Best excuse to get out of jury duty??? - GoFuckYourself.com

OzMan · 03-08-2005, 11:15 PM

Murder trial, could be a long one....

Being sequestered in a hotel with no Net access or TV for $50 a day ain't my idea of fun.

What excuses have you guys used before that worked?

NaughtyRob · 03-08-2005, 11:17 PM

I posted this about a year ago, prepared to be flamed.

Spunky · 03-08-2005, 11:17 PM

That I'm a skinhead that worships satan

Barefootsies · 03-08-2005, 11:18 PM

Quote:

What excuses have you guys used before that worked?

Family members have been incarcirated.
I'm part of the (fill in your state) militia.
I'm in the adult pornography business.

All seem to work.

sonofsam · 03-08-2005, 11:25 PM

you : oh.... john smith is on trial?? NIIIIIICE you guys mind if we catch up a little before trial?

pornguy · 03-08-2005, 11:26 PM

The my brother was framed and put in jail always works for me,

Robatolla · 03-08-2005, 11:29 PM

tell them you don't trust a police occifers testimony!!!(worked for me!)

CDSmith · 03-08-2005, 11:30 PM

Off the record, my answer would be: every time you're asked a question during jury selection you dart your eyes back and forth, from side to side like you're desparately trying to think up a lie.

On the record, dude it's your civic duty. Suck it up.

Robatolla · 03-08-2005, 11:32 PM

Iwas going to be picked as an alternate!I said

Robatolla · 03-08-2005, 11:33 PM

and i really don't trust their testimony?

Barefootsies · 03-08-2005, 11:34 PM

Tell them it's unconstitutional to have to pay taxes and then start ranting incoherantly to yourself.

Otherwise show up in army fatigues.

boner 2.0 · 03-08-2005, 11:38 PM

"I'm under drug influence"

Don't try this one

mistress69 · 03-08-2005, 11:39 PM

tell them u hate black folks

baddog · 03-08-2005, 11:42 PM

They pay you $50 a day? They only pay $5 here in CA.

Just tell them you are self-employed and it would be a financial hardship

sonofsam · 03-08-2005, 11:42 PM

tell them you have to ask for permission from your cousins in the middle east

Sparks · 03-08-2005, 11:42 PM

Go in reading some John Grisham book, tell em you believe in the death penalty and you think they should get the chair

Kevsh · 03-08-2005, 11:59 PM

1. Say you hate cops "coz y'all know they karrupt"
2. Stand up and court, look at the defendent and say confidently "He looks guilty!"
3. "I'm a professional psychic ... I know he is guilty already"
4. Get a temporary swastika tattoed on your forehead (wear a hat outside the courtroom though)
5. Say you think the death penalty should be adminstered in the courtroom right after a guilty verdict
6. For women, tell them you may be pregnant. If they press you on it, say "well, I've had 18 partners in the last month without using protection." Then look up to the judge, wink, and say "hi sweety!"
7. Tell them that you get aroused by being seated close to other people. Then nervously twitch a little, blush, look around and put your hands on your crotch.
8. Fart. Loudly and frequently and obviously. Congratulate yourself. Then after someone takes offense look to the person beside you on the panel and say "good one, buddy!"
9. Wear a "Free Charles Manson" t-shirt
10. As soon as you show up, curl your sweater or jacket into a ball and use it as a pillow. After shifting around a few times in obvious discomfort, leap out of the juror box, onto the prosecutor's table, calmly and casually move their briefcases, sheets and coffee out of the way and then lay down right across the table.

Odin88 · 03-09-2005, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

They pay you $50 a day? They only pay $5 here in CA.

Just tell them you are self-employed and it would be a financial hardship

Exactly, tell them $50 a day wouldn't cover your hosting bills for a month, and that it would put you in a very difficult situation trying to maintain the business you worked hard to build. Most likely semi-true and I think it would be good grounds for them to let you off (if you put it the right way).

Yo Adrian · 03-09-2005, 12:05 AM

I got out of it twice by claiming financial distress.. don't think that works anymore though

shuki · 03-09-2005, 12:05 AM

My dog ate my homework

Rochard · 03-09-2005, 12:06 AM

Simple. Return the form with a short letter explaining that you are a porngrapher, and that you don't believe you have the morals and values required. They'll take you off the list.

Love Brokers · 03-09-2005, 12:07 AM

I told them I did not trust lawyers and tht I truly believe the justice system in this country is corrupt!

hydro · 03-09-2005, 12:08 AM

play the white trash redneck card, works everytime

OzMan · 03-09-2005, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odin88

Exactly, tell them $50 a day wouldn't cover your hosting bills for a month, and that it would put you in a very difficult situation trying to maintain the business you worked hard to build. Most likely semi-true and I think it would be good grounds for them to let you off (if you put it the right way).

Yup I was gonna go with this one because it's the truth, just wanted other possibles that might work better.

Civic duty is cool but keeping the money coming in takes priority.

Thanks for the ideas

especially your list Kevsh

OzMan · 03-09-2005, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yo Adrian

I got out of it twice by claiming financial distress.. don't think that works anymore though

oh really.... hmmm time to rethink

rickholio · 03-09-2005, 12:15 AM

God help any of us if we ever are dragged before a jury to stand trial... 'cuz the only ones in the jury box would be either a) the zealous types or b) people too stupid to get out of jury duty.

Edit: ... or people for whom $50/day would be a raise.

escorpio · 03-09-2005, 12:16 AM

Tell them you're looking forward to locking up some negroes.

xlogger · 03-09-2005, 12:17 AM

Ok i will try this..

"I got anal herpes, i dont want to spread it"

03-08-2005, 11:15 PM	#1
OzMan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Los Begas Posts: 9,162	Best excuse to get out of jury duty??? Murder trial, could be a long one.... Being sequestered in a hotel with no Net access or TV for $50 a day ain't my idea of fun. What excuses have you guys used before that worked?

03-08-2005, 11:17 PM	#2
NaughtyRob Two fresh affiliate progs Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Inside teen pussy Posts: 29,602	I posted this about a year ago, prepared to be flamed. __________________ [email protected] Skype: 17026955414 Vacares Web Hosting - Protect Your Ass with Included Daily Backups

03-08-2005, 11:17 PM	#3
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	That I'm a skinhead that worships satan __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

03-08-2005, 11:25 PM	#5
sonofsam Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 18,638	you : oh.... john smith is on trial?? NIIIIIICE you guys mind if we catch up a little before trial? __________________ I like turtles.

03-08-2005, 11:26 PM	#6
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	The my brother was framed and put in jail always works for me, __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

03-08-2005, 11:29 PM	#7
Robatolla Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: vegas Posts: 897	tell them you don't trust a police occifers testimony!!!(worked for me!) __________________

03-08-2005, 11:30 PM	#8
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Off the record, my answer would be: every time you're asked a question during jury selection you dart your eyes back and forth, from side to side like you're desparately trying to think up a lie. On the record, dude it's your civic duty. Suck it up. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-08-2005, 11:32 PM	#9
Robatolla Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: vegas Posts: 897	Iwas going to be picked as an alternate!I said __________________

03-08-2005, 11:33 PM	#10
Robatolla Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: vegas Posts: 897	and i really don't trust their testimony? __________________

03-08-2005, 11:34 PM	#11
Barefootsies Choice is an Illusion Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Land of Obama Posts: 42,635	Tell them it's unconstitutional to have to pay taxes and then start ranting incoherantly to yourself. Otherwise show up in army fatigues. __________________ Should You Email Your Members? Link1 \| Link2 \| Link3 Enough Said. "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

03-08-2005, 11:38 PM	#12
boner 2.0 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 10,970	"I'm under drug influence" Don't try this one __________________

03-08-2005, 11:39 PM	#13
mistress69 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,804	tell them u hate black folks

03-08-2005, 11:42 PM	#14
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	They pay you $50 a day? They only pay $5 here in CA. Just tell them you are self-employed and it would be a financial hardship

03-08-2005, 11:42 PM	#16
Sparks Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern CA Posts: 2,466	Go in reading some John Grisham book, tell em you believe in the death penalty and you think they should get the chair

03-08-2005, 11:59 PM	#17
Kevsh Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: TO Posts: 8,619	1. Say you hate cops "coz y'all know they karrupt" 2. Stand up and court, look at the defendent and say confidently "He looks guilty!" 3. "I'm a professional psychic ... I know he is guilty already" 4. Get a temporary swastika tattoed on your forehead (wear a hat outside the courtroom though) 5. Say you think the death penalty should be adminstered in the courtroom right after a guilty verdict 6. For women, tell them you may be pregnant. If they press you on it, say "well, I've had 18 partners in the last month without using protection." Then look up to the judge, wink, and say "hi sweety!" 7. Tell them that you get aroused by being seated close to other people. Then nervously twitch a little, blush, look around and put your hands on your crotch. 8. Fart. Loudly and frequently and obviously. Congratulate yourself. Then after someone takes offense look to the person beside you on the panel and say "good one, buddy!" 9. Wear a "Free Charles Manson" t-shirt 10. As soon as you show up, curl your sweater or jacket into a ball and use it as a pillow. After shifting around a few times in obvious discomfort, leap out of the juror box, onto the prosecutor's table, calmly and casually move their briefcases, sheets and coffee out of the way and then lay down right across the table. Last edited by Kevsh; 03-09-2005 at 12:01 AM..

03-09-2005, 12:05 AM	#19
Yo Adrian Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 6,326	I got out of it twice by claiming financial distress.. don't think that works anymore though __________________ Adult SEO Partners - Full service Adult SEO Agency serving some of the biggest names in the industry.

03-09-2005, 12:05 AM	#20
shuki Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston Posts: 3,070	My dog ate my homework __________________ Looking to buy established paysites contact me [email protected]

03-09-2005, 12:06 AM	#21
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 74,314	Simple. Return the form with a short letter explaining that you are a porngrapher, and that you don't believe you have the morals and values required. They'll take you off the list. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

03-09-2005, 12:07 AM	#22
Love Brokers Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Chatsworth, CA Posts: 1,699	I told them I did not trust lawyers and tht I truly believe the justice system in this country is corrupt! __________________ Content Junky www.contentjunky.com ICQ: 135173372

03-09-2005, 12:08 AM	#23
hydro Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Dirty 3rd Posts: 4,216	play the white trash redneck card, works everytime

03-09-2005, 12:15 AM	#26
rickholio Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Nor'easterland Posts: 1,914	God help any of us if we ever are dragged before a jury to stand trial... 'cuz the only ones in the jury box would be either a) the zealous types or b) people too stupid to get out of jury duty. Edit: ... or people for whom $50/day would be a raise.

03-09-2005, 12:16 AM	#27
escorpio I love to racism, bro! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA! USA! USA! Posts: 23,196	Tell them you're looking forward to locking up some negroes. __________________ Unvaxxed, still alive.

03-09-2005, 12:17 AM	#28
xlogger Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: NY Posts: 9,507	Ok i will try this.. "I got anal herpes, i dont want to spread it" __________________ ---------- XLOGGER [REFLECTED] [OH]