Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded

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  • xxxmaster
    Confirmed User
    • Feb 2004
    • 1155

    #1

    Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded

    1] My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

    2] A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

    3] Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

    4] "Hi. Now you say something."

    5] "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

    6] "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

    7] (From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!

    8] "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

    9] "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

    10] "This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

    11] "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

    12] "Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

    13] "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

    14] Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

    15] Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right .... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
  • DEA - banned for life
    V.I.P.
    • Nov 2004
    • 7886

    #2
    lol thats some funny shit man

    Comment

    • brand0n
      been very busy
      • Nov 2002
      • 26983

      #3
      lol im about to use one of those
      want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

      Comment

      • Screaming
        I can change this!!!!!
        • Feb 2004
        • 18972

        #4
        Those are great. lol

        Comment

        • DutchTeenCash
          I like Dutch Girls
          • Feb 2003
          • 21684

          #5
          long ago i had one that said im not here leave a message between the beeps *beep beep* hehe... funny how ppl reacted

          ICQ 16 91 547 - SKYPE dutchteencash
          bob AT dutchteencash DOT com
          ... did you see our newest Sweet Natural Girl Priscilla (18)?

          Comment

          • See Cig
            Confirmed User
            • Jan 2005
            • 515

            #6
            good shit man
            See Sig

            Comment

            • xxxmaster
              Confirmed User
              • Feb 2004
              • 1155

              #7
              Originally posted by thinkx
              long ago i had one that said im not here leave a message between the beeps *beep beep* hehe... funny how ppl reacted
              thats funny because i used to have one that said "Hello......................Helllloo.............. .Hellllloooooo.............What The Fuck.............beeep.."
              oh man people were always all fucked from i they had no idea what to say, most of the time the message that was left was the person calling was speaking to someone in the backround saying something like, he didnt hear me or that ass hole, now i have to call back.... ha ha it was funny shit

              Comment

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