Well boys, I Pissed my Bed
 

I have no reasonable explanation either. I'm asleep Saturday morning with a lady friend of mine. I'm dreaming, I suppose. In the dream, I think I'm letting a good piss go.

I wake up and jump! I feel warmth around my waist area (I was on my side) accompanied by the overwhelming feeling of having to piss......I think I must have only let about 1/2 out before I woke up.

I jump up and take a squirt. I come back to the bed and it's bad.....REAL BAD!

A 10X10 inch circle of warm piss on my navy blue top sheet. Well boys, nothing can make a man panick more then being in bed with a girl they are interested in as more than a fuck buddy after just pissing yourself.

Seriously, how can you explain that? I didn't have one alcoholic drink Friday night either. Strange.

So anyway, I put a small towel on it and laid on it and pulled the covers up. It was only 6am so I laid there with my eyes wide open in dead panic.....waiting for her to wake and spring whatever plan I could think of into action.

She awoke, all chipper as usual, so I tried to put on my best chipper face and suggested she get a shower first since she takes longer. God must have been on my side because she smiles and goes to take a shower.

As soon as the door closed, I start working like a maniac. I strip the bedsheet, mattress cover and pillowcases (to complete my eventual cover story) and run them down to the washing machine. While she is in the shower, I grab a can of lysol under my sink. A little piss seeped through to my goddamn brand new 700 dollar mattress. :mad:

I sopped it up with said towel and lysoled the fuck out of the mattress. Put the comforter on and make the bed.

She comes out a minute or so later with the inquisitive look on her face. I quickly say "Yeah, I always break down the bed on Saturday Morning and wash my sheets and stuff".

I THINK I might have gotten away with it. She didn't say anything since. I still can't believe I pissed the fucking bed. :sad:

The first sign of old age is when you piss yourself..Don't be ashamed of depends :winkwink:

Hahaha what the hell

Irony will rear its ugly head now and you two will work out for a long relationship and that statement will haunt you for life.

I'm only 28 years old. This BETTER be a one time thing. :mad:

if you are a 28yr old and you still wet the bed, you have no business being with women. buy some role playing games, find new nerd friends on IRC and start a Quake Arena server or start collecting bugs. forget women for a while.... maybe give it another shot at 38 and if you piss the bed again, consider the fact that you are just not compatible with the female of our species.

I bang tons of broads all the time and have never pissed the bed in my life. I just think I was dreaming about pissing so I started pissing in real life.

You should have blamed her..

Prediction: How your next date ends...

http://www.clubdiapers.com/clubdiap.jpg

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Sign of old age or a really bad bladder infection...

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

at least you didn't shit the bed.......

"I couldn't tell my girlfriend I pissed the bed, but I just had to post about it on GFY..."

Perfectly reasonable order of events. :)

This statement just made me LOL! Sorry...! With all due respect, it really really is very funny! :1orglaugh GOOD LUCK with that!

owned :1orglaugh

doesn't that make you a little paranoid? what if you dream about sucking your dog off? will you wake up in time for the money shot... or sleep right through it?

lol haha have fun washing your bed shit every saturday now :)

Additionally the combination of Valium and Soma will cause this effect as well. Just an FYI. :2 cents:

I don't take drugs, don't smoke, am in perfect health, never had an STD, etc.

I'm baffled. I make fun of guys like me. Fucking putz pissed himself in bed.

There is no excuse or explanation. :mad: :( :Oh crap

dude.. i recently pissed the fucking bed and was just upset about it as you were... i was having a dream i was taking a piss and i wake up to find that i had indeed pissed parallel with the dream.

nothing is wrong with you if you dreamed you were pissing.

That's why this thread reminded me of Trainspotting

http://img1.picsplace.to/img1/5/1521/spud1.jpg

Yeah I once dreamed I was pissing and did it for real...






but I was 9 years old...
(not kidding, it really happened)

Try peeing BEFORE going to bed!

Don't worry about it. Everyone pisses the bed or shits themselves at least a few times a decade. Those who say they haven't are just liars.

Last time I pissed the bed tho was when I was 8. However I've shit myself at least once every 6 months. Sometimes I think it's just a fart and boy am I ever wrong!!

Funny suggestion. :1orglaugh