Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded - GoFuckYourself.com

xxxmaster · 01-21-2005, 08:51 AM

1] My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2] A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

3] Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4] "Hi. Now you say something."

5] "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

6] "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

7] (From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!

8] "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

9] "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

10] "This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

11] "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

12] "Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

13] "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

14] Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

15] Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right .... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

DEA - banned for life · 01-21-2005, 08:54 AM

lol thats some funny shit man

brand0n · 01-21-2005, 08:56 AM

lol im about to use one of those

Screaming · 01-21-2005, 09:48 AM

Those are great. lol

DutchTeenCash · 01-21-2005, 09:50 AM

long ago i had one that said im not here leave a message between the beeps *beep beep* hehe... funny how ppl reacted

See Cig · 01-21-2005, 11:10 AM

good shit man

xxxmaster · 01-21-2005, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thinkx

long ago i had one that said im not here leave a message between the beeps *beep beep* hehe... funny how ppl reacted

thats funny because i used to have one that said "Hello......................Helllloo.............. .Hellllloooooo.............What The Fuck.............beeep.."
oh man people were always all fucked from i they had no idea what to say, most of the time the message that was left was the person calling was speaking to someone in the backround saying something like, he didnt hear me or that ass hole, now i have to call back.... ha ha it was funny shit

01-21-2005, 08:51 AM	#1
xxxmaster Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Hard Link Trades Always Wanted Icq: 319323350 Posts: 1,155	Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded 1] My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 2] A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. 3] Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. 4] "Hi. Now you say something." 5] "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." 6] "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?" 7] (From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave sexy message, I call sooner! 8] "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." 9] "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." 10] "This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call." 11] "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you." 12] "Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back." 13] "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message." 14] Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. 15] Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right .... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

01-21-2005, 08:56 AM	#3
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	lol im about to use one of those __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

01-21-2005, 09:48 AM	#4
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	Those are great. lol __________________

01-21-2005, 09:50 AM	#5
DutchTeenCash I like Dutch Girls Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: dutchteencash.com Posts: 21,684	long ago i had one that said im not here leave a message between the beeps beep beep hehe... funny how ppl reacted __________________ ICQ 16 91 547 - SKYPE dutchteencash bob AT dutchteencash DOT com ... did you see our newest Sweet Natural Girl Priscilla (18)?

01-21-2005, 11:10 AM	#6
See Cig Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 515	good shit man __________________ See Sig

01-21-2005, 08:54 AM	#2
DEA - banned for life V.I.P. Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: InYour Head Posts: 7,886	lol thats some funny shit man