My Rabbi walked in on me masturbating.
 

I was sitting at my computer surfing porn sites masturbating with a pepperoni stick. When my Rabbi walked in on me.

He calmly explained to me that masturbation was natural and showed me a few pornsites I could surf of nice jewish boys.

But he was very angry that I was using something so un-kosher as a peperoni to masturbate with. I figured I wasn't eating it so it was ok.

But if my rabbi say's it isn't kosher it isn't kosher. But I can't help wondering if I circumsize off the tip will that make it kosher?

As a good jewish woman is onah not my right? Afterall I'm not married what should I do?

mazeltov!

At last a truly Kosher bite!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Convert to Catholicism, they're cool with pepperoni :thumbsup

i'm glad he didnt use some Zyklon-B on you

:helpme :helpme