50 left...

Dammit...should have been 50 ways to leave your lover.

Thanks a LOT tootie for sharing your experience... i don't know you but i can see you are a great girl and what you told me reminds me a lot of my love, and i feel very much like crying now...

She was like you... when we saw for the first time we couldnt resist each other. No matter what was going on around us we gave to each other and lived an intense relation until this sudden ending, which i admit i have the full responsability. She cheated the guy cause she couldnt have what she was looking for... she was bored all the time, but she felt very protected with him, thats why she took 8 months to left him and be 100% with me. And i can testify that the last month with both of us were really hard for her... she wasnt having a good time at all.

But tell me... what do you think about this now? Listen to the facts... we were most of the days together, until the very ending she was calling me several times a day to see where i was and to ask me to see her, we had a great trip a month ago, we were both tired a lot, she has personal issues (with depressed mother, financial problems, mentally ill bother, etc.), we fought a lot recently and i said bad bad things to her... not all the time of course, but they were said.

Do you think she is really indiferent with me and doesnt feel anything at all like she is telling me now? Or this is a masquerade to sustain her decision?

So true. My sin was to take everything for granted when it wasnt even close to that.

I agree on most of you say... but i feel i can get her back and if i do i know i wont make the same mistakes.

I believe only love can give us motivation in the exact amount, to change whatever is bad wih us... if we need that to get the ones we love again.

Well I can't speak for HER, but if it was ME, I think my leaving would be a way of getting attention and letting you think about how much you miss me so that maybe you'd think twice about saying mean things to me later. Yes, I know that's a terribly immature thing to do, leaving for attention or whatever, but females can be like that. Sometimes when we don't know how to get what we want any other way, we leave. We don't want to, but we just can't think of another option. At the time we leave we may think we want to, but not long afterwards we realize we just wanted you to stop what you were doing.

All the times I tried to leave my abusive boyfriend, I really just wanted him to stop being mean. He was so sweet alot of the time and I cared for him deeply. His parents kicked him out of the house when he was just a teenager and everyone he ever cared about ended up leaving him. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to stay. But eventually I just couldn't stay anymore. The many times I left, or tried to, before the last time, were cries for help, trying desperately to make him see that if he didn't change, I WOULD leave forever. Eventually I just realized that my leaving wasn't enough of an incentive to make him stop and I had to give up. I hated to do that to him, but I had no choice.

Without hearing her side of the story, there isn't alot I could tell you, but from what YOU have told me, it doesn't seem to me like she really wanted to leave permanently. That's just my opinion, though.

I think she is doing something alone those lines. I also think she believes now ill always be like that... so instead of having good and bad times occasionally, she preffers to leave me.

Another thing... she doesn't want to see me at all. Not by any chance, she refused everytime i could speak with her. This is very strange considering that she didnt left me for a strong fight, like me cheating her or something like that. I think she wants to forget me as quickly as she can...

Ahhh, she has huge pride which is turning against me now. But if i leave for good, she will never be back, im sure of that.

I know you think that, perfectly natural to think that. But, you will eventually do the same mistakes again because that is who you are. You will eventually follow the same pattern once the dynamics of the relationship become evened out again. And you will be worse because this time you will be afraid of her leaving again, and she will leave again. You will be resentful. I am a psychic, I already see it happening. She will come back to you within a month, probably about 2 weeks depending on what you do. Within 6 months this will once again play itself over. Come back and tell me if I'm wrong.

Just from you saying that she refuses to see you at all makes it sound like she isn't really as mad at you as she would like you to believe. She WILL talk to on the phone, is that correct?

Again, I'm only speaking from personal experience, but if I was willing to speak with you on the phone, but not see you in person, it would probably be because I still had feelings for you and wanted to talk things out, but I knew that I'd forgive you immediately and want to be back with you right away if I saw you.

I don't want to get your hopes up, because not knowing her at all I could be totally wrong about her intentions, I'm just letting you know how I would likely react in the situation.

It just doesn't make sense for her to want to leave you over something so trivial as a small nitpicky fight, especially when surely she has to know how many cheaters, beaters and addicts are out there now. It seems to me that either you're not telling the whole story or she doesn't really want to leave at all.

That's a possibility... the other 2 are either we never come back or we come back and stay together for good. Im betting everything on the last one...

Through this week, while telling my story to friends, family, clients (lol) i found out that there are a lot of cases where couples get together for a second time and it's much better than the first one. Even if they were separated for as long as 7 years!

I felt really really bad the first couple of days after we split, but now im motivated to get her back... it's a very nice sensation, but its a risky game too, if i lose, i wont be in a good stand for the next months for sure.

Yeah, im telling everything... but remember we were not having a very good time together like before, since like 4 weeks ago, when we came back from a trip. We were all the time together but exhausted, sex not good as before, less conversation, more fights (specially she was hysterical all the time with me) and i said cruel things to her. Thats it. And i think the fight before the ending was all she needed to take this step. But we are talking about a few weeks like this... both under extreme circunstances.

And the first times i called her after the split, i was devastated and wanted to meet her, and she was keep telling me that there was no point in getting together since she was indiferent and had no feelings for me, but sound with angry or even hate against me, and always hung up on me. Until yesterday when we finally had a decent phone call, which i started really cool but i ended when i was getting emotional. Today i called her after i drop her a photo of us in her house, but she was angry about it and hung on me again.

Sounds like you just need to cool it a little. I think she's probably willing to listen, but you're probably freaking her out by being a little too emotional. If you were having alot of little fights for weeks, she probably sees you as being volatile and the thing that would probably work best is to talk to her very casually every couple of days, just friendly, don't get too emotional. I know that will be hard, but it's important that you keep yourself together. Then maybe she will make the move to get back together.

Jesus! You people write too much!!!

Fact is, (as KRL Stated):

Boyfriends are like monkey bars to girls. They won't let go of one DICK until they have another one in their hands.

women come and go, don't be a sap. Get off your ass and go find a better one:thumbsup

"I gave her nice gifts all the time, from expensive watches to my own poetry & flowers. I took her to the best restaurants in town and helped her a lot when she moved to a new house (appliances, papers and stuff)"


THIS is WHY she left you. You gotta make sure you don't let her know exactly how crazy you are for her.

Best chance of getting her back is to completely ignore her. Date other girls.

Someone seems to post this advice in every thread like this and I have YET to hear about any of the couples getting back together.

Worst... advice... ever.

I have had ALOT of female friends and not one single one of them would EVER have considered coming back under those circumstances.

Where do you guys get the idea that we like to be treated like dirt? Because we tend to stay with guys when they treat us like dirt? It's not because they treat us like dirt, it's because they treat us like royalty when they apologize.

It does not matter what women think about our theories because women are not living in reality when it comes to why they are attracted to men.

I have dated lots of hot babes and the best way to make them forget about you is to be too nice. If they leave you the best way to get them back is to act like you do not care and you have moved on to other girls.

This has worked several times for me.

like you said...you've said bad things to her...and you've been both tired the past weeks or so....she wants some "sweet loving" gestures at those exhausting times.....

maybe it's not late to let her know you didn't mean those things...and you can be back at each other's arms :)

follow your heart...and you'll never be wrong :)

I totally agree. Thats why its always the ones you dont like are the ones that don't leave you the hell alone. If you're too nice its to boring for them and they will take you for granted. The problem is its hard to be impartial to the ones that you really do like.

Bro, STOP calling her completely. I know it is hard but you have to bite the bullet and just do it.

This is the only shot you have because she will wonder why the fuck you are not calling.

If and when she calls you do not answer the phone. Let it go to voice mail. Then do not call her back for a day or 2. When you call her back make sure you act like you are too busy to talk very long and end the conversation afer a minute or 2.

You gotta fuck with her head.

Another thing you can do is tell her to come over and get whatever she left at your house because you are planning on going traveling for a few weeks. This could drive her crazy. When she asks where you are going just say "to Europe to see a friend".

totally agreed, best advice... :thumbsup

if you too nice to a girl you will get burned...

i dont wanna argue w/ you guys....but it's a vice versa thing...
when a girl is too nice to a man, he burns her to death too :warning

for a relationship to really work, both should be really nice to each other :winkwink:

Holy hell! Reading this thread it's no wonder it seems like 90% of the guys on this board can't get a date most of the time! You guys really have a messed-up sense of what you think women want. :ugone2far

Gynecologist, if it's worked for you, it's only because you brought out the jealousy in the women. Yes, sometimes a woman will get angry when she sees her ex with another woman. That's natural. But it's not a good idea to toy with a woman you care about by hurting her and making her jealous. And it's certainly not a good idea to treat a woman like dirt after she leaves you because she's angry that you were treating her poorly.

I did not say that she has to see him with another woman. She just has to think that she is losing him.

And if some guys on this board don't get laid it is because they don't use basic psychology with women. Ever wonder why guys who are already dating a girl tend to get the most interest from other women? It is because women see the guy with a hot girl and think "wow, I wonder what is so great about him, I gotta find out".

:1orglaugh

It is if the you want her back.

I don't think he's talking about treating her like dirt, more to just letting her know that he's moving on with his life. That is often the best thing to do after someone you love walks out on you.... move on. Sometimes it causes the person to come back, but even if it doesn't... you've moved on either way. :D


Worst thing to do if you want someone back is to keep phoning them and being their doormat everytime they call.

Life is too short. If you spend it trying to figure women out, life will pass you by and you will end up all alone anyway.

Christ almighty, 3 billion more where she came from.

Move on or call Dr. Phil.

I'll be nice to you if you be nice to me :)

Wanna come over? :Graucho

Bullshit.

This is the way it is. There are two types of single women, ones that were fucked up by their dad or ones that were fucked up by the first guy they loved. So they go through life with these unresolved issues and they are subconsiously attracted to someone that will treat them like crap in order for them to resolve the issue that fucked them up to begin with. The ones that arent fucked up are usually married and some of those are even fucked up. So us as guys have to go around putting up with all these fucked up women and their issues which eventually fucks us up. Damn, I think I'm going to go shoot myself.

And you think all you men are all "flowers and roses?" Your shit stinks too... Tons of men out there have fucken issues; a lot fuck whores and prostitutes all the time, have issues being faithful, some have been burned by that "one love in their life" and have issues with women (and I'm talking ISSUES that require counseling) or have a madonna-whore complex, and a lot are compulsive liars... A lot of MEN have got some serious issues too. Don't make it seem like only women got issues... I've come across quite a bit of guys that are fucked up in the head big time.

I'm telling you, making a girl jealous may bring her back temporarily, but it's NOT going to last. If you get a girl back by dating other women, she's going to have serious issues trusting your faithfulness and committment to her if you get back together. I mean, if you've only been broken up a few days and you're already dating other women, what does that say about you? Either you're an asshole who's toying with her or you never cared about her at all and you were probably cheating on her the whole time you were together. (Obviously that might not be true, but that's the way alot of women would see it.) Dating other women is NOT the way to get back someone you are truly in love with and want to spend a lifetime with.

And although I usually agree with KRL on most issues, this is one I have to disagree on. That whole bit about "other fish in the sea" is just nonsense. Sure, there are plenty of women to date, but there are VERY FEW that you can actually click with and connect with on this type of level. If you're looking for a real committment and you find someone who treats you well and you have alot in common with, it's WORTH holding on to. :)

Maybe that bit about making a woman jealous to get her back is fine if you just want her back long enough to keep you in free fucks until you find a new girlfriend, but it's not going to help build a meaningful relationship for those that want it.

Its not about making them jealous, its about not letting someone that doesnt know what they want have control over your life. I've been there and there's nothing worse. I will never let someone have that power over me again, if their not sure then thats it, not going to fuck with it, no going back.

I've been through the same thing. Women don't know what the fuck THEY want, how are guys supposed to know what they want? The best thing to do I think is just try to ride it out and forget about her.

Well obviously a relationship where you felt like someone had some sort of power over you wouldn't be one that would be worth getting back. But if you're really in love with someone I don't think dating other women is the answer. It's not fair to the current girl or future girls who may get hurt because you still harbor feelings for the first one.

Anytime you're in love with someone they have a power over you. Okay so let me ask you this. If you just left a guy you loved for whatever reason would you rather him start sleeping in your yard because he can't live without you or would you rather him be cool about it? Maybe your ego would like him sleeping in your yard but you would definitely have more respect for him if he played it cool.

what have you said to her? the exact words..

dont lie about it.. it can explain stuff

I dont think blowing yourself in the mall is going to accomplish much of anything :1orglaugh

since she cheat you, you have to move on . make a brand new start. enjoy your life.

U are blind if u still can't see that there is a big possibility she cheated on u just like she did to the ex

first, you have to move on. those are mistakes that we cannot avoid . and always remember "Failure is an oppurtunity to begin more intelligently"

I guess I'd rather him be true to his feelings. I wouldn't want someone to be fake just to get me back. If he acts cool about it, I would probably think he really didn't care. In fact, I once broke up with a guy because he was being cool about things and I thought he wasn't into the relationship. It wasn't until after I broke up with him and he cried that I realized he was just trying to be cool and aloof. It really broke his heart and I felt miserable. Things ended up not working out with us, anyway, but I'm certain he would tell you that I lost ZERO respect for him after he beared his feelings to me. If anything I respected him more.

And if he was so troubled that he feels the need to sleep in my yard, I most certainly WOULD respect him. I could never have any lack or respect for someone who cared that deeply about me.

Of course, I may be the exception to the norm. I can't say how other women would behave in similar situations. I've just never known more than a very few women who are as shallow and cruel as the women I hear talked about by the guys on this board. (My sister-in-law is one of them.)

get a hundred roses and go tell her how you feel! and say sorry

here ya go, Frile

http://www.shempcam.com/index.php

and life goes on

Really bad things to her ego... from time to time. Things like:

"You have to be a shit person to do that", when she didnt wanted to come with me to a business meeting i was doing.
"Why you are studying that if you doesnt care about it at all... you are losing your time", when i was telling her a business idea i had and she wasn't paying any attention. She study business administration.

But in most of our real fights i told her she was a shitty person. Once, i also told her that i was spending a lot of money in her... as a reply when she told me i didnt care about her.

Of course i didnt mean any of that at all. Im terrible sorry for saying those things and if any of us has the responsability for the ending, its me.

And now you're that guy..

:1orglaugh

Nah... completelly diferent situation. When dating both of us, she saw her bf only on Fridays, they spoke very little, she was bored as hell with him... and she had plenty of free time.

This time, she was with me all the time (like 6 days of the week she slept in my bed), not because i was forcing her, but cause we both wanted, specially her. And she is tired as hell, with 12 straight hours of activity every day. Big difference huh?

wise words right there

100

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