100 to go

* Wear a LOT of cologne.

* Ask to ''interface'' with someone.

* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed

and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your ''superior mental processing.''

* Sing along at the opera.

* Mow your lawn with scissors.

* At a golf tournament

chant ''swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!''

* Finish all your sentences with the words ''in accordance with prophesy.''

* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions

and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ''psychological profiles.''

* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ''magic picture''.

* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

* Scuff your feet on a dry

shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences

producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

* Never make eye contact.

* Never break eye contact.

* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

* Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn.

* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it

announcing the results.

* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

* Make appointments for the 31st of September.

* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

smokin

* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.

New FDA Alcohol Warnings for Booze Bottles

:thumbsup :thumbsup

Help me a bit out there to get this thread up :P

3. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again.

4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. Consumption of alcohol may convince you that your ex is really dying to hear from you at 4 am.

6. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

7. Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

8. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you're tougher than a really big guy named Kong.

9. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

10. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Damn I skipped some lines . 7 am and haven't slept ... almost done with my lists thought

11. Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum

whereby small... or large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

12. Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

Top 10 Party Games for People Over 50

1. Sag! You're it!

2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.

3. 20 questions shouted in your good ear.