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News items that didn't quite make the Darwin awards (but still good!)

Wrong Gun
Virginia
A man on a bicycle approached three well-dressed men with what appeared to be a 9 mm semiautomatic handgun. As the man demanded money, the three gentlemen--off-duty federal agents--drew their weapons and fired more than 20 shots. Along with the would-be robber, three cars, a truck, two homes, and an office building suffered bullet wounds. The injured suspect's weapon turned out to be a pellet gun.

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Security Camera
Unknown
One criminal broke into the basement of a bank through a street-level window. In the process, however, he suffered from several lacerations. After he realized that he could neither get the money nor climb back through the window from whence he came, the robber panicked. Realizing he was going to bleed to death if he did not get help, he located a phone and dialed 911. The rest, as they say, is history.

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Miscalculation
France
Recently in France, two criminals decided it would be genius to break into a bank from a neighboring building. They decided to drill through the wall so they could reach the banks vault. After hours of exhausting labor, they finally broke through. Upon entering the room, however, they discovered that had miscalculated the location of the vault and were instead standing in the middle of the restroom.

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The Club
Rochester, New York
John Schieman, 37, thought the best time to steal a car would be when its owner was getting out. As his would-be-victim, Robin Van Bortle, 32, was attaching The Club, to her steering wheel, Schieman made his move. Startled, the astute woman reacting by beating Schieman over the head with the antitheft device. The budding criminal was charged with robbery, assault, and grand larceny.

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Don't Mess With Granny
Unknown
An elderly woman spent a leisurely shopping at the mall. Upon return to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed.

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Really Gotta Go
Gainesville, Georgia
Charged with speeding, this Gainesville man made his appearance in court. Though he was reportedly going ninety in a twenty-five zone, the man plead innocent. He told the judge that he had taken a laxative and was thus in a rush to get home.

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I'm 21!!!
Unknown
A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later.

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No Warrant
Pontiac, Michigan
Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in John's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell out. The judge required a five minute recess so that he could gain his composure.

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Wrong Tire
Unknown
A man had a flat tire and pulled over on the highway to change it. A police officer pulled up behind him to give him cover. The man changed the tire and got in his car when the police turned on his sirens. The man was arrested for DUI. The police did not realize he was drunk until he changed the wrong tire.

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Purse Snatcher ID
Unknown
A man carrying a woman's purse was picked up on the street as he matched the description of a purse snatcher reported just a few seconds earlier. The policeman told the thief that he would be taking him to the woman for positive identification. When they returned to the scene of the crime, the criminal said, "Yes, that is the lady I robbed all right."

:D