Gary

cook monkey eyes? I'm making a snack and i cant figure out if i should boil or deep fry?

CDSmith

On a Friday night, deep fry, definitely deep fry.

Amputate Your Head

Shishkabob.

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PUT CHILDISH TOYS AWAY - DOWN WITH THE BONEPRONE STUPIDITY.

Lensman

OK, that's it.

Hooper

what is it? shishkabobbing or deep frying? ;-))

CDSmith

I've been waiting for the boom to get lowered for hours now.

The jig's up people. Head's are gonna roll.

goodgirl

hey I like monkeys!

Wait I like the joke!

hehe.

God, I like monkeys!


I like monkeys.


The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.


I thought this was odd since
they are normally a couple thousand apiece.

I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of
them.


I like monkeys.


I took my 200 monkeys home.
I have a big car.

I let one of them drive.
His name was Sigmund.

He was retarded.

In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching
themselves in the genitals.

I laughed.

They punched me in the genitals.

I stopped laughing.


When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very
well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the
couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first,
the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:

they all died.

No apparent reason.

They all just sort of dropped dead.
Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.

God
damn
cheap
monkeys.


I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over
my room;

on the bed,

in the dresser,

hanging from my bookcase.

It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.


I tried to flush one down the toilet.

It didn't work.

It got stuck.


Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry
monkeys.

I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals.


That worked for awhile,
that is,
until they began to decompose.

It started to smell real bad.


I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and
I didn't want to call a plumber.

I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
Unfortunately there was only enough room for two at a time,
so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the
food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.


I tried to burn them,
but little did I know that my bed was flammable.

I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys
in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile
on my bed, and

The odor wasn't improving.


I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and
I really had to use the bathroom.


So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys.

I felt better.


I tried throwing them away,

but the garbage man said the city
was not allowed to dispose of charred primates.

I told him I had a wet one.

He couldn't take it either.


I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.


I finally arrived at a solution:

I gave them out as Christmas gifts.

My friends didn't quite know what to say.

They pretended to like
them, but I could tell they were lying.

Ingrates.

So I punched them in the genitals.


God, I like monkeys.




------------------
Good Girls Swallow TGP

Good Girls Clean Gallery List
Eraser Cash
Synergy Design & Technologies

Lensman

Gary is gone now, should've been done the first day he posted.

Amputate Your Head

You do know that circus monkeys chewed my face as a small boy... right?

------------------
PUT CHILDISH TOYS AWAY - DOWN WITH THE BONEPRONE STUPIDITY.

Hooper

did you really just terminate gary?

Amputate Your Head

Ouch.... spanked.

CDSmith

I wonder what Gary will come back as?

Monkeyboy? A butterfly?
Right now he's a moth that flew too close to the flame

Hot Tropical Babes

Gary wasnt the brightest bulb in the strand of lights. How many warnings does an "Adult" need? What, was he going for the class clown award?

Lensman

Hooper, I know Gary was your friend, but you really shouldn't give a homeless guy a PC. It's too powerful a tool.

Hooper

It sounds like i've clearly missed a great deal of previous dialogue regardig Gary.

Wasn't aware of any problems.

Lensman

That's easy, just read the last 3 threads he's started.

CDSmith

If only he'd included the term "html" or "website" in this monkey-eye-cooking thread he'd still be here now.

I'll miss him, his timing on certain posts was impeccable

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Hooper

I actually didn't know him in any way except from here.

I thought that he had a good sense of humor.

What exactly are the rules regarding posting here? I can't seem to find them anywhere.

CDSmith

Rule 1: Don't start a thread about cooking monkey eyes unless it's to do with webmastering somehow.

RIPgary

With the hundreds of useless posts tonight, im surprised that gary fella got banned.

oh well, the little bastard deserved it.