know how to pass a piss test? - GoFuckYourself.com

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 10:31 AM

I quit smoking like 2 weeks before the test (for a job), but i smoked a lot before that so I want to be safe. I know to drink tons of water right before. Any other remedies?

candyflip · 10-28-2004, 10:33 AM

Someone has a pre-tested urine business.

http://www.pretestedurine.com/clean-...g-test-kit.htm

brand0n · 10-28-2004, 10:34 AM

my first thought would be not to smoke weed or do any other drugs that might show up

call me slow...

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by candyflip
Someone has a pre-tested urine business.

http://www.pretestedurine.com/clean-...g-test-kit.htm

haha i dont have the cash for other ppl's urine or detox drinks, i'm a po folk

Gynecologist · 10-28-2004, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by candyflip
Someone has a pre-tested urine business.

http://www.pretestedurine.com/clean-...g-test-kit.htm

I have passed several buy drinking a few gallons of water the morning of the test. Drink until you get sick and them drink some more.

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by brand0n
my first thought would be not to smoke weed or do any other drugs that might show up

call me slow...

I said I stopped.

sperbonzo · 10-28-2004, 10:37 AM

Drink large quantities of cranberry juice (not the cocktail, the real juice)

Drink LOTS of it. It clears out your urinary tract. (that combined with water)

....and don't smoke pot anymore. Give it up already!

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sperbonzo
Drink large quantities of cranberry juice (not the cocktail, the real juice)

Drink LOTS of it. It clears out your urinary tract. (that combined with water)

....and don't smoke pot anymore. Give it up already!

ha, i have a half oz ready for after the test!

stevecore · 10-28-2004, 10:39 AM

drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

sperbonzo · 10-28-2004, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sperbonzo
Drink large quantities of cranberry juice (not the cocktail, the real juice)

Drink LOTS of it. It clears out your urinary tract. (that combined with water)

And Do this starting NOW, not just right before. You need to have as much cranberry juice and water flowing through your urinary tract as possible BEFORE you actually go in to take the test. If you have a week before the test - Great! If not, just get down as much as you can, and pee as often as you can before you have to go in.

kenny · 10-28-2004, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by brand0n
my first thought would be not to smoke weed or do any other drugs that might show up

call me slow...

Thats the only real way.

If its a zero tolerance UA drinking a bunch of water will never work.

Zero tolerance UA tests for products that are designed to hide the drugs too

Lucy · 10-28-2004, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sperbonzo
Drink large quantities of cranberry juice (not the cocktail, the real juice)

Drink LOTS of it. It clears out your urinary tract. (that combined with water)

....and don't smoke pot anymore. Give it up already!

what he said

kmanrox · 10-28-2004, 10:42 AM

just call or go to your local Head Shop, there's all kinds of 1 time drinks you can take the day of the test that will fix the test for you. I've seen many ppl take these, and they passed every time. It will run you about $35

anything else you're told is a wive's tale.

trust me.. hit me on ICQ if you want elaboration.

kenny · 10-28-2004, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kmanrox
just call or go to your local Head Shop, there's all kinds of 1 time drinks you can take the day of the test that will fix the test for you. I've seen many ppl take these, and they passed every time. It will run you about $35

anything else you're told is a wive's tale.

trust me.. hit me on ICQ if you want elaboration.

Those don't work anymore

Like "Golden Seal" or something similar

Magg · 10-28-2004, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GirlNinja
ha, i have a half oz ready for after the test!

you wonder why youre poor?

kmanrox · 10-28-2004, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kenny
Those don't work anymore

Like "Golden Seal" or something similar

are you sure? since when?

cocky · 10-28-2004, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by brand0n
my first thought would be not to smoke weed or do any other drugs that might show up

call me slow...

no shit, huh

BigDave1 · 10-28-2004, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GirlNinja
I quit smoking like 2 weeks before the test (for a job), but i smoked a lot before that so I want to be safe. I know to drink tons of water right before. Any other remedies?

You quit smoking weed 2 weeks ago and expect to pass a test?

Wow.... amazing.

Yeah there are lot's of advertised ways to "clean your system" but the new tests are too exact. The newest tests can detect shit in your system for the past 30 to 90 days (depending on the test and the drug).

Maybe toss the weed in the trash and try to get a job in about 90 days when you're really clean?

kenny · 10-28-2004, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kmanrox
are you sure? since when?

I know it doesn't work anymore from people failing UAs.

Probation violations, etc.

Here is article I just found on Google:

http://cannabisnews.com/news/thread10010.shtml

Manowar · 10-28-2004, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by candyflip
Someone has a pre-tested urine business.

http://www.pretestedurine.com/clean-...g-test-kit.htm

i wonder if they have an affiliate program

Rob · 10-28-2004, 12:27 PM

OH THE IRONY OF THIS THREAD!!!!

One of the biggest activist in this thread http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...adid=378810&s= just happens to be...you guessed it, GIRLNINJA!!!

stocktrader23 · 10-28-2004, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HighOnAcid
OH THE IRONY OF THIS THREAD!!!!

One of the biggest activist in this thread http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...adid=378810&s= just happens to be...you guessed it, GIRLNINJA!!!

shhhhhhhhhh

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HighOnAcid
OH THE IRONY OF THIS THREAD!!!!

One of the biggest activist in this thread http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...adid=378810&s= just happens to be...you guessed it, GIRLNINJA!!!

Where is the irony in a pot head needing to pass a piss test?

fris · 10-28-2004, 12:34 PM

i remembeer seing something on 420times.com

stocktrader23 · 10-28-2004, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GirlNinja
Where is the irony in a pot head needing to pass a piss test?

High school with honors, free college, gonna have a great job......and all of it can be literally pissed away in a matter of minutes.

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by stocktrader23
High school with honors, free college, gonna have a great job......and all of it can be literally pissed away in a matter of minutes.

This test is for a job at the hospital. Not EVERYTHING will be pissed away, only a job at the hospital.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna pass it though.

SmokeyTheBear · 10-28-2004, 12:53 PM

If your screwed heres what you do..

Right before you go in for the pee test pour some bleach over your hands.. let it dry off , but dont wipe it off. ( it will dry quick )

Ok now when you do the pee test , just piss a little bit on the tips of your fingers and the residual bleach will leech out into the pee and invalidate the test.. In a few weeks , they will likely call you back for another test, ( this gives you the time to get really clean )

mookienow · 10-28-2004, 12:53 PM

Piss for enjoyment not employment....

Go to a headshop they should have some piss-rite Its a geliten vita drink that tastes like crap. Also golden seal helps mask it, but don't use both.

stocktrader23 · 10-28-2004, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GirlNinja
This test is for a job at the hospital. Not EVERYTHING will be pissed away, only a job at the hospital.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna pass it though.

So you think the hospital is going to test you but not your "dream job" whatever it may be? Most any respectable job not only tests you before hiring they also throw in a few random ones for fun.

Good luck.

xclusive · 10-28-2004, 12:56 PM

Don't do drugs and you will pass the test...

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by stocktrader23
So you think the hospital is going to test you but not your "dream job" whatever it may be? Most any respectable job not only tests you before hiring they also throw in a few random ones for fun.

Good luck.

I know that. But that isn't the case right now.

Phoenix · 10-28-2004, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SmokeyTheBear
If your screwed heres what you do..

Right before you go in for the pee test pour some bleach over your hands.. let it dry off , but dont wipe it off. ( it will dry quick )

Ok now when you do the pee test , just piss a little bit on the tips of your fingers and the residual bleach will leech out into the pee and invalidate the test.. In a few weeks , they will likely call you back for another test, ( this gives you the time to get really clean )

that is genius and might just work

GirlNinja · 10-28-2004, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Phoenix
that is genius and might just work

some guy told me to drink a teaspoon of bleach in a glass of orange juice... i dont know about all that. . .

VIPimp · 10-28-2004, 01:00 PM

this is what you need: http://www.herbalgains.com/catalog/p...71a781f68f4911

kenny · 10-28-2004, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GirlNinja
some guy told me to drink a teaspoon of bleach in a glass of orange juice... i dont know about all that. . .

Don't drink bleach

kenny · 10-28-2004, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SmokeyTheBear
If your screwed heres what you do..

Right before you go in for the pee test pour some bleach over your hands.. let it dry off , but dont wipe it off. ( it will dry quick )

Ok now when you do the pee test , just piss a little bit on the tips of your fingers and the residual bleach will leech out into the pee and invalidate the test.. In a few weeks , they will likely call you back for another test, ( this gives you the time to get really clean )

That works but they know about it.

Rob · 10-28-2004, 01:21 PM

If there's any trace of bleach in your piss then you're automatically disqualified from the job. They won't call you back for another test!

"Um yeah, Mr. Johnson...we found BLEECH in your piss so the test was inconclusive can you please come back in for another test but please try not to drink BLEECH before this test." Give me a fucking break!

stocktrader23 · 10-28-2004, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HighOnAcid
If there's any trace of bleach in your piss then you're automatically disqualified from the job. They won't call you back for another test!

"Um yeah, Mr. Johnson...we found BLEECH in your piss so the test was inconclusive can you please come back in for another test but please try not to drink BLEECH before this test." Give me a fucking break!

Maybe it works in Canada. Guy I talked to before told me he passed urine tests by using a catheter. I don't remember the specifics but wft?

M_M · 10-28-2004, 01:25 PM

I'd let you pee on me

woj · 10-28-2004, 01:45 PM

eating a good meal before the test may be a good idea too... if you drink too much water the piss may become too watered down and you may be accused of trying to manipulate with the results....

jmk · 10-28-2004, 01:45 PM

suck the tester's cock ?

bjjb · 10-28-2004, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by brand0n
my first thought would be not to smoke weed or do any other drugs that might show up

call me slow...

kenny · 10-28-2004, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by woj
eating a good meal before the test may be a good idea too... if you drink too much water the piss may become too watered down and you may be accused of trying to manipulate with the results....

The tests are way to accurate to manipulate by drinking a bunch of water.

That might of worked with 1984 testing technology but not anymore

Mz.YoLy · 10-28-2004, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GirlNinja
some guy told me to drink a teaspoon of bleach in a glass of orange juice... i dont know about all that. . .

i've heard that really does work

TheMob · 10-28-2004, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mz.YoLy
i've heard that really does work

I wouldn't try it. Bleach!?

Raven · 10-28-2004, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kmanrox
are you sure? since when?

Since about a month ago when my son bought one of those kits, drank cranberry juice 'til he was saturated, drank water, did everything.

His test came back inconclusive and showed irregularities.

These companies are right, in that....the tested urine won't show thc....but, it will show something, which means you buy yourself time for a monitored piss test or you get fired.

Now, he's been clean for over a month and will pass...most likely...

If it isn't a monitored test, you can have someone pee for you in a sealed bag. Problem is, they can also tell if the urine is older than a few hours. Testing has become quite sophisticated.

AAnnAArchy · 10-28-2004, 04:11 PM

This was earlier this year (well after the article from CannabisNews.com) -- a friend of mine passed a urine and hair test for a casino job in Vegas. He drank a couple of bottles of something from a headshop and used a special shampoo right before the test. I don't know which products he used though.

The best way to avoid getting up early, stupid bosses, urine tests, timed breaks...self-employment.

FlyingIguana · 10-28-2004, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GirlNinja
haha i dont have the cash for other ppl's urine or detox drinks, i'm a po folk

you can have mine for free, i just flush it down the hole anyways

10-28-2004, 10:31 AM	#1
GirlNinja Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: dirty south Posts: 1,515	know how to pass a piss test? I quit smoking like 2 weeks before the test (for a job), but i smoked a lot before that so I want to be safe. I know to drink tons of water right before. Any other remedies?

10-28-2004, 10:33 AM	#2
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,065	Someone has a pre-tested urine business. http://www.pretestedurine.com/clean-...g-test-kit.htm __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

10-28-2004, 10:34 AM	#3
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	my first thought would be not to smoke weed or do any other drugs that might show up call me slow... __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

10-28-2004, 10:37 AM	#7
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,748	Drink large quantities of cranberry juice (not the cocktail, the real juice) Drink LOTS of it. It clears out your urinary tract. (that combined with water) ....and don't smoke pot anymore. Give it up already! __________________ Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber

10-28-2004, 10:42 AM	#13
kmanrox aka K-Man Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Gutter Posts: 29,292	just call or go to your local Head Shop, there's all kinds of 1 time drinks you can take the day of the test that will fix the test for you. I've seen many ppl take these, and they passed every time. It will run you about $35 anything else you're told is a wive's tale. trust me.. hit me on ICQ if you want elaboration. __________________ Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor

10-28-2004, 10:39 AM	#9
stevecore Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 6,130	drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

10-28-2004, 12:27 PM	#21
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,309	OH THE IRONY OF THIS THREAD!!!! One of the biggest activist in this thread http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...adid=378810&s= just happens to be...you guessed it, GIRLNINJA!!! __________________

10-28-2004, 12:34 PM	#24
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	i remembeer seing something on 420times.com __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

10-28-2004, 12:53 PM	#27
SmokeyTheBear ►SouthOfHeaven Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: PlanetEarth MyBoardRank: GerbilMaster My-Penis-Size: extralarge MyWeapon: Computer Posts: 28,609	If your screwed heres what you do.. Right before you go in for the pee test pour some bleach over your hands.. let it dry off , but dont wipe it off. ( it will dry quick ) Ok now when you do the pee test , just piss a little bit on the tips of your fingers and the residual bleach will leech out into the pee and invalidate the test.. In a few weeks , they will likely call you back for another test, ( this gives you the time to get really clean ) __________________ hatisblack at yahoo.com

10-28-2004, 12:53 PM	#28
mookienow Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Sunny Sunny Seattle Posts: 987	Piss for enjoyment not employment.... Go to a headshop they should have some piss-rite Its a geliten vita drink that tastes like crap. Also golden seal helps mask it, but don't use both.

10-28-2004, 12:56 PM	#30
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	Don't do drugs and you will pass the test... __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

10-28-2004, 01:00 PM	#34
VIPimp Marina WILL have my babies! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 9,234	this is what you need: http://www.herbalgains.com/catalog/p...71a781f68f4911

10-28-2004, 01:21 PM	#37
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,309	If there's any trace of bleach in your piss then you're automatically disqualified from the job. They won't call you back for another test! "Um yeah, Mr. Johnson...we found BLEECH in your piss so the test was inconclusive can you please come back in for another test but please try not to drink BLEECH before this test." Give me a fucking break! __________________

10-28-2004, 01:25 PM	#39
M_M Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,167	I'd let you pee on me __________________ ;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)!;-)

10-28-2004, 01:45 PM	#40
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	eating a good meal before the test may be a good idea too... if you drink too much water the piss may become too watered down and you may be accused of trying to manipulate with the results.... __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

10-28-2004, 01:45 PM	#41
jmk Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,391	suck the tester's cock ?

10-28-2004, 04:11 PM	#47
AAnnAArchy Registered User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 53	This was earlier this year (well after the article from CannabisNews.com) -- a friend of mine passed a urine and hair test for a casino job in Vegas. He drank a couple of bottles of something from a headshop and used a special shampoo right before the test. I don't know which products he used though. The best way to avoid getting up early, stupid bosses, urine tests, timed breaks...self-employment.