Letter To The President - GoFuckYourself.com

Bama · 02-10-2005, 09:35 AM

OK, I get slammed twice as I voted for Bush and am from Alabama - but it's funny none the less

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals.

Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue
States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the
North East.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California.
In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole
country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know
they need to be back in their states by then.

So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator,
stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get
Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty.

You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get
Old Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about
two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay
their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the
Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch
of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.

Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies?

But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on
their Big Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving
California wine at your state dinners.

From now on it's imported French wine for you.

Ouch, bet that hurts.

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and
anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens
back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your
evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their
deaths for absolutely no purpose.
And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets
coming home.

Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction.
Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely,
California

Dina_C9 · 02-10-2005, 09:38 AM

are you really that stupid?

StuartD · 02-10-2005, 09:39 AM

yes, but Bush's country will get more sex, since they don't seem to worry about whether or not someone is a family member.

BRISK · 02-10-2005, 09:40 AM

We get the Statue of Liberty.

You get OpryLand.

brizzad · 02-10-2005, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dina_C9

are you really that stupid?

stupid? every point in that letter was true

sumphatpimp · 02-10-2005, 09:41 AM

now what in the hell made you think he could read?

xxxice · 02-10-2005, 09:43 AM

Check out the song Letter to The President by 2pac

Bama · 02-10-2005, 09:43 AM

Yep Dina

Dumb as a rock - that's me!

I do however know how to get a stick out of the ass. I can fax you over those instructions if you'd like.

I'll go ahead and add directions on getting "tongue in cheek" - seems you're having difficulty there as well ;)

nico-t · 02-10-2005, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bama

OK, I get slammed twice as I voted for Bush

Finally! can you please explain to me why you voted for bush? And especially if you voted for bush the second time cuz that is something i really dont understand since he lied and fucked up the economy.
Did you add the ups and down next to eachother and actually looked at whats best for your country and the world? If not, why not? And why did you vote then for bush? Serious answer please i wanna know what someone moves to vote for that guy.

Rich · 02-10-2005, 10:52 AM

That's funny, but it's true. It's the ultimate tragedy of America is that all the useless rednecks in the slave states outnumber the intelligent people in the modern states. You have a bunch of uneducated religious fanatics forcing their will on the people who made America the great country it is. If it weren't for the "blue states", America would be the Christian version of Iran, with less technology and more inbreeding. Breaking up the country like that would make the slave states the most indebted, useless country on the face of the earth. These redneck christians who like to brag about how great their country is need to remember who built it, and what foundation it was built on. The slave states would be bankrupt, starving, and on the bring of being invaded by China within 6 months of a break up.

02-10-2005, 09:35 AM	#1
Bama Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Redmond, WA Posts: 2,727	Letter To The President OK, I get slammed twice as I voted for Bush and am from Alabama - but it's funny none the less Dear President Bush: Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North East. We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator, stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Old Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that. Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet that hurts. Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home. Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon. Sincerely, California

02-10-2005, 09:38 AM	#2
Dina_C9 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Montreal Posts: 930	are you really that stupid? __________________ \|\|\|\|\| $30 GALLERIES (sample) (sample) (sample) (sample) \|\|\|\|\| \|\|\|\|\| $500 PAYSITES (sample) (sample) (sample) (sample) \|\|\|\|\| \|\|\|\|\| More samples here -Contact us today- ICQ: 142007619 \|\|\|\|\|

02-10-2005, 09:39 AM	#3
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	yes, but Bush's country will get more sex, since they don't seem to worry about whether or not someone is a family member. __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

02-10-2005, 09:40 AM	#4
BRISK Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 12,240	We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. __________________ I post on GFY so that when people ask me what I do, I can tell them that I work with the mentally retarded.

02-10-2005, 10:52 AM	#10
Rich So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,486	That's funny, but it's true. It's the ultimate tragedy of America is that all the useless rednecks in the slave states outnumber the intelligent people in the modern states. You have a bunch of uneducated religious fanatics forcing their will on the people who made America the great country it is. If it weren't for the "blue states", America would be the Christian version of Iran, with less technology and more inbreeding. Breaking up the country like that would make the slave states the most indebted, useless country on the face of the earth. These redneck christians who like to brag about how great their country is need to remember who built it, and what foundation it was built on. The slave states would be bankrupt, starving, and on the bring of being invaded by China within 6 months of a break up. Last edited by Rich; 02-10-2005 at 10:54 AM..

02-10-2005, 09:41 AM	#6
sumphatpimp Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,235	now what in the hell made you think he could read?

02-10-2005, 09:43 AM	#7
xxxice Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 5,042	Check out the song Letter to The President by 2pac