"WHY" and "IF" - GoFuckYourself.com

sharpx9 · 01-19-2005, 04:32 PM

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Do you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway

DWB · 01-19-2005, 04:46 PM

sharpx9 · 01-19-2005, 07:07 PM

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

ahahaha

that one cracks me up..

sickkittens · 01-19-2005, 07:11 PM

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways?

Pornwolf · 01-19-2005, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharpx9

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

ahahaha

that one cracks me up..

I never really thought about that until you mentioned it!

reynold · 01-19-2005, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharpx9

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Do you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway

Old stuff but it still makes me laugh.

volante · 01-19-2005, 07:23 PM

If knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?

kowntafit · 01-19-2005, 07:54 PM

Nice post, an interesting read.

sharpx9 · 01-19-2005, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sickkittens

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways?

nice :D

DEA - banned for life · 01-19-2005, 09:48 PM

funny stuff for sure..still

01-19-2005, 04:32 PM	#1
sharpx9 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Clearwater, FL Posts: 2,085	"WHY" and "IF" Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? What is the speed of darkness? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics? If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? Do you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway

01-19-2005, 07:11 PM	#4
sickkittens I am a meat popsicle. Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,100	Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? __________________ HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543

01-19-2005, 07:54 PM	#8
kowntafit Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 4,667	Nice post, an interesting read. __________________ This is where my next million is coming from!

01-19-2005, 04:46 PM	#2
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779

01-19-2005, 07:07 PM	#3
sharpx9 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Clearwater, FL Posts: 2,085	Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? ahahaha that one cracks me up..

01-19-2005, 07:23 PM	#7
volante Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: LAX Immigration Posts: 2,940	If knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?

01-19-2005, 09:48 PM	#10
DEA - banned for life V.I.P. Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: InYour Head Posts: 7,886	funny stuff for sure..still