hahaha. :1orglaugh

lol, I wrote that story myself and it is TRUE... I didnt tell you guys about how I tossed her salad earlier that evening... here's the story in a nutshell


SHE WATCHED A MOVIE WHILE I TOSSED HER SALAD:

I wasn't insulted one bit. Saving Private Ryan is a damn good movie. But at the time I was more interested in SAVOURING her privates, if you know what I mean. I wanted to eat that little ass and eat it good...


We were on my couch and she was stretched out while I sat beside her. She had taken a redeye flight back from Vegas the night before and was complaining of a sore back. It was a small, cramped seat she had on the plane.

I started off by massaging her back while she watched the movie. She had never seen it before and it captivated her like it does everyone that sees it for the first time. I've seen it many times and was more interested in working my way to her asshole. I dont know why but I was craving anus that night. I got her jeans unbuttoned and pulled them down. Her little white gstring underwear had cartoon characters on them, and her firm ass and milkysmooth skin where now exposed for my enjoyment... I was like a kid in a candy store now.

Some people tell me "eeeww you lick a girls asshole, that's gross", My answer to them is no man, you dont get it, I just dont lick that clean little asshole, I EAT it. and I eat it GOOD. I get all up in there and swirl my tongue all over her goodies -- I spread her asscheeks... wide... and go to town sucking , licking and tongue-fucking her asshole. Make no mistake about it. I make sure to work over the whole area - her asscheeks, the anus, the stretch of skin between her pussy and anus -- and of course i finger and rub down her pussy the whole time to keep her juices flowin'. I know I am on the right track when she starts moaning, grinding her hips against my face and I start hearing whimpers of pleasure escaping her lips...

next time cum in her hair

nice stories , saved :D

lol, its so funny you posted that pic, when the trailers came out for that movie I thought, "damn, someone is making a biography of my life". I am always giving my friends advice on how to smoothtalk the ladies. They love hearing the stories of my encounters with the hotties. I know how to bring it. :pimp

Since she didn't hit you, I'd do it again.

if you do it right, she wil let you...it is just fun..doesnt have to be a dominating experience

I bet next time you toss her salad...

she will give ya some special dressing!!

you're done for!!


:2 cents:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

50 pices of ADVICE PLEASE!

50 Unlawfully Jizzed Females

Edit: fuck you fl_prn_star

ohhhhh Frisky now aren?t we??and a big fat :321GFY too!!!

love ya man.......whatever they say, dont change for no one...... :1orglaugh

later....ghost.

lol <3 :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh but shouldn't the toothbrush be inserted head first? :winkwink:

keep coming on her face she will get used to it ;)

for the people that came straight to the second page of this thread... :pimp

I never had the chance to unload me on a woman face.. :D

You should write sex stories

:1orglaugh

but I thought those ARE sex stories? :helpme

lol, thanks man :thumbsup

:error :321GFY

do it again, she will let you if she really loves you.

:Oh crap :Oh crap :Oh crap :Oh crap
WELL...........................
If you ever get sick or end up in the hospital we'll know why!!!
Eating feces, licking feces, inserting your tongue into a space where feces comes out of in NOT healthy. Even if she were to wipe her ass clean after taking a shit and she were to shower really well, if you are sticking your tongue UP her ass, where she does NOT stick the toilet paper, you are bound to be swallowing some residual feces. Are you not aware how sick you can get?!?! Why do you think you are supposed to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom... not for the fun of it!!! You want to take a shit and then handle your food and end up getting feces on your food.. people have been hospitalised from this you know... wake up man!!

well my mom used to catch me eating my shit when I was an infant and I survived :1orglaugh ... honestly I have been eating ass for years and I have never gotten anything more than a headcold as far as illness. Maybe I have built up an immunity? I dunno... are there any doctors on this board? please feel free to jump in... :helpme :)

post pics of her so we can judge

Hepatitis A. A liver infection caused by a virus that is transmitted in human feces.
"E. coli," properly termed Escherichia coli is a type of bacteria commonly found in the human intestinal tract and in human feces. It has there been used as a marker to indicate the contamination of water of food with human feces, and hence the potential dangers that might accompany the presence of human feces in our food and water supply. As well as a bacteria called cryptosporidium which is also found in human feces, causes gastrointestinal illness such as diarrhea, vomiting and cramps.

Look it up anywhere man, you dont need a doctor to tell you that you shouldnt be swallowing/eating shit or assholes..

Are you a surfer or a adultwebmaster? This board is for adultwebmasters, if you are not please leave now

lol, just kidding man, thanks for the advice, I'll consider it the next time I have her ass in my face (E. coli), right after I crush out my cigarette (lung cancer) and take my last swig of rye & coke (liver disease) :)

I think you should write a sex book.

ur a funny guy and this thread is too :1orglaugh

this thread is too funny!!!!!

Fuckin ripoff faggot pirate :321GFY


Great story by the way, I almost got wood

Tell her sperm is good for her face

Hey gangbangjoe, I meant to reply to your post yesterday but got distracted. sorry :Oh crap

Ok upon request...

Here is a pic of the bowl in which I tossed the salad.
http://www.pornhero.com/tossed.jpg

To find out why I feel guilty and if you want to learn how to toss the proper salad please read my posts on the first page of this thread.

Man, if i ever marry this chick I hope she never sees this thread!

If you haven't already, I encourage you to find out how much I made in Jan 2005:
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=439412

Yeah i think you should talk to her an tell her that is something you like!!

I think she's already figured out I like it!

If not, she's going to get more evidence tomorrow night

when she takes part in my homemovie that I am ejaculating, ugh, I mean releasing... its called:

The Passion Of The Facial

:winkwink:

welcome to gfy,thanks for posting, now go fuckyourself :321GFY :thumbsup

Yo Pornhero,

Your posts are great, keep it up, as you've added some life and interest in a board that can sometimes be :sleep

Edit: I like the ass sandwich too, dont let the clean freek put you off, as long as your woman is clean etc. I'm sure its ok lol

warm water, a washcloth, and pray she doesn't decide to use her teeth next time!

good advice