iF YOUR WOMAN DENIES SEX: TRY THIS - GoFuckYourself.com

Jeff aka NIGHTfall · 12-18-2004, 03:52 AM

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted
new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Drake · 12-18-2004, 03:55 AM

xato · 12-18-2004, 03:55 AM

SleazyDream · 12-18-2004, 03:57 AM

the sad part is that was probally true

Project-Shadow · 12-18-2004, 03:59 AM

Bwuhahahahahaa

Natasha · 12-18-2004, 04:11 AM

that's hilarious!

d00t · 12-18-2004, 04:13 AM

hahaha

I am going to try that!

BackToMine · 12-18-2004, 04:17 AM

Napolean · 12-18-2004, 04:21 AM

Roald · 12-18-2004, 04:22 AM

hahaha

eiht_98 · 12-18-2004, 04:28 AM

lol...congrats Jeff...at one time I thought you'd buy all that and have great sex....lol....

groark · 12-18-2004, 04:28 AM

lol

milambur · 12-18-2004, 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff aka NIGHTfall
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

Next time say:
"Good I didn't feel like it either, I just thought you wanted too. Then hold her."

Drake · 12-18-2004, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by milambur
Next time say:
"Good I didn't feel like it either, I just thought you wanted too. Then hold her."

Paul · 12-18-2004, 04:35 AM

Post of the week

Illicit · 12-18-2004, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coatsy
Post of the week

DEFINATELY !!

If its true, I Hope you get sex someday lol wont be for a while after that

S P A N N O W · 12-18-2004, 04:54 AM

Well played brother!

SmutGiant · 12-18-2004, 04:58 AM

.....

maddox · 12-18-2004, 04:59 AM

man this is awesome!

Zester · 12-18-2004, 05:03 AM

this one is for the books

chemicaleyes · 12-18-2004, 05:17 AM

hahaha

best story on gfy for ages

Scott McD · 12-18-2004, 05:21 AM

Mwahaha !!

cheekycherry · 12-18-2004, 05:23 AM

gxer · 12-18-2004, 05:43 AM

lol

nosey · 12-18-2004, 05:46 AM

LOL

Ross · 12-18-2004, 05:50 AM

That'll teach the biatch !!

blazin · 12-18-2004, 05:50 AM

Very funny, even though I've read the story before

RobD · 12-18-2004, 06:10 AM

second time I read this but very funny still

Twe Russ · 12-18-2004, 06:13 AM

It is what it is.

tgpmakers · 12-18-2004, 06:25 AM

12-18-2004, 06:26 AM

i don't get it .....

j/k

Jer · 12-18-2004, 06:37 AM

ella · 12-18-2004, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff aka NIGHTfall
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Embrace yourself for a "no sex" weekend, you won't get lucky anytime soon imho.

Tala · 12-18-2004, 07:46 AM

NICE

foxylady · 12-18-2004, 07:52 AM

cool

MandyBlake · 12-18-2004, 08:11 AM

That's funny.
Side note...I've never understood women who turned down sex. Gotta say...I love it!

AnaNicole · 12-18-2004, 08:22 AM

lol

that was hilarius!!!!

pradaboy · 12-18-2004, 08:22 AM

excellent story Jeff, you really cracked me up...

oh and btw I don't think it will be just tonight... I think you'll suffer for a long time to come, good luck man

Fred Quimby · 12-18-2004, 08:35 AM

insert timeline

Manowar · 12-18-2004, 08:36 AM

nofx · 12-18-2004, 09:33 AM

evanmorgan · 12-18-2004, 09:36 AM

hahahaha lolololol

she was OWNED

Wiggles · 12-18-2004, 09:43 AM

lol that is the fucking best!

xclusive · 12-18-2004, 09:44 AM

What's this Sex thing you speak of? I have a 1 year 11month old and an 8 month old and been married 2 years I know not what you speak of anymore...

The Bootyologist · 12-18-2004, 09:46 AM

lol you are so dead

i feel sorry for you

you will be hearing about this untile you either break up or one of you dies

spamofon · 12-18-2004, 10:16 AM

men are from mars, women from venus, and gay people are from UrAnus

mikeyddddd · 12-18-2004, 10:25 AM

Very funny, dude. But, you're fucked for awhile - no fucking for you.

MickeyG · 12-18-2004, 10:28 AM

you da man!this is seriously some funny shit

Ecstasy Glass · 12-18-2004, 10:58 AM

That is definatly a classic.

Kristian · 12-18-2004, 11:17 AM

You're my new hero

12-18-2004, 03:52 AM	#1
Jeff aka NIGHTfall Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Port St. Lucie, Florida Posts: 5,162	iF YOUR WOMAN DENIES SEX: TRY THIS I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. __________________ Register Now For PimpinPays.com

12-18-2004, 03:55 AM	#3
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12-18-2004, 03:57 AM	#4
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12-18-2004, 04:11 AM	#6
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12-18-2004, 04:21 AM	#9
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12-18-2004, 03:55 AM	#2
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	lol

12-18-2004, 03:59 AM	#5
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12-18-2004, 04:13 AM	#7
d00t Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In your mind Posts: 3,766	hahaha I am going to try that!

12-18-2004, 04:17 AM	#8
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12-18-2004, 04:22 AM	#10
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12-18-2004, 04:28 AM	#11
eiht_98 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: EU Posts: 6,103	lol...congrats Jeff...at one time I thought you'd buy all that and have great sex....lol....

12-18-2004, 04:28 AM	#12
groark So Fucking Banned Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 1,966	lol

12-18-2004, 04:35 AM	#15
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12-18-2004, 04:54 AM	#17
S P A N N O W Everywhere You Wanna Be! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: NorCal Posts: 11,941	Well played brother! __________________ Ambush

12-18-2004, 04:58 AM	#18
SmutGiant Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 4,895	.....

12-18-2004, 04:59 AM	#19
maddox Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Vienna, Austria Posts: 648	man this is awesome!

12-18-2004, 05:03 AM	#20
Zester Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 5,344	this one is for the books __________________ * Mainstream ? $65 per sale * new male contraception

12-18-2004, 05:17 AM	#21
chemicaleyes UNSTOPPABLE Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: UK :: ICQ# 156068 Posts: 11,569	hahaha best story on gfy for ages __________________ No way as way, No limitation as limitation. AmeriNOC formally PhatServers

12-18-2004, 05:21 AM	#22
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12-18-2004, 05:23 AM	#23
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12-18-2004, 05:43 AM	#24
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12-18-2004, 05:50 AM	#26
Ross Ik ben een aap Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Traffic Force Towers, Canada! Posts: 18,874	That'll teach the biatch !!

12-18-2004, 05:50 AM	#27
blazin Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 2,781	Very funny, even though I've read the story before __________________ I don't endorse a god damn thing......

12-18-2004, 06:10 AM	#28
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12-18-2004, 06:13 AM	#29
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12-18-2004, 06:25 AM	#30
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12-18-2004, 06:26 AM	#31
Gasper Guest Posts: n/a	i don't get it ..... j/k

12-18-2004, 06:37 AM	#32
Jer God is Brazilian Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Brazil Posts: 10,601

12-18-2004, 07:46 AM	#34
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12-18-2004, 07:52 AM	#35
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12-18-2004, 08:11 AM	#36
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	That's funny. Side note...I've never understood women who turned down sex. Gotta say...I love it! __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

12-18-2004, 08:22 AM	#37
AnaNicole Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: PANAMA Posts: 454	lol that was hilarius!!!! __________________ [email protected] This is as simple as it gets!!! 30+ products to promote....All webmasters accepted....All traffic accepted....Downloadable executables....and much more!!!

12-18-2004, 08:22 AM	#38
pradaboy sell me your banners Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: on the tubes Posts: 12,931	excellent story Jeff, you really cracked me up... oh and btw I don't think it will be just tonight... I think you'll suffer for a long time to come, good luck man __________________ Media Buyer - Sell me your traffic! FREE to register domains... Better than 99% of the crap sold here!

12-18-2004, 08:35 AM	#39
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