Win An EPIC CASH jersey in this thread! - Page 7 - GoFuckYourself.com

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:13 PM

Rooster

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks.
So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, ?Yeah, I?ve got this great rooster named Chuck. He?ll service every chicken you got, no problem.?

Well, Chuck the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he?d be worth it. So, he buys Chuck. The farmer takes Chuck home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk, ?Chuck, I want you to pace yourself now. You?ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I?ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,? the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Chuck seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Chuck took off like a shot. - WHAM! - Chuck nails every hen in the hen house - - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Chuck is in there. Later, the farmer sees Chuck after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - He gets all the geese.

By sunset he sees Chuck out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught?worried that his expensive rooster won?t even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Chuck dead as a doorknob?stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, ?Oh Chuck, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you?ve done to yourself.?

Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, ?Shhhh, they?re getting closer.....?

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:14 PM

Three Buttons

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men?s restroom, but found it to be occupied.
The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and had a look of pain and anxiety on his face. ?Sir,? she said, ?the ladies? restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.?

He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: ?WW?, ?WA?, and ?PP?, and there was one red button labeled ?ATR.?

Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn?t just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the ?WW? button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men?s restroom didn?t have nice things like this.

Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the ?WA? button. Warm air replaced the warm water, wafting and swirling about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the ?PP? button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies? room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender, loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy.

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.

?What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies? restroom on a flight to Atlanta!?

?You pushed one too many buttons,? replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. ?That last button marked ?ATR? is an automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow.?

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:16 PM

Beautiful

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word ?beautiful? in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ?My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.?

?Very good, Suzie,? replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael.

?My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,? he said.

?Excellent, Michael!?

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.

?Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ?Beautiful, ......just fucking beautiful!??

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:17 PM

Little Johnny's Question

A teacher asks her class, ?If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left??
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ?None, they all fly away with the first gun shot?

The teacher replies ?The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.?

Then Little Johnny says ?I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married??

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ?Well I suppose the one that?s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone?

To which Little Johnny replied, ?The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.?

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:17 PM

Bra Shopping

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, ?Do you have a size 28AAAA bra??
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, ?Do you have anything for this??

The lady looked closely at her and replied, ?Have you tried Clearasil??

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:19 PM

CIA Test

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. ?We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!? The man said, ?You can?t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.?

The agent said, ?Then you?re not the right man for this job.?

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. ?I tried, but I can?t kill my wife.?

The agent said, ?You don?t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.?

Finally, it was the woman?s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, ?You guys didn?t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.?

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:19 PM

Cursing Fish

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before; the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a shot, father."
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says, "Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!"

The priest says, "Ah, please sir, can you mind your language?"

The fisherman responds (thinking quickly), "I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called---a sonofabitch!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the priest. "I didn't know."

After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop. "Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!"

"Please father," says the bishop. "Mind your language, this is a house of God."

"No, you don't understand," says the priest. "That's what this fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"

"Hmmm," says the bishop. "You know, I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have it for dinner."

So the bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother Superior at the convent.

"Mother Superior, could you cook this sonofabitch for our dinner tonight with the Pope?"

"My lord, what language!" says the mother.

"No, sister," says the bishop. "That's what the fish is called---a sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we'd like you to cook it"

"Hmmm," replies Mother Superior. "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight."

While the Pope is over for dinner that evening he remarks that the fish is superb. He asks where they got it.

"I caught the sonofabitch!" says the priest.

"And I cleaned the sonofabitch!" says the bishop.

"And I cooked the sonofabitch!" says Mother Superior.

The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, "You know, you fuckers are all right.".

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:20 PM

Needs

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says ?I don?t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.?
The husband says ?WHAT???

The wife says, ?You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman.?

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.

He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can?t decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. Then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, ?But you don?t even play tennis, but OK, if you like it then let?s get it.?

The wife is jumping up and down ? she?s so excited, she cannot believe what is going on.

She says ?I?m ready to go, let?s go to the cash register.? The husband says, ?No - no - no, honey we?re not going to buy all this stuff.? The wife?s face goes blank, ?No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.?

Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the husband says ?You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man.?

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:22 PM

Bar... Alabama

This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?"

"I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals."

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"

cool1

media · 10-30-2004, 05:22 PM

keep it up and you will win! only 3 more pages to go!!!!

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 05:26 PM

I will

time for a short toke break.

psyko514 · 10-30-2004, 06:06 PM

meow.

VIPimp · 10-30-2004, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by psyko514
meow.

ruff ruff

psyko514 · 10-30-2004, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by VIPimp
ruff ruff

you dirty man.

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:12 PM

ok im here now well get this post going :-)

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:13 PM

ill try to finish it up tonight for ya guys

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:13 PM

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:14 PM

posting my halloween pics today

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:14 PM

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:15 PM

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:16 PM

wickedvenus

alias · 10-30-2004, 08:16 PM

EC jerseys are tainted, too many fags have em.. .

Can I get the $ instead?

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:16 PM

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by alias
EC jerseys are tainted, too many fags have em.. .

Can I get the $ instead?

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:17 PM

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:18 PM

wickedvenus

alias · 10-30-2004, 08:18 PM

wickedpostwhore, is that m4nual or you got a fuckin b0t?

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:19 PM

wickedvenus

Spunky · 10-30-2004, 08:19 PM

Gimmie one in exchange for my sig

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by alias
wickedpostwhore, is that m4nual or you got a fuckin b0t?

im manual im not a bot. He said we can post as much as we wanted to

wickedvenus

alias · 10-30-2004, 08:21 PM

mrmsux

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by spunky
Gimmie one in exchange for my sig

Hi spunky

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by alias
mrmsux

whay does it suck, make sure you post your epic id as well. thast what he said so that way you may win

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:24 PM

wickedvenus

VIPimp · 10-30-2004, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by alias
mrmsux

yes he does

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:24 PM

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:25 PM

ok ill stop for a bit so you dont think im a bot

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:28 PM

ok im back ill keep bumping for the night

wickedvenus

Spunky · 10-30-2004, 08:30 PM

spunky1...gimmie a jersey

WickedVenus..ignore them Juicy can do it 500 times in a thread so why not you

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by spunky
spunky1...gimmie a jersey
WickedVenus..ignore them Juicy can do it 500 times in a thread so why not you

yep lol im not worried about them :-)

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:32 PM

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:35 PM

Epic Epic here I am show me a jersey if you can :-)

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:36 PM

Artist: Snoop Dogg f/ Silkk the Shocker
Album: No Limit Top Dogg
Song: Gangsta Ride

Chorus: Snoop Dogg *singing* (2X)

It's a gangsta gangsta ride
On the nutty danger side
As we ride, dip and slippin
Take your mind, on a high

[Silkk the Shocker]
Yo yo, from that DPG nigga to the CP3
Back to the house, East to the West
Now take it BACK to the South
You know.. how I switch my flow
If I'm lapsin you glad niggaz'll get mad then, hit the flo'
Gotta bag me some dank so I, hit the sto'
In the winter it's the Hummer for the summer it's the, six-fo'
Got niggaz mad at me (why?) Cause they can't get no six
Bitches upset with me (why?) Cause they can't get no dick
I'ma be on top of the game whether I'm, broke or rich
I don't stop once I'm on top I just drop mo' hits
I'm in the club with the thug, I just pop mo' Crist'
Tell Snoop to get the Coupe his new shit I just, gots to go get
Cause when I cock my shit, usually I pop my shit
Tell all you teary eyed females gettin over-offended
cause I don't jock no chick
I'm the Boss, and I don't follow no person, I follow Jesus
Y'all blame a bunch of kids, so I gotta roll my Adidas

Chorus

[Snoop Dogg]
Boom bam as I step in the jam, god damn
Don't need no introduction, cause you know who I am
The S-N-double-O-P, the only, fo' sho'
Now motherfuckers let me hear you say hoe
I spit ya, spat at ya, whoot wham, get at ya
Rider, I threw a slider, right at ya
Mash ya, gat ya, drip-drop the hatchet
Keep the party crackin, while I'm steady rappin
This game we run, y'all know what's happenin
We back in effect, we got the heat on deck
I'm slidin down South with a blunt in my mouth
I catch a plane out East and try to make some peace
I'm hangin with my niggaz in the projects
The homie's throwin a party, I gotta get back West
Oh yeah -- that's right, we are the best
No Limit DPG Southwest connects, ya feel me?

Chorus

[Snoop Dogg]
Keep it gangsta
Keep it gangsta, keep it gangsta dogg
Keep it, keep it gangsta dogg
Yeah, we keep it gangsta dogg
Fo' sho', we keep it gangsta dogg, what?
Yeah, I wanna say whattup to all them gangstas
out there on the Eastisde
(on the Southside, on the Northside) Yeah
(on the Westside)
Y'all niggaz need to point the guns in the right directions
Ya know, ya heard?

Chorus 3X

* Snoop and Silkk talk to outro *

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:37 PM

happy halloween!! my house is all decorated!!

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:38 PM

get out an vote on the 2nd!

Vote Kerry

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:42 PM

Tales From The Shire

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

wickedvenus

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:43 PM

Why don't witches wear panties?
Better grip on the broom.

wickedvenus

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 08:46 PM

Slowly it moves along its predetermined path.

cool1

cool1 · 10-30-2004, 08:48 PM

It will get there

cool1

WickedVenus · 10-30-2004, 08:48 PM

it will get there tonight :-)

wickedvenus

10-30-2004, 05:13 PM	#301
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Rooster This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, ?Yeah, I?ve got this great rooster named Chuck. He?ll service every chicken you got, no problem.? Well, Chuck the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he?d be worth it. So, he buys Chuck. The farmer takes Chuck home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk, ?Chuck, I want you to pace yourself now. You?ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I?ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,? the farmer said, with a chuckle. Chuck seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Chuck took off like a shot. - WHAM! - Chuck nails every hen in the hen house - - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Chuck is in there. Later, the farmer sees Chuck after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Chuck out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught?worried that his expensive rooster won?t even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Chuck dead as a doorknob?stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, ?Oh Chuck, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you?ve done to yourself.? Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, ?Shhhh, they?re getting closer.....? cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:14 PM	#302
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Three Buttons A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men?s restroom, but found it to be occupied. The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and had a look of pain and anxiety on his face. ?Sir,? she said, ?the ladies? restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.? He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: ?WW?, ?WA?, and ?PP?, and there was one red button labeled ?ATR.? Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn?t just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the ?WW? button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men?s restroom didn?t have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the ?WA? button. Warm air replaced the warm water, wafting and swirling about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the ?PP? button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure. The ladies? room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender, loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy. He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. ?What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies? restroom on a flight to Atlanta!? ?You pushed one too many buttons,? replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. ?That last button marked ?ATR? is an automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow.? cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:16 PM	#303
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Beautiful One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word ?beautiful? in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ?My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.? ?Very good, Suzie,? replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. ?My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,? he said. ?Excellent, Michael!? Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. ?Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ?Beautiful, ......just fucking beautiful!?? cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:17 PM	#304
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Little Johnny's Question A teacher asks her class, ?If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?? She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ?None, they all fly away with the first gun shot? The teacher replies ?The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.? Then Little Johnny says ?I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?? The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ?Well I suppose the one that?s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone? To which Little Johnny replied, ?The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.? cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:17 PM	#305
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Bra Shopping A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, ?Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?? The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, ?Do you have anything for this?? The lady looked closely at her and replied, ?Have you tried Clearasil?? cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:19 PM	#306
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	CIA Test The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. ?We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!? The man said, ?You can?t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.? The agent said, ?Then you?re not the right man for this job.? The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. ?I tried, but I can?t kill my wife.? The agent said, ?You don?t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.? Finally, it was the woman?s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, ?You guys didn?t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.? cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:19 PM	#307
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Cursing Fish One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before; the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a shot, father." After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says, "Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!" The priest says, "Ah, please sir, can you mind your language?" The fisherman responds (thinking quickly), "I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called---a sonofabitch!" "Oh, I'm sorry," says the priest. "I didn't know." After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop. "Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!" "Please father," says the bishop. "Mind your language, this is a house of God." "No, you don't understand," says the priest. "That's what this fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!" "Hmmm," says the bishop. "You know, I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have it for dinner." So the bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother Superior at the convent. "Mother Superior, could you cook this sonofabitch for our dinner tonight with the Pope?" "My lord, what language!" says the mother. "No, sister," says the bishop. "That's what the fish is called---a sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we'd like you to cook it" "Hmmm," replies Mother Superior. "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight." While the Pope is over for dinner that evening he remarks that the fish is superb. He asks where they got it. "I caught the sonofabitch!" says the priest. "And I cleaned the sonofabitch!" says the bishop. "And I cooked the sonofabitch!" says Mother Superior. The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, "You know, you fuckers are all right.". cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:20 PM	#308
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Needs Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says ?I don?t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.? The husband says ?WHAT??? The wife says, ?You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman.? The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can?t decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. Then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, ?But you don?t even play tennis, but OK, if you like it then let?s get it.? The wife is jumping up and down ? she?s so excited, she cannot believe what is going on. She says ?I?m ready to go, let?s go to the cash register.? The husband says, ?No - no - no, honey we?re not going to buy all this stuff.? The wife?s face goes blank, ?No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.? Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the husband says ?You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man.? cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:22 PM	#309
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Bar... Alabama This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?" "No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?" "I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!" cool1 __________________

10-30-2004, 05:22 PM	#310
media Confirmed Moneymaker Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Eugene, OR It's Like Jail, Only with Trees! Posts: 9,853	keep it up and you will win! only 3 more pages to go!!!! __________________ I'm here for the violence!

10-30-2004, 05:26 PM	#311
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	I will time for a short toke break. __________________

10-30-2004, 06:06 PM	#312
psyko514 See sig. Join Epic Cash. Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec. ICQ: 214702014 Posts: 22,366	meow. __________________ Bad Girl Bucks - 50% Revshare through CCBill. Promote BrandyDDD, Pixie's Pillows, Action Allie and more! Phoenix Forum Pics \| Webmaster Access Montreal pics email: psyko514(a)gmail.com \| icq: 214-702-014

10-30-2004, 08:12 PM	#315
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	ok im here now well get this post going :-) wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:13 PM	#316
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	ill try to finish it up tonight for ya guys wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:13 PM	#317
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:14 PM	#318
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	posting my halloween pics today wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:14 PM	#319
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:15 PM	#320
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:16 PM	#321
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:16 PM	#322
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	EC jerseys are tainted, too many fags have em.. . Can I get the $ instead? __________________ https://porncorporation.com

10-30-2004, 08:16 PM	#323
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:17 PM	#325
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:18 PM	#326
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:18 PM	#327
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	wickedpostwhore, is that m4nual or you got a fuckin b0t? __________________ https://porncorporation.com

10-30-2004, 08:19 PM	#328
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:19 PM	#329
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,982	Gimmie one in exchange for my sig __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

10-30-2004, 08:21 PM	#331
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	mrmsux __________________ https://porncorporation.com

10-30-2004, 08:24 PM	#334
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:24 PM	#336
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:25 PM	#337
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	ok ill stop for a bit so you dont think im a bot wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:28 PM	#338
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	ok im back ill keep bumping for the night wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:30 PM	#339
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,982	spunky1...gimmie a jersey WickedVenus..ignore them Juicy can do it 500 times in a thread so why not you __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

10-30-2004, 08:32 PM	#341
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:35 PM	#342
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	Epic Epic here I am show me a jersey if you can :-) wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

10-30-2004, 08:36 PM	#343
WickedVenus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ICQ: 309691342 ---- Yahoo Messenger: wickedvenus_acv Posts: 3,877	Artist: Snoop Dogg f/ Silkk the Shocker Album: No Limit Top Dogg Song: Gangsta Ride Chorus: Snoop Dogg singing (2X) It's a gangsta gangsta ride On the nutty danger side As we ride, dip and slippin Take your mind, on a high [Silkk the Shocker] Yo yo, from that DPG nigga to the CP3 Back to the house, East to the West Now take it BACK to the South You know.. how I switch my flow If I'm lapsin you glad niggaz'll get mad then, hit the flo' Gotta bag me some dank so I, hit the sto' In the winter it's the Hummer for the summer it's the, six-fo' Got niggaz mad at me (why?) Cause they can't get no six Bitches upset with me (why?) Cause they can't get no dick I'ma be on top of the game whether I'm, broke or rich I don't stop once I'm on top I just drop mo' hits I'm in the club with the thug, I just pop mo' Crist' Tell Snoop to get the Coupe his new shit I just, gots to go get Cause when I cock my shit, usually I pop my shit Tell all you teary eyed females gettin over-offended cause I don't jock no chick I'm the Boss, and I don't follow no person, I follow Jesus Y'all blame a bunch of kids, so I gotta roll my Adidas Chorus [Snoop Dogg] Boom bam as I step in the jam, god damn Don't need no introduction, cause you know who I am The S-N-double-O-P, the only, fo' sho' Now motherfuckers let me hear you say hoe I spit ya, spat at ya, whoot wham, get at ya Rider, I threw a slider, right at ya Mash ya, gat ya, drip-drop the hatchet Keep the party crackin, while I'm steady rappin This game we run, y'all know what's happenin We back in effect, we got the heat on deck I'm slidin down South with a blunt in my mouth I catch a plane out East and try to make some peace I'm hangin with my niggaz in the projects The homie's throwin a party, I gotta get back West Oh yeah -- that's right, we are the best No Limit DPG Southwest connects, ya feel me? Chorus [Snoop Dogg] Keep it gangsta Keep it gangsta, keep it gangsta dogg Keep it, keep it gangsta dogg Yeah, we keep it gangsta dogg Fo' sho', we keep it gangsta dogg, what? Yeah, I wanna say whattup to all them gangstas out there on the Eastisde (on the Southside, on the Northside) Yeah (on the Westside) Y'all niggaz need to point the guns in the right directions Ya know, ya heard? Chorus 3X * Snoop and Silkk talk to outro * wickedvenus __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.