Oh this is fucking priceless - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 03-18-2005, 12:34 PM

It's probably been posted before, but big deal... it's worth another look.

From the state where drinking and driving is considered a sport,
comes a true story from Houston, Texas.

Recently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood
bar.
Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer
quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his own car, which he fell into.
He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it
was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn,
and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then
remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their
vehicles.
At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down
the street.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up
his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over
and carried out a Breathalyzer test .
To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having
consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police Station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken." ...... "I
doubt it," said the man, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

Spunky · 03-18-2005, 12:36 PM

That is priceless

Fake Nick · 03-18-2005, 12:36 PM

hahahahahaha the designated decoy

I thought all people in those regions were like STUPID , guess not ;)

loverboy · 03-18-2005, 12:36 PM

hahaha. so much for the Breathanalyzer test

After Shock Media · 03-18-2005, 12:37 PM

hahahaha

Trixxxia · 03-18-2005, 12:37 PM

Good one - Dangerous but funny!

teksonline · 03-18-2005, 12:37 PM

haha good chuckle outta that one

Manowar · 03-18-2005, 12:37 PM

TORTOISE · 03-18-2005, 12:40 PM

That was funny

CDSmith · 03-18-2005, 12:41 PM

It's probably been discredited and proved as an urban legend on snopes.com, but whatever.

To whomever wrote it, it's priceless.

*Note -- only dipshits drive drunk. Don't be a dipshit, don't drink and drive.

BT · 03-18-2005, 12:42 PM

Hahhaha, priceless

Evil Chris · 03-18-2005, 12:43 PM

I didn't think they gave roadside breathalizers in the US.

DarkJedi · 03-18-2005, 12:49 PM

ROFL, this must be a joke

wjxxx · 03-18-2005, 12:51 PM

DaddysGirl · 03-18-2005, 01:03 PM

funny, but D&D is not funny

Scott McD · 03-18-2005, 01:05 PM

LOL !!!!

gecko · 03-18-2005, 01:06 PM

hahahaha

sickkittens · 03-18-2005, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddysGirl

funny, but D&D is not funny

Indeed. But seeing how it's fiction, it's ok to laugh.

sweetME · 03-18-2005, 02:35 PM

axelcat · 03-18-2005, 02:36 PM

DaddysGirl · 03-18-2005, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sickkittens

Indeed. But seeing how it's fiction, it's ok to laugh.

absolutley

woj · 03-18-2005, 02:39 PM

heh heh

WebTitan · 03-18-2005, 02:42 PM

that is fucking great!

jimmyf · 03-18-2005, 02:43 PM

that's 2 funny

foxylady · 03-18-2005, 03:01 PM

hova · 03-18-2005, 03:03 PM

funny shit

brilsmurf · 03-18-2005, 03:14 PM

haha thats just great!

Rich · 03-18-2005, 03:22 PM

haha, heard it many times before but it's still priceless.

I agree, drinking and driving is for complete fuckups, but that story is classic.

Honez · 03-18-2005, 03:25 PM

Good one!

CDSmith · 03-18-2005, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

I didn't think they gave roadside breathalizers in the US.

First I ever heard this, so I can't say exactly. I've never heard of them not doing it, but that doesn't mean anything.

Maybe one of my American friends can comment on this.

CDSmith · 03-18-2005, 09:04 PM

Quote:

drinking and driving is for complete fuckups, but that story is classic.

I think the humor in stories like this are always mostly about how the cops get made fools of.

That's why movies like Smokey & the Bandit were so popular.

Wiggles · 03-18-2005, 09:31 PM

hahaha that is hilarious, nice find man

ProjectNaked · 03-18-2005, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

First I ever heard this, so I can't say exactly. I've never heard of them not doing it, but that doesn't mean anything.

Maybe one of my American friends can comment on this.

the "road-side" breathalizer is the cops second best friend, next to their new tazer guns. They use them on everyone rather than take the time to cart a sober person all the way downtown. I have done a few, always fun to smile after passing them.

tungsten · 03-18-2005, 09:58 PM

nice one

quantum-x · 03-18-2005, 10:05 PM

Hah, word ;)

03-18-2005, 12:34 PM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Oh this is fucking priceless It's probably been posted before, but big deal... it's worth another look. From the state where drinking and driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from Houston, Texas. Recently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar. Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn, and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test . To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken." ...... "I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy." __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-18-2005, 12:36 PM	#2
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	That is priceless __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

03-18-2005, 12:41 PM	#10
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	It's probably been discredited and proved as an urban legend on snopes.com, but whatever. To whomever wrote it, it's priceless. Note -- only dipshits drive drunk. Don't be a dipshit, don't drink and drive. __________________ Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-18-2005, 12:42 PM	#11
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03-18-2005, 12:43 PM	#12
Evil Chris OG Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 3rd from the Sun Posts: 13,235	I didn't think they gave roadside breathalizers in the US. __________________ It PAYZE to post on GFY chris at payze.com \| Skype chriswrp

03-18-2005, 12:36 PM	#3
Fake Nick So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: go troll goo! Posts: 7,708	hahahahahaha the designated decoy I thought all people in those regions were like STUPID , guess not ;)

03-18-2005, 12:36 PM	#4
loverboy When it rains, it pours Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 20,609	hahaha. so much for the Breathanalyzer test

03-18-2005, 12:37 PM	#5
After Shock Media It's coming look busy Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". Posts: 35,299	hahahaha

03-18-2005, 12:37 PM	#6
Trixxxia Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 5,600	Good one - Dangerous but funny!

03-18-2005, 12:37 PM	#7
teksonline So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: At My Desk Posts: 2,904	haha good chuckle outta that one

03-18-2005, 12:37 PM	#8
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

03-18-2005, 12:40 PM	#9
TORTOISE Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: LONDON/MONTREAL Posts: 734	That was funny

03-18-2005, 12:49 PM	#13
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	ROFL, this must be a joke

03-18-2005, 12:51 PM	#14
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03-18-2005, 01:03 PM	#15
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03-18-2005, 01:05 PM	#16
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03-18-2005, 01:06 PM	#17
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03-18-2005, 02:35 PM	#19
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03-18-2005, 02:36 PM	#20
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03-18-2005, 02:39 PM	#22
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03-18-2005, 02:42 PM	#23
WebTitan Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Western NY Posts: 5,114	that is fucking great!

03-18-2005, 02:43 PM	#24
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03-18-2005, 03:01 PM	#25
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03-18-2005, 03:03 PM	#26
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03-18-2005, 03:14 PM	#27
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03-18-2005, 03:22 PM	#28
Rich So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,486	haha, heard it many times before but it's still priceless. I agree, drinking and driving is for complete fuckups, but that story is classic.

03-18-2005, 03:25 PM	#29
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03-18-2005, 09:31 PM	#32
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03-18-2005, 09:58 PM	#34
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