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Old 03-27-2005, 09:54 PM   #1
Tala
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I hate this. I miss him.

I've been doing so well this past week, and now I'm sitting here in tears.
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:55 PM   #2
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I miss Spacedog too

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Old 03-27-2005, 09:56 PM   #3
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Im sorry hun if u need anythign contact me on icq I hope evrything is ok
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:56 PM   #4
sonofsam
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time heals all, you'll get through it... keep your head up.... are you guys both still roommates?
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:57 PM   #5
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Sorry to hear, but it will get better. Just takes time. Go to bed, and sleep through the darkness, When the sun comes up, the gloom will be gone for awhile.
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:57 PM   #6
Tala
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No, he's in LA now and I'm back in Tennessee.
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:57 PM   #7
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It only hurts for a little while.Time heals..
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:58 PM   #8
MrIzzz
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you're no longer together for a reason, because you werent happy together.
so cheer up hun, it aint easy when it comes to matters of the heart
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:58 PM   #9
quiet
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yep, long term breakups suck major ass. ugh.
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Old 03-27-2005, 09:58 PM   #10
sonofsam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tala
No, he's in LA now and I'm back in Tennessee.
ok well thats better now.. i would suggest going out with friends a lot to keep your mind off it... but that works for half the people .. half the people need time alone...

however in the end, time will fix everything
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:00 PM   #11
MrIzzz
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Originally Posted by spunky
It only hurts for a little while.Time heals..


take spunky's advice. after spunky broke up with his bear boyfriend he was all disheveled. then he found leroy, a well-hung south arifcan twink in canada as a foreign exchange student, and spunky is happier than ever now
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:04 PM   #12
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Ugh I'm sorry Tala. I wish there was something I could say or do to help you. Broken hearts are the worst kind of pain
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:05 PM   #13
Tala
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Thank you everyone. I know it gets better, but right now....I miss him.
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:06 PM   #14
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It's hard as hell - been through the divorce grind 3 times - just keep a positive focus and keep friends and family close - that will help things the most.
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:08 PM   #15
MrIzzz
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for my love!!!!!!!
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:09 PM   #16
Tala
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Thanks Izzy.
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:18 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tala
Thank you everyone. I know it gets better, but right now....I miss him.
Of course you do. MIssing is natural. A hole was left when you parted company.

Missing someone is one thing, wanting someone back who was wrong for you is quite another though. If that is in fact the case.

All you can do is lean on your friends and... get through it.
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:21 PM   #18
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Awww I don't really know you but I will say this... You seem to be a great person with brains and beauty... And I know this hurts but believe me when I say it... You can make it through this... Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling and give yourself time to heal..... It will get better.. I promise as I have been there ...
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:22 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrIzzz


take spunky's advice. after spunky broke up with his bear boyfriend he was all disheveled. then he found leroy, a well-hung south arifcan twink in canada as a foreign exchange student, and spunky is happier than ever now
I still miss you sweetcheeks
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:32 PM   #20
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everything's gonna be alright baby.
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:32 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tala
I've been doing so well this past week, and now I'm sitting here in tears.
Ya know, Tala..you've held up pretty well these past few months..You've tried a lot of things to avoid the pain....not that you have purposely tried to avoid this....I hope my words don't come across as mean...believe me, they aren't meant to be insincere or unsympathetic...but human psyche will do anything to not feel hurt or pain....you know..releasing endorphins...distractions like shopping or sex with someone safe, like your friend..which, by the way, was therapeutic and fine with me...a little travel....and I'm pissed I still haven't gotten to meet you for real

But, sooner or later, which appears to be now....you're going to go through the stage of pain that is so horrific, your entire body, including your eyelashes, will hurt and feel awful.

And, there is thing nothing that you should do about it. Let it wash over you....feel it...because if you don't, it will haunt you the rest of your life and you're too young for that. Grieve, girl...mourn, scream, cry, be angry, be sad...feel sanctimonious and call him a bastard for leaving you all alone...face an empty chair and give it to him good.....all of it..the sadness that you miss him..the anger toward him for leaving you....the sheer loneliness of not having him....after all, they do become a habit, don't they? And, the fear of change...because your life IS changing....and you have no idea what path you'll take..since there are so many in front of you now...Talk to him as if he were really sitting in that chair. If you're not a visual person, write it down. You're a writer. Write him a letter and say it all....and then, when you're done, take it outside and burn it.....it's a therapeutic cleansing exercise. Repeat as needed, until your energies are not quite as intense...death of a loved one....whew..the mourning process..especially if you liked and loved him, can take three to five years to never....it's the never that you don't want.

It's the never you will get, though....if you don't do it now...it's one long hellacious intermittent vomit; but, if you do it now....you'll have your life back....if you don't..it will be painful for the rest of your life....intermittently..like a leaky annoying, sleep depriving faucet...slow, steady and always leaking when you least expect or want it to.

There is a life out there for you. I know there is. But, not today, sweetie. Today you have to grieve. Tomorrow, maybe, too..and maybe for a year or two or three...but as Paul Newman said when his son died...the grieving never goes away; but, the colours change. He's right. Virtual hug to you, Tala....plus, tea and a big hankie.
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:40 PM   #22
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heres a hug....hug
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:44 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrIzzz


take spunky's advice. after spunky broke up with his bear boyfriend he was all disheveled. then he found leroy, a well-hung south arifcan twink in canada as a foreign exchange student, and spunky is happier than ever now
shit wait till you get married mr izzz, juciy is gonna have a fucking nervous breakdown
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:45 PM   #24
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time heals all, you'll get through it... keep your head up....
very true. time is the best (and sometimes) the only cure
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:50 PM   #25
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Tala, do you miss HIM or do you missing having SOMEONE? I remember when I got divorced, the worst thing was being in that space when you wake up but you're not really awake and I'd think he was in the bed, then I'd wake up and realize he wasn't. I missed having someone I could go to the movies or dinner with at the spur of the moment or eat dinner and watch TV with every night.

But after a while I realized it wasn't HIM who I missed, but just the companionship. Take this time to get back in touch with people you might have lost contact with or haven't seen as much as you'd like
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:50 PM   #26
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I hope things get better for you soon Tala, shit like this can tear you apart inside.
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Old 03-27-2005, 10:53 PM   #27
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Tala, did I miss something here?

send me an e-mail if you need to vent sister
betty at bettylove.com
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Old 03-27-2005, 11:03 PM   #28
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oh my god how dramatic....
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Old 03-28-2005, 08:15 AM   #29
Tala
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Thanks everyone. Peaches, it is him at this particular mome3nt. I know things get easier, but geez, I wish it'd hurry up and get there.

Someone suggested to me that I go out and have a date or hit a singles club. I am SO not ready for that, but at the same time, you're right, I don't need to be alone all the time either. If I had the $$ handy, I'd go back to Washington to visit old friends, maybe take some of the pain away. Until then, though, I'll just keep chuggin. That's about all I can do..

Thansk for the emotional support everyone. *HUGS*
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Old 03-28-2005, 08:17 AM   #30
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We all miss 2pac
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Old 03-28-2005, 08:27 AM   #31
Shaddam IV
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just get a couple more cats
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:36 AM   #32
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My girl and I broke up over a year ago now. I still miss her.

Hang in there Tala. I'd like to say it get's easier, but I'm going on a year now and it's still tough.
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:52 AM   #33
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cheer up.. time heals all
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:16 AM   #34
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I must admit that Raven words are something really special. Something that come really from her heart, basically all true...words that come from someone that tried same exprience....Raven is a special person Ciao
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:21 AM   #35
Screaming
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ohh hun im sorry, but you know like everyone said let it hurt for a while and it will feel better afterwards and then try spending some time with friends and family to fill some of the void that is there, i know we are all giving advice that is easier said then done but give it a try hun
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:26 AM   #36
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People seldom break-up because it's ALL bad.

Just like you make a CHOICE to stay with someone, to be faithful to them, etc, we also make choices that reflect when there's more pain in a situation than joy. You miss him because you're rembering the joy -- now just remind yourself that there was more than 51% pain, and you'll start to feel better -- promise.


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Old 03-28-2005, 10:28 AM   #37
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youre sad over somebody MOVING? Selfish. wait til you lose somebody forever and for always
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:30 AM   #38
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Everything will be ok at the end and if it is not ok, then it is not the end.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:32 AM   #39
MandyBlake
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everything will work out...just give it time tala.
and smile! mandy loves you!
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:57 AM   #40
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I was in a three year relationship and when it ended it about killed me, although we both saw it coming. And really the actual breakup took about about a year. When it really ended (she was with somebody else) I found myself on the verge of stalking her and knew that I was doing something very unhealthy. I decided to make something positive for myself and began looking for the next miss right.

Yes I got into computer dating and probably made one of you assholes a lot of money on recurring memberships.

But the end of the story is that now I'm happily married to the next woman I got serious about. April 20 will be three years of marital bliss.

I wish you the same.
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Old 03-28-2005, 11:00 AM   #41
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Awwww........ .
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Old 03-28-2005, 11:05 AM   #42
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sorry to hear that
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Old 03-28-2005, 11:17 AM   #43
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You will get tru it eventualy. stay strong!
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Old 03-28-2005, 11:34 AM   #44
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I'm here for ya chickie. I'll be a better hanging out friend once these next two weeks are over. Hang in there, you can make it.
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