Why is it that when you do things for people.... - GoFuckYourself.com

AaronM · 04-15-2005, 11:44 PM

...Many of them come back and accuse you of trying to fuck them over?

I have continuously helped a "friend" out over the last 6-8 months. This person has NOTHING. No money, no car, basic belongings only, I gave them half of their furniture......You get the picture.

So today I was talking to them and could sense that something was wrong so I asked what was going on. Then I get blindsided with some shit that they think I am out to fuck them over.

Now, if we were to add up all the small loans, gas money for the rides I have given, countless hours of help in all sorts of ways.......The way I see it, they owe me big time. Yet, I am not looking for anything in return. It's called being a fucking friend. A concept that apparently the majority of people are not familiar with.

So...Exactly how the the hell am I gonna screw somebody over who owes me money, has fuck all to offer me, and nothing for me to take from them?

Mike Okitch · 04-15-2005, 11:46 PM

Lots of people are just ingrates. If that's how he repays you, I'd say it's time to cut him loose.

CDSmith · 04-15-2005, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike Okitch

cut him loose.

Bingo.

JD · 04-15-2005, 11:49 PM

can I borrow fidy dollah??? and yer VCR??

zzgundamnzz · 04-15-2005, 11:52 PM

I know exactly how you feel. People just want more and more. When you stop giving them stuff they start accusing you of shit.

AaronM · 04-15-2005, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPeRMiNaToR

can I borrow fidy dollah??? and yer VCR??

LOL...The sad thing is I would give loan them the 50 and GIVE them the VCR. Anybody who needs a VCR these days is in worse financial shape than me for sure.

CDSmith · 04-15-2005, 11:55 PM

Time to cut the umbilical cord.

J$tyle$ · 04-15-2005, 11:55 PM

As I get older my circle of (what i consider) friends continues to get smaller!

Sounds like you have too many less fortunate friends

AaronM · 04-15-2005, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

Time to cut the umbilical cord.

Yeah, I already did that more or less. Me thinks that's what created this issue.

Now the question is....Is there really a friendship there and if so, is it worth trying to salvage.

Probably not.

SleazyDream · 04-15-2005, 11:57 PM

jesus said when someone hits you on the cheek offer them the other.

but then jesus died a horrible death didn't he.

quiet · 04-15-2005, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Anybody who needs a VCR these days is in worse financial shape than me for sure.

OzMan · 04-15-2005, 11:58 PM

Yeah cut him loose.. from his negative attitude, but not from your friendship unless you can't snap him out of it.

It sounds like he expects life and everyone in his life to fuck him over based on past experience. This is a downward spiral and his low expectations will be met unless he realizes that essentially we start with a clean slate every day and we can do as little or as much with it as we choose by our thoughts,words and actions.

CDSmith · 04-15-2005, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Yeah, I already did that more or less. Me thinks that's what created this issue.

Now the question is....Is there really a friendship there and if so, is it worth trying to salvage.

Probably not.

Here's what you do:

Invite him over one last time,

Pour him a few drinks so he needs to use the bathroom,

once he's in there....

hit 'the switch'....

AaronM · 04-15-2005, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J$tyle$

As I get older my circle of (what i consider) friends continues to get smaller!

Sounds like you have too many less fortunate friends

Wrong.

I have more fingers than I have people I call my friend. Most of those people happen to be in this business. The one in question is not.

fatal attraction · 04-16-2005, 12:00 AM

Just believe in karma.....it'll all come around one day!

JD · 04-16-2005, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleazyDream

jesus said when someone hits you on the cheek offer them the other.

but then jesus died a horrible death didn't he.

yes but he can sit back and laugh now.....check out www.loljesus.com

AaronM · 04-16-2005, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatal attraction

Just believe in karma.....it'll all come around one day!

Unfortunately I believe Karma may be part of this. I was a real bastard as a child and teen.

tical · 04-16-2005, 12:03 AM

Yea, they probably figure since you aren't offering blank checks to them and more free furniture that you're out to fuck em over.

Reminds me of a friend of mine... if we go out and he buys me a drink, he keeps track and counts it as I owe him the very next drink or a reimbursement, no lie. Bastards

fatal attraction · 04-16-2005, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Unfortunately I believe Karma may be part of this. I was a real bastard as a child and teen.

I was too! Maybe that's why I went to 3 boarding schools?? But, I've always tried to be a friend.....with nothing in return! I HAVE to believe in karma, or else I'd go insane!

WiredGuy · 04-16-2005, 12:11 AM

If you stopped entirely talking to this person, would he crawl back needing help? Might be worth trying out if they won't respect what you did for this person.
WG

AaronM · 04-16-2005, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy

If you stopped entirely talking to this person, would he crawl back needing help? Might be worth trying out if they won't respect what you did for this person.
WG

The thing is...I value my friendships too much to turn my back on them. Isn't that what true friendship is?

Or does this revert back to the whole: If you love something, set it free...Bullshit?

Tempest · 04-16-2005, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

The thing is...I value my friendships too much to turn my back on them. Isn't that what true friendship is?

Or does this revert back to the whole: If you love something, set it free...Bullshit?

There comes a point where enough is enough and for your own well being you need to walk away... Hard decision to make but some times it has to be done.

Of course.. this from a man with probably less real friends than you..

fris · 04-16-2005, 04:04 AM

you cant trust anyone. because if they think they are going to profit from anything they will take their first chance and fuck you over.

Antonio · 04-16-2005, 04:15 AM

Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest person in the world, I get along with my parents, I get along with my brother, never ever had any problems with my friends, the few people that fucked me over or tried to fuck me over are people that had never mattered to me in a frist place.

StuartD · 04-16-2005, 07:04 AM

1) friend A gives and gives to friend B in an effort to "help"

2) friend A stops giving so much in an effort to help friend B become more self dependant.

3) friend B feels hurt

4) friend B, in his anger starts accusing friend A of all kinds of hurtful stuff in an effort to hurt him back... and being friends, knows exactly what will hurt him the most under the circumstances.

5) friends stop talking for a while to give each other space

6) friend B comes to realize that he was selfish and acting out of anger and both friends begin to talk again and a whole new friendship if formed.

MandyBlake · 04-16-2005, 07:28 AM

cuz they're assholes.

HpicAnn · 04-16-2005, 09:07 AM

som people are like that dont apreciate the generosity of a friend!!!

CDSmith · 04-16-2005, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NichePay - StuartD

6) friend B comes to realize that he was selfish and acting out of anger and both friends begin to talk again and a whole new friendship if formed.

OR...

6) Friend B actually IS selfish and is badly in need of anger management and he doesn't come back to talk. As time goes by the resentment grows, until one day he gets the bright idea to get revenge for imagined transgressions, at which point Aaron is forced to introduce him to mr semi auto 9mm.

04-15-2005, 11:44 PM	#1
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	Why is it that when you do things for people.... ...Many of them come back and accuse you of trying to fuck them over? I have continuously helped a "friend" out over the last 6-8 months. This person has NOTHING. No money, no car, basic belongings only, I gave them half of their furniture......You get the picture. So today I was talking to them and could sense that something was wrong so I asked what was going on. Then I get blindsided with some shit that they think I am out to fuck them over. Now, if we were to add up all the small loans, gas money for the rides I have given, countless hours of help in all sorts of ways.......The way I see it, they owe me big time. Yet, I am not looking for anything in return. It's called being a fucking friend. A concept that apparently the majority of people are not familiar with. So...Exactly how the the hell am I gonna screw somebody over who owes me money, has fuck all to offer me, and nothing for me to take from them?

04-15-2005, 11:46 PM	#2
Mike Okitch Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Posts: 4,126	Lots of people are just ingrates. If that's how he repays you, I'd say it's time to cut him loose. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

04-15-2005, 11:52 PM	#5
zzgundamnzz Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,102	I know exactly how you feel. People just want more and more. When you stop giving them stuff they start accusing you of shit. __________________

04-15-2005, 11:55 PM	#7
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Time to cut the umbilical cord. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

04-15-2005, 11:57 PM	#10
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	jesus said when someone hits you on the cheek offer them the other. but then jesus died a horrible death didn't he. __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

04-15-2005, 11:49 PM	#4
JD Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 22,651	can I borrow fidy dollah??? and yer VCR??

04-15-2005, 11:55 PM	#8
J$tyle$ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Sunny San Diego Posts: 11,500	As I get older my circle of (what i consider) friends continues to get smaller! Sounds like you have too many less fortunate friends

04-15-2005, 11:58 PM	#12
OzMan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Los Begas Posts: 9,162	Yeah cut him loose.. from his negative attitude, but not from your friendship unless you can't snap him out of it. It sounds like he expects life and everyone in his life to fuck him over based on past experience. This is a downward spiral and his low expectations will be met unless he realizes that essentially we start with a clean slate every day and we can do as little or as much with it as we choose by our thoughts,words and actions.

04-16-2005, 12:00 AM	#15
fatal attraction Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: where ever he is! Posts: 6,522	Just believe in karma.....it'll all come around one day!

04-16-2005, 12:03 AM	#18
tical Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 6,504	Yea, they probably figure since you aren't offering blank checks to them and more free furniture that you're out to fuck em over. Reminds me of a friend of mine... if we go out and he buys me a drink, he keeps track and counts it as I owe him the very next drink or a reimbursement, no lie. Bastards __________________ 112.020.756

04-16-2005, 12:11 AM	#20
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,482	If you stopped entirely talking to this person, would he crawl back needing help? Might be worth trying out if they won't respect what you did for this person. WG __________________ I play with Google.

04-16-2005, 04:04 AM	#23
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	you cant trust anyone. because if they think they are going to profit from anything they will take their first chance and fuck you over. __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

04-16-2005, 04:15 AM	#24
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest person in the world, I get along with my parents, I get along with my brother, never ever had any problems with my friends, the few people that fucked me over or tried to fuck me over are people that had never mattered to me in a frist place.

04-16-2005, 07:04 AM	#25
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	1) friend A gives and gives to friend B in an effort to "help" 2) friend A stops giving so much in an effort to help friend B become more self dependant. 3) friend B feels hurt 4) friend B, in his anger starts accusing friend A of all kinds of hurtful stuff in an effort to hurt him back... and being friends, knows exactly what will hurt him the most under the circumstances. 5) friends stop talking for a while to give each other space 6) friend B comes to realize that he was selfish and acting out of anger and both friends begin to talk again and a whole new friendship if formed. __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

04-16-2005, 07:28 AM	#26
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	cuz they're assholes. __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

04-16-2005, 09:07 AM	#27
HpicAnn Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 4,319	som people are like that dont apreciate the generosity of a friend!!! __________________ GiVe YoU a BiG......... tImE Best Converting Webmaster Programs! All Niches Covered! [email protected] IcQ: 226461222