Funny Pilot gripe Sheet [lolol] - GoFuckYourself.com

Jeff aka NIGHTfall · 01-15-2005, 05:33 PM

yes its old, but it dont matter, its still a good laugh even the 100th time around..

Thought this was hilarious, sorry i'm not too eager to remove the '>' either
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
>sheet,"
> >which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
> >correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
> >pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
> >
> >Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
> >some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the
> >solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
> >
> >By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
> >accident.
> >
> >----------------------------------------
> >(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
> >(S= The solution and action taken by
> > mechanics.)
> >
> >P: Left inside main tire almost needs
> > replacement.
> >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very
> > rough.
> >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Something loose in cockpit.
> >S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> >S: Live bugs on back-order.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode
> > produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing
> > gear.
> >S: Evidence removed.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> >S: DME volume set to more believable
> > level.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to
> > stick.
> >S: That's what they're for.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: IFF inoperative.
> >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> >S: Suspect you're right.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Number 3 engine missing.
> >S: Engine found on right wing after brief
> > search.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Aircraft handles funny.
> >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly
> > right, and be serious.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Target radar hums.
> >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Mouse in cockpit.
> >S: Cat installed.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Noise coming from under instrument
> > panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
> > on something with a hammer.
> >S: Took hammer away from midget

xclusive · 01-15-2005, 05:33 PM

lol funny

Manowar · 01-15-2005, 05:34 PM

Jeff aka NIGHTfall · 01-15-2005, 05:40 PM

abadfish · 01-15-2005, 05:50 PM

Those were funny! Made me laugh...

foxxx · 01-15-2005, 06:10 PM

quantas is spelt

QANTAS... ;)

foxxx · 01-15-2005, 06:14 PM

funny shit tho, gotta love our Aussie Airlines :D

Illicit · 01-15-2005, 06:16 PM

Remind me never to fly that airline

Jeff aka NIGHTfall · 01-15-2005, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxxx

quantas is spelt

QANTAS... ;)

oh well, i didnt write it

etech · 01-15-2005, 06:42 PM

newer seen it before, thanks for posting it. Made me laugh big time!

01-15-2005, 05:33 PM	#1
Jeff aka NIGHTfall Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Port St. Lucie, Florida Posts: 5,162	Funny Pilot gripe Sheet [lolol] yes its old, but it dont matter, its still a good laugh even the 100th time around.. Thought this was hilarious, sorry i'm not too eager to remove the '>' either After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe >sheet," > >which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics > >correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then > >pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. > > > >Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are > >some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the > >solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. > > > >By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an > >accident. > > > >---------------------------------------- > >(P= The problem logged by the pilot.) > >(S= The solution and action taken by > > mechanics.) > > > >P: Left inside main tire almost needs > > replacement. > >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very > > rough. > >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Something loose in cockpit. > >S: Something tightened in cockpit. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Dead bugs on windshield. > >S: Live bugs on back-order. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode > > produces a 200 feet per minute descent. > >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing > > gear. > >S: Evidence removed. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > >S: DME volume set to more believable > > level. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to > > stick. > >S: That's what they're for. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: IFF inoperative. > >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Suspected crack in windshield. > >S: Suspect you're right. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Number 3 engine missing. > >S: Engine found on right wing after brief > > search. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Aircraft handles funny. > >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly > > right, and be serious. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Target radar hums. > >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Mouse in cockpit. > >S: Cat installed. > >---------------------------------------- > >P: Noise coming from under instrument > > panel. Sounds like a midget pounding > > on something with a hammer. > >S: Took hammer away from midget __________________ Register Now For PimpinPays.com

01-15-2005, 05:33 PM	#2
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	lol funny __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

01-15-2005, 05:40 PM	#4
Jeff aka NIGHTfall Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Port St. Lucie, Florida Posts: 5,162	__________________ Register Now For PimpinPays.com

01-15-2005, 06:16 PM	#8
Illicit wtf ? Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: GFY Posts: 11,895	Remind me never to fly that airline __________________ Insert Sig Here

01-15-2005, 05:34 PM	#3
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

01-15-2005, 05:50 PM	#5
abadfish Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: WA Posts: 1,482	Those were funny! Made me laugh...

01-15-2005, 06:10 PM	#6
foxxx Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Gold Coast, Australia Posts: 573	quantas is spelt QANTAS... ;)

01-15-2005, 06:14 PM	#7
foxxx Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Gold Coast, Australia Posts: 573	funny shit tho, gotta love our Aussie Airlines :D

01-15-2005, 06:42 PM	#10
etech Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Right next to you.... Posts: 1,148	newer seen it before, thanks for posting it. Made me laugh big time!