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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 746
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Well boys, I Pissed my Bed
I have no reasonable explanation either. I'm asleep Saturday morning with a lady friend of mine. I'm dreaming, I suppose. In the dream, I think I'm letting a good piss go.
I wake up and jump! I feel warmth around my waist area (I was on my side) accompanied by the overwhelming feeling of having to piss......I think I must have only let about 1/2 out before I woke up. I jump up and take a squirt. I come back to the bed and it's bad.....REAL BAD! A 10X10 inch circle of warm piss on my navy blue top sheet. Well boys, nothing can make a man panick more then being in bed with a girl they are interested in as more than a fuck buddy after just pissing yourself. Seriously, how can you explain that? I didn't have one alcoholic drink Friday night either. Strange. So anyway, I put a small towel on it and laid on it and pulled the covers up. It was only 6am so I laid there with my eyes wide open in dead panic.....waiting for her to wake and spring whatever plan I could think of into action. She awoke, all chipper as usual, so I tried to put on my best chipper face and suggested she get a shower first since she takes longer. God must have been on my side because she smiles and goes to take a shower. As soon as the door closed, I start working like a maniac. I strip the bedsheet, mattress cover and pillowcases (to complete my eventual cover story) and run them down to the washing machine. While she is in the shower, I grab a can of lysol under my sink. A little piss seeped through to my goddamn brand new 700 dollar mattress. ![]() I sopped it up with said towel and lysoled the fuck out of the mattress. Put the comforter on and make the bed. She comes out a minute or so later with the inquisitive look on her face. I quickly say "Yeah, I always break down the bed on Saturday Morning and wash my sheets and stuff". I THINK I might have gotten away with it. She didn't say anything since. I still can't believe I pissed the fucking bed. :sad:
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#2 |
I need a beer
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,944
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The first sign of old age is when you piss yourself..Don't be ashamed of depends
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#3 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 243
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Hahaha what the hell
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#4 | |
It's coming look busy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn".
Posts: 35,299
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 746
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I'm only 28 years old. This BETTER be a one time thing.
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#6 |
BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: I live in a pile of boogers
Posts: 11,913
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if you are a 28yr old and you still wet the bed, you have no business being with women. buy some role playing games, find new nerd friends on IRC and start a Quake Arena server or start collecting bugs. forget women for a while.... maybe give it another shot at 38 and if you piss the bed again, consider the fact that you are just not compatible with the female of our species.
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#7 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 746
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I bang tons of broads all the time and have never pissed the bed in my life. I just think I was dreaming about pissing so I started pissing in real life.
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#8 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 13,336
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You should have blamed her..
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ISeekGirls.com since 2005 |
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#9 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,079
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Prediction: How your next date ends...
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#10 | |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Cancun, Mexico
Posts: 5,883
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Quote:
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Affordable video and picture editing. junior[at]jampackproductions[DOT]com ICQ: 605429331 |
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#11 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,535
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Sign of old age or a really bad bladder infection...
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Fuck My Sig Good ICQ - 203744959 |
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#12 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: QC
Posts: 5,829
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Quote:
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#13 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: The watercooler of life tripping balls with NPH
Posts: 1,757
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at least you didn't shit the bed.......
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#14 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 8,067
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"I couldn't tell my girlfriend I pissed the bed, but I just had to post about it on GFY..."
Perfectly reasonable order of events. ![]() |
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#15 | |
President, ePufferProfits
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,881
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Quote:
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#16 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 18,638
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Quote:
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I like turtles. |
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#17 | |
BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: I live in a pile of boogers
Posts: 11,913
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Quote:
doesn't that make you a little paranoid? what if you dream about sucking your dog off? will you wake up in time for the money shot... or sleep right through it? |
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#18 |
In Tushy Land
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 40,149
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lol haha have fun washing your bed shit every saturday now
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#19 | |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Midwest, US
Posts: 1,566
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#20 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 746
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Quote:
I'm baffled. I make fun of guys like me. Fucking putz pissed himself in bed. There is no excuse or explanation. ![]() ![]() ![]()
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#21 | |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 8,234
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Quote:
nothing is wrong with you if you dreamed you were pissing. |
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#22 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Posts: 4,126
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Quote:
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#23 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: MTL
Posts: 5,060
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Yeah I once dreamed I was pissing and did it for real...
but I was 9 years old... (not kidding, it really happened) Try peeing BEFORE going to bed!
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mmm my sig was too big... no more cool animation ![]() but hey still! need php? ICQ: 94586959 |
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#24 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Boonies
Posts: 12,860
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Quote:
Last time I pissed the bed tho was when I was 8. However I've shit myself at least once every 6 months. Sometimes I think it's just a fart and boy am I ever wrong!! |
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#25 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Global Traveler
Posts: 51,271
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Quote:
Funny suggestion. ![]() |
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