For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity... - GoFuckYourself.com

erehwon · 04-27-2005, 08:40 PM

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threaten to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

brizzad · 04-27-2005, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erehwon

For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity...

this is GFY.. try a different title for more thread views

reynold · 04-28-2005, 02:54 AM

hey, those are great questions! made me think! lol

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 04-28-2005, 02:56 AM

Yes this is true.

xclusive · 04-28-2005, 02:56 AM

great thread

Fizzgig · 04-28-2005, 03:04 AM

#33 cracked me up. Great post!

erehwon · 04-28-2005, 10:07 AM

Bump for the day crew...

mardigras · 04-28-2005, 10:55 AM

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

woj · 04-28-2005, 12:21 PM

pretty cool

04-27-2005, 08:40 PM	#1
erehwon Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: A secure undisclosed location... Posts: 3,759	For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity... 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor..... 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions? 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 9. If someone with multiple personalities threaten to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 10. Is there another word for synonym? 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 25. How is it possible to have a civil war? 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it? 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? 33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented? 34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God? __________________ Money NEVER $leep$...

04-28-2005, 02:56 AM	#4
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE best designer on GFY Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IALIEN.COM - High Definition Video and Photographic Productions -ICQ 78943384 Posts: 30,307	Yes this is true. __________________ NAKED HOSTING FTW!11 I'm On The INSANE PLAN $9.95/mo! \| The Alien Blog Adult News Worth Reading Updated Daily \| Content For Sale! 641 PICS 216 MINUTES OF VIDEO $350.00 \|ICQ: 78943384 \|

04-28-2005, 02:56 AM	#5
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	great thread __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

04-28-2005, 03:04 AM	#6
Fizzgig Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: In Your Dreams Posts: 9,649	#33 cracked me up. Great post! __________________ ---'-,-{@ Sassy Grrrl @}-'-,---

04-28-2005, 10:07 AM	#7
erehwon Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: A secure undisclosed location... Posts: 3,759	Bump for the day crew... __________________ Money NEVER $leep$...

04-28-2005, 02:54 AM	#3
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	hey, those are great questions! made me think! lol

04-28-2005, 10:55 AM	#8
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	Can you be a closet claustrophobic? __________________ .

04-28-2005, 12:21 PM	#9
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	pretty cool __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager