Letter To The President
 

OK, I get slammed twice as I voted for Bush and am from Alabama - but it's funny none the less

Dear President Bush:


Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals.

Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue
States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the
North East.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California.
In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole
country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know
they need to be back in their states by then.

So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator,
stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get
Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty.


You get OpryLand.


We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get
Old Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about
two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay
their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the
Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch
of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.


Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies?

But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on
their Big Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving
California wine at your state dinners.

From now on it's imported French wine for you.


Ouch, bet that hurts.


Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and
anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens
back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your
evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their
deaths for absolutely no purpose.
And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets
coming home.


Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction.
Seriously. Soon.


Sincerely,
California

are you really that stupid?

yes, but Bush's country will get more sex, since they don't seem to worry about whether or not someone is a family member.

We get the Statue of Liberty.

You get OpryLand.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

stupid? every point in that letter was true

now what in the hell made you think he could read?

Check out the song Letter to The President by 2pac

Yep Dina

Dumb as a rock - that's me!

I do however know how to get a stick out of the ass. I can fax you over those instructions if you'd like.

I'll go ahead and add directions on getting "tongue in cheek" - seems you're having difficulty there as well ;)

Finally! can you please explain to me why you voted for bush? And especially if you voted for bush the second time cuz that is something i really dont understand since he lied and fucked up the economy.
Did you add the ups and down next to eachother and actually looked at whats best for your country and the world? If not, why not? And why did you vote then for bush? Serious answer please i wanna know what someone moves to vote for that guy.

That's funny, but it's true. It's the ultimate tragedy of America is that all the useless rednecks in the slave states outnumber the intelligent people in the modern states. You have a bunch of uneducated religious fanatics forcing their will on the people who made America the great country it is. If it weren't for the "blue states", America would be the Christian version of Iran, with less technology and more inbreeding. Breaking up the country like that would make the slave states the most indebted, useless country on the face of the earth. These redneck christians who like to brag about how great their country is need to remember who built it, and what foundation it was built on. The slave states would be bankrupt, starving, and on the bring of being invaded by China within 6 months of a break up.