Stupid! Stupid! StUpiD!! - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 04-24-2005, 05:51 PM

News items that didn't quite make the Darwin awards (but still good!)

Wrong Gun
Virginia
A man on a bicycle approached three well-dressed men with what appeared to be a 9 mm semiautomatic handgun. As the man demanded money, the three gentlemen--off-duty federal agents--drew their weapons and fired more than 20 shots. Along with the would-be robber, three cars, a truck, two homes, and an office building suffered bullet wounds. The injured suspect's weapon turned out to be a pellet gun.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Security Camera
Unknown
One criminal broke into the basement of a bank through a street-level window. In the process, however, he suffered from several lacerations. After he realized that he could neither get the money nor climb back through the window from whence he came, the robber panicked. Realizing he was going to bleed to death if he did not get help, he located a phone and dialed 911. The rest, as they say, is history.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha=

Miscalculation
France
Recently in France, two criminals decided it would be genius to break into a bank from a neighboring building. They decided to drill through the wall so they could reach the banks vault. After hours of exhausting labor, they finally broke through. Upon entering the room, however, they discovered that had miscalculated the location of the vault and were instead standing in the middle of the restroom.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha

The Club
Rochester, New York
John Schieman, 37, thought the best time to steal a car would be when its owner was getting out. As his would-be-victim, Robin Van Bortle, 32, was attaching The Club, to her steering wheel, Schieman made his move. Startled, the astute woman reacting by beating Schieman over the head with the antitheft device. The budding criminal was charged with robbery, assault, and grand larceny.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha=

Don't Mess With Granny
Unknown
An elderly woman spent a leisurely shopping at the mall. Upon return to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha=

Really Gotta Go
Gainesville, Georgia
Charged with speeding, this Gainesville man made his appearance in court. Though he was reportedly going ninety in a twenty-five zone, the man plead innocent. He told the judge that he had taken a laxative and was thus in a rush to get home.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha

I'm 21!!!
Unknown
A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha=

No Warrant
Pontiac, Michigan
Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in John's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell out. The judge required a five minute recess so that he could gain his composure.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Wrong Tire
Unknown
A man had a flat tire and pulled over on the highway to change it. A police officer pulled up behind him to give him cover. The man changed the tire and got in his car when the police turned on his sirens. The man was arrested for DUI. The police did not realize he was drunk until he changed the wrong tire.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Purse Snatcher ID
Unknown
A man carrying a woman's purse was picked up on the street as he matched the description of a purse snatcher reported just a few seconds earlier. The policeman told the thief that he would be taking him to the woman for positive identification. When they returned to the scene of the crime, the criminal said, "Yes, that is the lady I robbed all right."

:D

tony286 · 04-24-2005, 05:53 PM

those are too funny

who · 04-24-2005, 06:01 PM

Gimme more

2HousePlague · 04-24-2005, 06:04 PM

That WAS extremely funny...

Incidences of the letter "h" in your post = 841
Incidences of the letter "a" in your post = 870
Total Letter Count (no spaces) = 4,935

j-

CDSmith · 04-24-2005, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2HousePlague

That WAS extremely funny...

Incidences of the letter "h" in your post = 841
Incidences of the letter "a" in your post = 870
Total Letter Count (no spaces) = 4,935

Wow.... you're like The Count from sesame street.

One! One "H"
ah ha ha ha
Two! Two "H's"
ah ha ah ha

Triple 6 · 04-24-2005, 06:10 PM

lol good read, thanks.

TurboAngel · 04-24-2005, 06:58 PM

ozmatt · 04-24-2005, 07:16 PM

hehe nice one. the granny one is great

tungsten · 04-24-2005, 07:19 PM

gotta love stupid people

Spunky · 04-24-2005, 07:20 PM

Lol..crime doesn't pay for a stupid criminal

Wiggles · 04-24-2005, 08:41 PM

the darwin awards are hilarious, i read those every year

CDSmith · 04-24-2005, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ozmatt

hehe nice one. the granny one is great

That's the one out of that batch that I'd actually read before now. It is priceless.

If any of you guys have any more newsbits like these, or anything funny at all, send them to me at: submissions at jokesbee dot com.

Illicit · 04-24-2005, 10:13 PM

Good Read... Im surprised I read the whole thing !

Shortbread · 04-24-2005, 11:13 PM

OMG, the one about the granny is priceless.

Marcus Aurelius · 04-24-2005, 11:16 PM

"Really Gotta Go
Gainesville, Georgia
Charged with speeding, this Gainesville man made his appearance in court. Though he was reportedly going ninety in a twenty-five zone, the man plead innocent. He told the judge that he had taken a laxative and was thus in a rush to get home."

This is my hometown, I can verify that one is true.

evilmaster · 04-24-2005, 11:17 PM

Nice read...

Manowar · 04-24-2005, 11:35 PM

Redrob · 04-24-2005, 11:35 PM

They have to be true. They are too clever.

foxylady · 04-25-2005, 12:11 AM

nice to read

Sams_gfy · 04-25-2005, 05:39 AM

Adultnet · 04-25-2005, 06:29 AM

lol strong stories mate..

04-24-2005, 05:51 PM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Stupid! Stupid! StUpiD!! News items that didn't quite make the Darwin awards (but still good!) Wrong Gun Virginia A man on a bicycle approached three well-dressed men with what appeared to be a 9 mm semiautomatic handgun. As the man demanded money, the three gentlemen--off-duty federal agents--drew their weapons and fired more than 20 shots. Along with the would-be robber, three cars, a truck, two homes, and an office building suffered bullet wounds. The injured suspect's weapon turned out to be a pellet gun. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Security Camera Unknown One criminal broke into the basement of a bank through a street-level window. In the process, however, he suffered from several lacerations. After he realized that he could neither get the money nor climb back through the window from whence he came, the robber panicked. Realizing he was going to bleed to death if he did not get help, he located a phone and dialed 911. The rest, as they say, is history. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha= Miscalculation France Recently in France, two criminals decided it would be genius to break into a bank from a neighboring building. They decided to drill through the wall so they could reach the banks vault. After hours of exhausting labor, they finally broke through. Upon entering the room, however, they discovered that had miscalculated the location of the vault and were instead standing in the middle of the restroom. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha The Club Rochester, New York John Schieman, 37, thought the best time to steal a car would be when its owner was getting out. As his would-be-victim, Robin Van Bortle, 32, was attaching The Club, to her steering wheel, Schieman made his move. Startled, the astute woman reacting by beating Schieman over the head with the antitheft device. The budding criminal was charged with robbery, assault, and grand larceny. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha= Don't Mess With Granny Unknown An elderly woman spent a leisurely shopping at the mall. Upon return to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha= Really Gotta Go Gainesville, Georgia Charged with speeding, this Gainesville man made his appearance in court. Though he was reportedly going ninety in a twenty-five zone, the man plead innocent. He told the judge that he had taken a laxative and was thus in a rush to get home. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha I'm 21!!! Unknown A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha= No Warrant Pontiac, Michigan Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in John's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell out. The judge required a five minute recess so that he could gain his composure. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Wrong Tire Unknown A man had a flat tire and pulled over on the highway to change it. A police officer pulled up behind him to give him cover. The man changed the tire and got in his car when the police turned on his sirens. The man was arrested for DUI. The police did not realize he was drunk until he changed the wrong tire. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Purse Snatcher ID Unknown A man carrying a woman's purse was picked up on the street as he matched the description of a purse snatcher reported just a few seconds earlier. The policeman told the thief that he would be taking him to the woman for positive identification. When they returned to the scene of the crime, the criminal said, "Yes, that is the lady I robbed all right." :D __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

04-24-2005, 06:04 PM	#4
2HousePlague CURATOR Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: the attic Posts: 14,572	That WAS extremely funny... Incidences of the letter "h" in your post = 841 Incidences of the letter "a" in your post = 870 Total Letter Count (no spaces) = 4,935 j- __________________ tada! Last edited by 2HousePlague; 04-24-2005 at 06:05 PM..

04-24-2005, 06:10 PM	#6
Triple 6 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: isN'T everything Posts: 5,394	lol good read, thanks. __________________ SIG TOO SMALL! Maximum 1200x600 button and no more than 30 text lines of ALL SIZES and COLORS. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 6240x4800 instead of a 1024x800.

04-24-2005, 07:16 PM	#8
ozmatt Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: brisvegas, australia Posts: 1,843	hehe nice one. the granny one is great __________________ NEW NEW Pimpin Pays Version 2 NEW NEW *** * * AIM - pwize69 - ICQ - 4664 7757 - EMAIL** - matt at pimpinpays dot com * PIMPIN DESIGN - $699 PAYSITES * HIT ME UP NOW - PIMPINPAYS.COM

04-24-2005, 07:19 PM	#9
tungsten Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 10,579	gotta love stupid people __________________ VOYEUR /HOMEMADE, HENTAI / CARTOON, Reality, Amateur, Shemale, Hardcore, Cuckold, Celebrity, Retro/Vintage, ect...ALL OUR SITES >> Unbelievable Ratio \| High % of Rebills \| Bi-Monthly Payments (also to E-Passporte) Ton's of EXCLUSIVE Free content & FHG's \|=> GREAT REVENUE $$$ GUARANTEED!

04-24-2005, 05:53 PM	#2
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	those are too funny

04-24-2005, 06:01 PM	#3
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	Gimme more

04-24-2005, 06:58 PM	#7
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122

04-24-2005, 07:20 PM	#10
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	Lol..crime doesn't pay for a stupid criminal __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

04-24-2005, 08:41 PM	#11
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	the darwin awards are hilarious, i read those every year __________________ no sig

04-24-2005, 10:13 PM	#13
Illicit wtf ? Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: GFY Posts: 11,895	Good Read... Im surprised I read the whole thing ! __________________ Insert Sig Here

04-24-2005, 11:13 PM	#14
Shortbread Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,181	OMG, the one about the granny is priceless. __________________ http://www.makingcoin.com http://www.coinscuties.com 203813007

04-24-2005, 11:16 PM	#15
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	"Really Gotta Go Gainesville, Georgia Charged with speeding, this Gainesville man made his appearance in court. Though he was reportedly going ninety in a twenty-five zone, the man plead innocent. He told the judge that he had taken a laxative and was thus in a rush to get home." This is my hometown, I can verify that one is true.

04-24-2005, 11:17 PM	#16
evilmaster Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,281	Nice read...

04-24-2005, 11:35 PM	#17
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

04-24-2005, 11:35 PM	#18
Redrob Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: In a refrigerator box by the tracks. Posts: 4,791	They have to be true. They are too clever.

04-25-2005, 12:11 AM	#19
foxylady Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 1,829	nice to read __________________

04-25-2005, 05:39 AM	#20
Sams_gfy Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in your imagination... Posts: 491	__________________ Work with PPC SE ( Umax, 3FN Marketing) and GET PAID FOR EVERY CLICK !!! Next step after PPC - Pay Per Lead/Action Good, filtered traffic: Chocker, Traffic Holder \|\| My favourite hosting: HQ Host

04-25-2005, 06:29 AM	#21
Adultnet Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 8,713	lol strong stories mate.. __________________ TrafficCashGold Paying Webmasters Since 1996! Awesome Conversions! Fast Weekly Payments! Over 125 Tours!