My Rabbi walked in on me masturbating. - GoFuckYourself.com

painintheass · 05-01-2005, 09:25 AM

I was sitting at my computer surfing porn sites masturbating with a pepperoni stick. When my Rabbi walked in on me.

He calmly explained to me that masturbation was natural and showed me a few pornsites I could surf of nice jewish boys.

But he was very angry that I was using something so un-kosher as a peperoni to masturbate with. I figured I wasn't eating it so it was ok.

But if my rabbi say's it isn't kosher it isn't kosher. But I can't help wondering if I circumsize off the tip will that make it kosher?

As a good jewish woman is onah not my right? Afterall I'm not married what should I do?

XxXotic · 05-01-2005, 09:28 AM

mazeltov!

painintheass · 05-01-2005, 09:56 AM

At last a truly Kosher bite!

Manowar · 05-01-2005, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by painintheass

At last a truly Kosher bite!

mardigras · 05-01-2005, 10:00 AM

Convert to Catholicism, they're cool with pepperoni

nofx · 05-01-2005, 10:02 AM

i'm glad he didnt use some Zyklon-B on you

wjxxx · 05-01-2005, 12:11 PM

05-01-2005, 09:25 AM	#1
painintheass So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Paris Posts: 838	My Rabbi walked in on me masturbating. I was sitting at my computer surfing porn sites masturbating with a pepperoni stick. When my Rabbi walked in on me. He calmly explained to me that masturbation was natural and showed me a few pornsites I could surf of nice jewish boys. But he was very angry that I was using something so un-kosher as a peperoni to masturbate with. I figured I wasn't eating it so it was ok. But if my rabbi say's it isn't kosher it isn't kosher. But I can't help wondering if I circumsize off the tip will that make it kosher? As a good jewish woman is onah not my right? Afterall I'm not married what should I do?

05-01-2005, 09:28 AM	#2
XxXotic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Da Swamps Posts: 8,500	mazeltov! __________________ Sponsors.. Tired of people not using your shitty RSS Feeds? Let Us Help You! Oxeo - Serious Hosting For Serious Webmasters. iCQ:135.887013

05-01-2005, 10:00 AM	#5
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	Convert to Catholicism, they're cool with pepperoni __________________ .

05-01-2005, 10:02 AM	#6
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	i'm glad he didnt use some Zyklon-B on you __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

05-01-2005, 09:56 AM	#3
painintheass So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Paris Posts: 838	At last a truly Kosher bite!

05-01-2005, 12:11 PM	#7
wjxxx So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,448