Xmas party - GoFuckYourself.com

jimmyf · 11-28-2001, 05:12 PM

November 19th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be
lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional
carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO
shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange
of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift
should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was my Christmas Party memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that, Hanukkah is an important holiday that
often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year).
However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.
There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy
Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 3rd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that
reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget
about the gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union
members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patty Lewis
Human Researchers Director

December 7th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from
the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays
are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with
the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower
arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Racehorses Director

December 9th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red
suit."
Patty Lewis
Human Ratraces

December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians-I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this
party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit
at the table farthest from the grill of death," as you put it, and
you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you
know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them.
I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now...Ha! I hope you
all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell

December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy
recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward
your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has
decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of
the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays!
Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director

pr0 · 11-28-2001, 05:15 PM

classic

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-- Digital Pimp Family --

theWatsonian · 11-28-2001, 06:01 PM

I wonder how the "Holiday Party" turns out...

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PornShare reviewer - Surfing porn is my job.

Cheshire · 11-28-2001, 06:27 PM

Weren't you paying attention?

The party's cancelled guy.

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You might be the biggest boob of them all.

pornJester · 11-28-2001, 06:36 PM

would this be a good time to announce the WebmasterVault.com Holiday Extravaganza?

------------------
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</A>
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theWatsonian · 11-28-2001, 08:14 PM

So, nobody is getting together anyway?
What a let down.

------------------

PornShare reviewer - Surfing porn is my job.

Keev · 11-28-2001, 11:01 PM

Being politically correct costs ya in the long run just say it like it is...

11-28-2001, 05:12 PM	#1
jimmyf OU812 Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: California Posts: 12,651	Xmas party November 19th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis Human Resources Director December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES In no way was my Christmas Party memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that, Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty Lewis Human Resources Director December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money. Patty Lewis Human Researchers Director December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now? Patty Lewis Human Racehorses Director December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." Patty Lewis Human Ratraces December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Vegetarians-I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me? The Bitch from Hell December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays! Terri Bishop Acting Human Resources Director

11-28-2001, 05:15 PM	#2
pr0 rockin tha trailerpark Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: ~Coastal~ Posts: 23,088	classic ------------------ -- Digital Pimp Family --

11-28-2001, 06:01 PM	#3
theWatsonian Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: PB4L HQ Posts: 1,737	I wonder how the "Holiday Party" turns out... ------------------ PornShare reviewer - Surfing porn is my job.

11-28-2001, 06:27 PM	#4
Cheshire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Rosen-Villin Posts: 5,738	Weren't you paying attention? The party's cancelled guy. ------------------ You might be the biggest boob of them all.

11-28-2001, 06:36 PM	#5
pornJester Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 6,138	would this be a good time to announce the WebmasterVault.com Holiday Extravaganza? ------------------ <A HREF="http://www.webmastervault.com" TARGET=_blank> More info, more resources, more cheese in the bank. </A> We are looking for writers... ICQ me: 91573698

11-28-2001, 08:14 PM	#6
theWatsonian Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: PB4L HQ Posts: 1,737	So, nobody is getting together anyway? What a let down. ------------------ PornShare reviewer - Surfing porn is my job.

11-28-2001, 11:01 PM	#7
Keev Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 5,335	Being politically correct costs ya in the long run just say it like it is...