iF YOUR WOMAN DENIES SEX: TRY THIS
 

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted
new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

lol

lol :thumbsup

the sad part is that was probally true

Bwuhahahahahaa :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

that's hilarious!

hahaha

I am going to try that! :thumbsup

http://backtomine.5p.org.uk/1orglaugh.gif
http://backtomine.5p.org.uk/1orglaugh.gif
http://backtomine.5p.org.uk/1orglaugh.gif
http://backtomine.5p.org.uk/1orglaugh.gif

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

hahaha :1orglaugh

lol...congrats Jeff...at one time I thought you'd buy all that and have great sex....lol....:thumbsup

lol :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Next time say:
"Good I didn't feel like it either, I just thought you wanted too. Then hold her."

:1orglaugh

Post of the week :thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh DEFINATELY !!

If its true, I Hope you get sex someday lol wont be for a while after that :glugglug

Well played brother! :thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :thumbsup :thumbsup
















.....


:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :thumbsup :thumbsup

man this is awesome!

this one is for the books

hahaha :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
best story on gfy for ages :thumbsup

Mwahaha !! :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

lol :1orglaugh :thumbsup

LOL :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

That'll teach the biatch !! :1orglaugh

Very funny, even though I've read the story before :)

second time I read this but very funny still :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

It is what it is.

:Graucho :Graucho :Graucho :Graucho :glugglug :glugglug :glugglug :glugglug :glugglug :glugglug :glugglug :thumbsup

i don't get it .....






































j/k

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
Embrace yourself for a "no sex" weekend, you won't get lucky anytime soon imho. :winkwink:

NICE

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

cool :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

That's funny.
Side note...I've never understood women who turned down sex. Gotta say...I love it! :)

lol

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh


that was hilarius!!!!

:1orglaugh excellent story Jeff, you really cracked me up...

oh and btw I don't think it will be just tonight... I think you'll suffer for a long time to come, good luck man :thumbsup

insert timeline

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:thumbsup :1orglaugh

hahahaha lolololol

she was OWNED

lol that is the fucking best! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

What's this Sex thing you speak of? I have a 1 year 11month old and an 8 month old and been married 2 years I know not what you speak of anymore...

lol you are so dead

i feel sorry for you

you will be hearing about this untile you either break up or one of you dies:Graucho

men are from mars, women from venus, and gay people are from UrAnus

Very funny, dude. But, you're fucked for awhile - no fucking for you.

you da man!this is seriously some funny shit :1orglaugh

That is definatly a classic. :1orglaugh

You're my new hero :1orglaugh