush.

DWB · 06-19-2005, 02:45 PM

The sad thing is that I could see that happening.

06-19-2005, 05:23 AM	#1
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	Pentagon Urges School Bake Sales To Pay For Iraqi War! IN an attempt to help pay for the $147 billion cost of the war in Iraq, the Pentagon is encouraging schools to hold bake sales and donate the profits to the armed forces! "Every little bit helps," explains Pentagon spokesperson Tom Hagen. "Any school interested should contact the Pentagon for our Sweets For Soldiers Kit, which contains everything a school needs to put on a successful bake sale." Included in the kit are hallway banners that read, "Buy A Cookie & Help Our Soldiers Slaughter Terrorist Slime!" and "Your Pie Purchase Today Brings Us That Much Closer to Sending Osama to Hell!" The kit contains recipes for such patriotic treats as Bunker-Buster Brownies, Tomahawk Missile Turnover, and Humvee Honeycake. "This is an outrage," complains a Massachusetts Board of Education insider. "Shame on the Pentagon for enlisting innocent children in a war half the country believes is wrong!" Still, over 17,000 orders for the Sweets for Soldiers Kits have been filled and the Pentagon is hard-pressed to keep up with the demand. Due to this program's success, the White House is suggesting that the Department of the Interior encourage schools to hold wrapping paper sales and donate the profits to help cut down trees and drill for oil throughout America. http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61691 __________________ 7

06-19-2005, 05:44 AM	#3
David! By the wrath of Agamemnon Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Miami Posts: 6,501	You forgot to mention that Nazi UFO'S are supposed to attack the US according to the Weekly World News __________________ .

06-19-2005, 05:44 AM	#4
bringer i have man boobies Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: van down by the river Posts: 13,082	this article is better! http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61692 __________________ 333-765-551

06-19-2005, 05:46 AM	#6
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	shhh... I wanted to see how many people would jump on this __________________ 7

06-19-2005, 05:54 AM	#8
rickholio Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Nor'easterland Posts: 1,914	I wonder... is that stuff still funny when it gets that close to reality? For example, here's a story about a marine from Mesa, Arizona who's dad had to foot the bill to buy body armour and other basic supplies, on the direct advice of his superiors. 50% of the worlds military expenditure is done by the US, yet soldiers gotta buy their own shit before shipping out? Wacky shit. __________________ ~ Last edited by rickholio; 06-19-2005 at 05:56 AM..

06-19-2005, 05:33 AM	#2
Corleone C.R.E.A.M Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,262	america is going down..

06-19-2005, 05:50 AM	#7
jollyperv Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: NYC Posts: 3,927	So god damn fucking pathetic.

06-19-2005, 05:58 AM	#10
Machete_ WINNING! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,579	love this one "FAT TEEN FIGHTS OFF GATOR WITH HER BARE HANDS!" http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/chamber/61598

06-19-2005, 06:09 AM	#11
Alex So Fucking Banned (YEA!!) Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 10,963	I only read the first post and already called bullshit. You guys are fucking idiots for even trying to pull this bullshit, i bet you beleived it at first too huh? __________________ Care about me? Who? Me! Who?

06-19-2005, 06:36 AM	#13
Matt_WildCash Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,699	Soldiers need hummers, donate money now LOL

06-19-2005, 12:29 PM	#16
BuggyG Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ottawa Posts: 4,179	only $147 billion?? or is that the per week/month total??

06-19-2005, 01:02 PM	#17
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	funny, but I wouldn't be THAT surprised if it was real, heh __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

06-19-2005, 01:03 PM	#18
Relish XXX Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: www.adultlabel.com Posts: 4,904	I love it how that everyone on this board is richer than America thanks to Bush. __________________

06-19-2005, 02:45 PM	#19
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	The sad thing is that I could see that happening.