What's the most humbling/sobering moment of your life? - GoFuckYourself.com

schiz · 04-23-2005, 11:16 PM

I feel like being social on GFY tonight. My question about who doesn't drink got me thinking.

What's the most humbling/sobering moment or memory of your life? I'm asking about humbling moments, and not embarrassing moments, unless yours is one and the same.

I have a couple, both of which are from my childhood. They've affected me in the way I live my life as an adult.

First one is as a child, I was very poor. I didn't understand it very well at the time. As I look back, I know that my mom often did without, so I could have certain things. I know that's what a parent is supposed to do, but to look back and see where she would skip a meal so I could have food is something that humbles me greatly.

Second one is when I was 6 or 7, my dad would get piss drunk and beat my mom in front of me. One night, he was beating my mom senseless in the kitchen, which I could clearly see from my bedroom. He then came into my room, asked me who I wanted to live with: him or my mom. Of course, I said my mom. He then flipped my bed over on me and went back in and beat her some more. It wasn't until I was 17 or so that I stopped blaming myself for that night. That was also the night that I helped my mom clean her blood off of the kitchen floor.

And just because I feel "talkative," things are much better now. It took my mom putting a shotgun to his head and threatening his life to make him go away, but it worked. She's never been the same because of his beatings. She's a very strong woman though. Also, last year, while my grandfather laid next to us on life support, I confronted my dad about all of this. I told him how I truly felt about him and his actions, which I could tell crushed him. I shouldn't have felt pleasure from it, but in a sick, sadistical way I did. I think it may have been because I knew what I said to him would impact him and the way he thought about things. No father wants to hear, "if I was to ever turn out anything like you, I'd kill myself."

Ok. Enough ranting. Just up and bored. Felt like getting some conversations going

Paul Markham · 04-23-2005, 11:29 PM

Watching my first daughter being born.

Getting a phone call from my brother to tell me Dad had died.

Marrying Eva.

Holding our second daughter for the first time.

BlingDaddy · 04-23-2005, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charly

Watching my first daughter being born.

Getting a phone call from my brother to tell me Dad had died.

Marrying Eva.

Holding our second daughter for the first time.

Same - Seeing my son born. The only time I've "wept" for as long as I can remember. He has and continues to change my life daily.

Secondly Schiz - Thanks for sharing with us. Where you should take self reliance from is where you are today, and where you will go. Take care of your mother, make peace with your father in some way, and make sure that the same mistakes are not made in the future.

schiz · 04-23-2005, 11:39 PM

My mom tells me that I need to have kids. Now I see why

MrIzzz · 04-23-2005, 11:41 PM

the time i layed there on the florr after my motorcycle accident and realized i was still alive. funny how i used to think i was immortal till that car cut me off that night and i tasted my mortality for the first time

schiz · 04-23-2005, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrIzzz

the time i layed there on the florr after my motorcycle accident and realized i was still alive. funny how i used to think i was immortal till that car cut me off that night and i tasted my mortality for the first time

How long ago was that? How bad were you hurt?

That's how one of my uncles died. My family had to go back and clean up some of the mess that the city missed

You're a lucky guy.

tical · 04-24-2005, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrIzzz

the time i layed there on the florr after my motorcycle accident and realized i was still alive. funny how i used to think i was immortal till that car cut me off that night and i tasted my mortality for the first time

thank god you made it!

swedguy · 04-24-2005, 06:12 AM

It was 2 days after the Tsunami disaster.

When the Tsunami hit the coast I could not get myself to do anything but to think of the people down there. I tried to arrange a flight down there. I called Red Cross in all the affected countries, contacted all the affected embassies and told them that if they need help, just let me know. I did everything I could think of, but I couldn't get anything to fall through.

When 2 days had passed it was like someone had punched me in the stomach, I was supposed to have been there. Me and 2 other friends had planned a kayaking trip from Malaysia to Burma, but late last summer we had to postpone it due to an unfortunate incident. For a long time I couldn't move, I was supposed to have been ON the ocean when the wave would've come. Wouldn't be much left of us today, if we were there.

Short after that the Sri Lankan embassy got back to me and said they needed help. So I dropped everything and got on a 9 hour bus trip on New Years Eve. I stayed with them for ~1 week and it was incredible. We packed 50 containers filled with clothes, tents, medical supplies and everything else they would need. Being there and putting it in boxes knowing that a person in need would use this, that was true joy. Lots of tears were shed.

After a week I had to go home to take care of a business issue and when I was sitting on the bus, I got my second punch in the stomach. A business issue? It was nothing where people would die if I didn't take care of it, but a day earlier I had felt that it was more important than people in need. I felt like shit. Two days later they called from the embassy again and I was really happy that I got to go up there again. After less than a week up there they closed down the aid shipments since we didn't have anything more to send.

I met so many people up there that had the same goal, help people in need. Heard so many stories from people that had just come home from SE Asia, some where the whole group didn't come home. I got invited to the embassy for a dinner too and listen to stories from the Chargé d'affair and the rest of the embassy people.

That was a life changing experience. Helping other people gives your own life so much more meaning than anything else that you can buy. I have always known and felt that way, but I've never felt it as strongly as after that.
So my goal now is to work for 8 months and volunteer somewhere in the world for 3-4 months.

arnette · 04-24-2005, 06:20 AM

when i was told i had cancer, although it wasnt that moment that had the effect, it was a few months later when i faced what that actually meant

Odin88 · 04-24-2005, 06:26 AM

I don't know if this really counts, but I think it would of been when my father passed away. I was only 13 (nearly 14) at the time, and although people around me had pointed out he was getting ill I still looked at him as the strongest man in the world. He didn't live with us at the time and first I found out he was in hospital was the day he died. I remember when I was going through his house a few days later I came across a 2 week old passport type picture of him and I couldn't believe how ill he looked. Today I keep the picture on the table beside me to remind me to pay better attention to the ones I love.

Manowar · 04-24-2005, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tical

thank god you made it!

04-23-2005, 11:16 PM	#1
schiz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Middle of a cornfield Posts: 1,103	What's the most humbling/sobering moment of your life? I feel like being social on GFY tonight. My question about who doesn't drink got me thinking. What's the most humbling/sobering moment or memory of your life? I'm asking about humbling moments, and not embarrassing moments, unless yours is one and the same. I have a couple, both of which are from my childhood. They've affected me in the way I live my life as an adult. First one is as a child, I was very poor. I didn't understand it very well at the time. As I look back, I know that my mom often did without, so I could have certain things. I know that's what a parent is supposed to do, but to look back and see where she would skip a meal so I could have food is something that humbles me greatly. Second one is when I was 6 or 7, my dad would get piss drunk and beat my mom in front of me. One night, he was beating my mom senseless in the kitchen, which I could clearly see from my bedroom. He then came into my room, asked me who I wanted to live with: him or my mom. Of course, I said my mom. He then flipped my bed over on me and went back in and beat her some more. It wasn't until I was 17 or so that I stopped blaming myself for that night. That was also the night that I helped my mom clean her blood off of the kitchen floor. And just because I feel "talkative," things are much better now. It took my mom putting a shotgun to his head and threatening his life to make him go away, but it worked. She's never been the same because of his beatings. She's a very strong woman though. Also, last year, while my grandfather laid next to us on life support, I confronted my dad about all of this. I told him how I truly felt about him and his actions, which I could tell crushed him. I shouldn't have felt pleasure from it, but in a sick, sadistical way I did. I think it may have been because I knew what I said to him would impact him and the way he thought about things. No father wants to hear, "if I was to ever turn out anything like you, I'd kill myself." Ok. Enough ranting. Just up and bored. Felt like getting some conversations going

04-23-2005, 11:29 PM	#2
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	Watching my first daughter being born. Getting a phone call from my brother to tell me Dad had died. Marrying Eva. Holding our second daughter for the first time. __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

04-23-2005, 11:41 PM	#5
MrIzzz If u touch it, I will cum Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: long island Posts: 22,923	the time i layed there on the florr after my motorcycle accident and realized i was still alive. funny how i used to think i was immortal till that car cut me off that night and i tasted my mortality for the first time __________________ WHO WANTS TO PLAY GRAB-ASS?

04-23-2005, 11:39 PM	#4
schiz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Middle of a cornfield Posts: 1,103	My mom tells me that I need to have kids. Now I see why

04-24-2005, 06:12 AM	#8
swedguy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 7,981	It was 2 days after the Tsunami disaster. When the Tsunami hit the coast I could not get myself to do anything but to think of the people down there. I tried to arrange a flight down there. I called Red Cross in all the affected countries, contacted all the affected embassies and told them that if they need help, just let me know. I did everything I could think of, but I couldn't get anything to fall through. When 2 days had passed it was like someone had punched me in the stomach, I was supposed to have been there. Me and 2 other friends had planned a kayaking trip from Malaysia to Burma, but late last summer we had to postpone it due to an unfortunate incident. For a long time I couldn't move, I was supposed to have been ON the ocean when the wave would've come. Wouldn't be much left of us today, if we were there. Short after that the Sri Lankan embassy got back to me and said they needed help. So I dropped everything and got on a 9 hour bus trip on New Years Eve. I stayed with them for ~1 week and it was incredible. We packed 50 containers filled with clothes, tents, medical supplies and everything else they would need. Being there and putting it in boxes knowing that a person in need would use this, that was true joy. Lots of tears were shed. After a week I had to go home to take care of a business issue and when I was sitting on the bus, I got my second punch in the stomach. A business issue? It was nothing where people would die if I didn't take care of it, but a day earlier I had felt that it was more important than people in need. I felt like shit. Two days later they called from the embassy again and I was really happy that I got to go up there again. After less than a week up there they closed down the aid shipments since we didn't have anything more to send. I met so many people up there that had the same goal, help people in need. Heard so many stories from people that had just come home from SE Asia, some where the whole group didn't come home. I got invited to the embassy for a dinner too and listen to stories from the Chargé d'affair and the rest of the embassy people. That was a life changing experience. Helping other people gives your own life so much more meaning than anything else that you can buy. I have always known and felt that way, but I've never felt it as strongly as after that. So my goal now is to work for 8 months and volunteer somewhere in the world for 3-4 months.

04-24-2005, 06:20 AM	#9
arnette Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 283	when i was told i had cancer, although it wasnt that moment that had the effect, it was a few months later when i faced what that actually meant

04-24-2005, 06:26 AM	#10
Odin88 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: au Posts: 3,267	I don't know if this really counts, but I think it would of been when my father passed away. I was only 13 (nearly 14) at the time, and although people around me had pointed out he was getting ill I still looked at him as the strongest man in the world. He didn't live with us at the time and first I found out he was in hospital was the day he died. I remember when I was going through his house a few days later I came across a 2 week old passport type picture of him and I couldn't believe how ill he looked. Today I keep the picture on the table beside me to remind me to pay better attention to the ones I love.